iammolly Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 So, I met a man online a little over 2 months ago. We hit it off immediately. Since the 22nd of April we have talked, IM'd, seen each other at least 2-4 hours per day every single day. After 1 month, we took a 3 day camping trip together, just the two of us, and had a great time. We would see each other every weekend and talk every single day without fail. Everything was great, including the sex. We never run out of things to talk about, we do not seem to get tired of each other ever. Since about 3 weeks ago, we have cooled off physically. I have seen him once since the beginning of the month. I have asked to see him, get together on a Sunday afternoon, meet for lunch, anything. There is always a reason he cannot. He has had some issues arise in his personal life regarding his ex and his kids and his job. He still talks to me everyday, has shared with me lots of details about the issues he is dealing with and sought my advice. We still talk or IM every day for at least 2 hours, generally every night from 10p to midnight. The last time I saw him, he gave me some things for my son's which was unprompted. He has never met them. Last Monday, I asked him about our relationship. I know... I'm female, I couldnt help myself. I said: (essentially) ...The feeling I am getting from you as of late is great friendship. But I am curious if there is more? Or has that passed? I ask because it seems as though I have done a lot of asking to see you, spend time with you etc, and it seems as though the subject is generally avoided, overlooked, or conflicts with other events. Given my perceptions of last 2 weeks or so, It leads me to the assumption that we are cooling off a bit? I also recognize that there have been some huge stresses in your life during that same time period. So correct me if I am wrong.... A simple, manly "we're cool Molly" will suffice. (alright well not really, but I am trying to be easy about it.)... If I haven't conveyed the sentiment enough in the short time I've known you; I enjoy your company. I think you are a good and intelligent man, with great advice, sense of humor, and wit. I have learned a lot from you, and I am glad that we have gotten to know each other and continue to learn a little about each other every week. " He said: "First, I am sorry I didn't reply to this sooner, I am sure it is killing waiting for my response. I didn't check my email until mid afternoon, as I was trying to get some stuff done and avoid the distractions that pop up online, lol, That being said after I initially read your note I wasn't sure how to reply. Which I guess you could take as a bad sign, as my immediate reaction was not "No, you have read me wrong" That being said, as I pondered how to reply, it did don on me that I can completely understand why you are feeling they way your are. The odd thing is that I didn't pick up on my actions or lack of action. I can honestly say that I have not been intentionally avoiding doing things with you, and as you pointed out I have had a few distractions, including a few I have chosen not to share. " And then he put off any more of the conversation until later. It's been a week and he still has not said anything about the above conversation. BUT, we still talk every day, email, IM, throughout the day. and then have our evening of 1-2 hours of IM. He ends every night with "Sleep well Molly, xxooxx" I really care about him a lot. But, what do you think this all means?
traveler28 Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Do you want to be with him? Are you suffering in the idea that you might not? Best thing you can do is let him know that you are 100% willing to let the romantic part go and never bother him again with no consequences if he gives you closure. Tell him that he should be honest and you will not turn into a psychobitch, and if he is to demonstrate any kindness he should make clear what he does or doesn't want to continue romantically. Then if you know you can move on.
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