skiaspen1209 Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I'm going to try to keep this relatively short, but I also want to give some background info, so please bear with me. Thanks. My now ex-girlfriend and I met my junior year in college (her sophomore year), and there was some attraction between us, but she had a boyfriend. The next summer, about a year later, we were both single and started talking more and more. She was taking class for the summer, and I lived about 5 hours away. So I planned a trip to visit, I had a great time while there, and I had to leave for home again. We kept in touch greatly the entire summer, and I ended up visiting again for a longer period of time, and we began dating in July. Since then, we've had some great times, and some not so great times, which I felt was normal for a relationship. As time went on, we realized we'd be graduating soon, and we each had plans for grad school afterward. We figured out that she'd be going to grad school for two more years where she got her bachelor's degree, and I'd work in town for a year, then I'd be off for vet school out of the city, possibly the state. We agreed that we'd have to do the distance relationship for her last year in grad school, but then she could move to where I'd be in vet school, and we could continue our lives together. I didn't think anything would go wrong... Recently, I would say over the past 2-3 months, I feel like our relationship had gotten somewhat stale, and I could feel myself distancing myself from her. I kept a busy work schedule, and that could have been a reason we weren't so close anymore. I still loved her and cared for her a lot, but I started to question if we were really cut out for a long-distance relationship and marriage and all that. I talked to my family about how I felt, and they thought that the best thing to do was to end the relationship soon. This would be right before her first year in grad school, and seemed like it would be a good opportunity for her to find someone else, seeing as she is still young. My two older brothers (each of which went through a divorce) advised me that it would be better for me to break up with her now, before we had to worry about marriage, kids, or any other complications. Sure it would be hard, but it would be better than divorcing down the road. So one weekend, I really distanced myself from her, and she could sense something was wrong. We sat down to talk, and I told her that I didn't know what else to say but that we shouldn't see each other anymore. It hurt to say, and part of me couldn't believe I was throwing away a great two-year relationship. After hearing what I said, she said she was planning on talking to me that night about how she sensed our relationship was weakening, and that we should find something to do to make it better for both of us. I felt that I had already committed to breaking up, and I didn't want to reason and work things out...so I remained stubborn, and told her no, we would both be better off ending things now. She told me to not think so much about my doubts about our up-and-coming year apart, and to just take things day by day. But still, I said no. I told her "I'm sorry", and she walked out the door. As soon as the door was closed and she drove away, I felt I had made the wrong decision. I cried for a while, and decided I had to get out of my apartment, where it was full of memories with her. I went to a friend's house, and a couple of us watched a few movies. It helped to get away, but after coming home again to sleep, I couldn't help but feel remorseful and sorry about what I had done. I really, really miss her, and I wish I could relive that night we talked. I feel like I should have put more effort into the relationship instead of giving up and calling it quits. It's been a little over a day....I broke up with her not last night, but the night before. Since saying "I'm sorry", and her walking out the door, I haven't had any contact with her, and that's killing me. I feel like we need to talk, and I want to reconnect, but I don't know how she feels or what she wants to do. I don't know if it's too late to rekindle our love for each other, or if I just need to work on letting her go. I can't help but think of all the good times we've had, the places we have been, the plans we had, and it makes me sadder than hell and sick to my stomach. I appreciate any advice anyone has, and it helps to at least have written down my experience.
JacquesA.LeFrancais Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I'm going to try to keep this relatively short, but I also want to give some background info, so please bear with me. Thanks. My now ex-girlfriend and I met my junior year in college (her sophomore year), and there was some attraction between us, but she had a boyfriend. The next summer, about a year later, we were both single and started talking more and more. She was taking class for the summer, and I lived about 5 hours away. So I planned a trip to visit, I had a great time while there, and I had to leave for home again. We kept in touch greatly the entire summer, and I ended up visiting again for a longer period of time, and we began dating in July. Since then, we've had some great times, and some not so great times, which I felt was normal for a relationship. As time went on, we realized we'd be graduating soon, and we each had plans for grad school afterward. We figured out that she'd be going to grad school for two more years where she got her bachelor's degree, and I'd work in town for a year, then I'd be off for vet school out of the city, possibly the state. We agreed that we'd have to do the distance relationship for her last year in grad school, but then she could move to where I'd be in vet school, and we could continue our lives together. I didn't think anything would go wrong... Recently, I would say over the past 2-3 months, I feel like our relationship had gotten somewhat stale, and I could feel myself distancing myself from her. I kept a busy work schedule, and that could have been a reason we weren't so close anymore. I still loved her and cared for her a lot, but I started to question if we were really cut out for a long-distance relationship and marriage and all that. I talked to my family about how I felt, and they thought that the best thing to do was to end the relationship soon. This would be right before her first year in grad school, and seemed like it would be a good opportunity for her to find someone else, seeing as she is still young. My two older brothers (each of which went through a divorce) advised me that it would be better for me to break up with her now, before we had to worry about marriage, kids, or any other complications. Sure it would be hard, but it would be better than divorcing down the road. So one weekend, I really distanced myself from her, and she could sense something was wrong. We sat down to talk, and I told her that I didn't know what else to say but that we shouldn't see each other anymore. It hurt to say, and part of me couldn't believe I was throwing away a great two-year relationship. After hearing what I said, she said she was planning on talking to me that night about how she sensed our relationship was weakening, and that we should find something to do to make it better for both of us. I felt that I had already committed to breaking up, and I didn't want to reason and work things out...so I remained stubborn, and told her no, we would both be better off ending things now. She told me to not think so much about my doubts about our up-and-coming year apart, and to just take things day by day. But still, I said no. I told her "I'm sorry", and she walked out the door. As soon as the door was closed and she drove away, I felt I had made the wrong decision. I cried for a while, and decided I had to get out of my apartment, where it was full of memories with her. I went to a friend's house, and a couple of us watched a few movies. It helped to get away, but after coming home again to sleep, I couldn't help but feel remorseful and sorry about what I had done. I really, really miss her, and I wish I could relive that night we talked. I feel like I should have put more effort into the relationship instead of giving up and calling it quits. It's been a little over a day....I broke up with her not last night, but the night before. Since saying "I'm sorry", and her walking out the door, I haven't had any contact with her, and that's killing me. I feel like we need to talk, and I want to reconnect, but I don't know how she feels or what she wants to do. I don't know if it's too late to rekindle our love for each other, or if I just need to work on letting her go. I can't help but think of all the good times we've had, the places we have been, the plans we had, and it makes me sadder than hell and sick to my stomach. I appreciate any advice anyone has, and it helps to at least have written down my experience. With all due respect...why don't people think about **** like that BEFORE you break up with the person lol. She might hate and resent you now. NExt time take a few days to see if it hurts BEFORE you break up with her. My GF 2 1/2 years ago was a monster, long story, and I had no regrets breaking up with her....None. She hurt me, and every time I saw her (LDR) It reminded me of how much it hurt. When i broke up with her is was shocked...she felt like it was like she was doing me a favor for being with her in the first place. So when she and I broke up, i felt confident with that. Think about your actions before you do them. Think of the concequences. Because you never know what will happen after you do the deed...
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