dyzfunctioned Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 So me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 months (4 months officially dating, casual relationship for prior 4 months which was interrupted by a brief breakup) and we're almost complete opposites in a lot of ways. I feel like we have a very strong emotional bond but I often find myself at a loss about what to talk to her about. I mean there are times when we talk for hours, but it's not very frequent and whenever we talk on the phone I find myself running out of things to talk about after 10 minutes or so. We love eachother but sometimes I find myself wondering if the relationship can really succeed like this. I mean we can spend entire days together and be fine but we don't have that traditional best friend relationship that a lot of successful relationships have as we are so different and don't share a lot of common interests. Additionally we've been having problems on and off with sex. Sometimes I go for a while without feeling like having sex and when we do it feels forced and unenjoyable. Other times it's great. She's also into being a bit kinkier/rougher when it comes to sex which I like some times but most of the time it turns me off instead of the opposite. I dunno, I guess I'm just wondering if this relationship is doomed for eventual failure because we don't see eye to eye when it comes to sex and because we sometimes have problems with conversation due to lack of shared interests.
TaraMaiden Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Rocky. Very rocky. The fact that it has not been plain sailing on calm waters so far, is the first thing. The fact that you have relatively but significantly different sex drives, is the second. But the fact that you find it difficult to talk about anything and that you run out of things to say, is for me, the biggest red flag of all. Because in time, after a long-term commitment, this - a mutual interest in many things AND each other - is what keeps the relationship well-oiled and rolling. It's not a keeper scenario, really - is it?
Author dyzfunctioned Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 We're fine talking and stuff when we're physically together, it's just for some reason when we talk on the phone just nothing comes to me other than the typical how was your day, etc. Obviously there's some glaring issues but whenever we get in a fight we always work together to resolve and and despite our differences we always seem to work well together on most things. Our sex is great most of the time, it just seems to go in cycles. We talked about maybe breaking up once because we were so different and we both cried so much at the thought of it and we decided it'd be better to at least try and if does fail then so be it. We have such a strong emotional connection, I guess I just wonder if that's enough.
TaraMaiden Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 ........... We have such a strong emotional connection, I guess I just wonder if that's enough. If you're already wondering if it's enough - then it isn't enough. if things were smooth, you wouldn't even be asking....... would you? In my opinion (for the reasons given) this is not good. be friends, by all means. but long-term, Life-partners? not going to happen.
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