ecto-1 Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I'm sure your aware that MAJOR cities have medium to smaller cities surrounding them....Like C some unfortunately consider anything beyond 30 minutes LONG distance....not sure why.... You know how there's one MAJOR city, take Chicago for instance, there's numerous surrounding medium to smaller cities Aurora, Ill, Joliet, Ill, Elgin, etc ...plenty of surrounding towns. I knew this one woman who took a trip to the city for a "girls night out" with some friends, and she wound up talking to a guy, when she found out where she lived he says, "Oh....you're G.U." (Geographically Undesirable). The guy was an numnut anyhow, but that's what I heard her say. She lived close to the "big city" but wasn't a city slicker.....apparently living in suburban areas are too long of a distance for some people...ESP online daters. I hear from a lot of singles that anything LONGER than a 30 min drive...they can't deal with...they consider it long distance, and it would be too much of an incovenience, too much planning, too much time involved for just a "quick meet"...I guess in that situation, there's no such thing as a "quick meet", right? At any rate....this puts a lot of suburbanites out of the running I suppose (depending on what kind of suburban area you're living in) I live in a more rural area where people above 30 are mostly ALL married (for some reason, and are still together since Highschool, lol) Most of the real single people I come in contact with are in the big city.....some of my friends are like "You live where? Cripes, you've come a long way to see a movie or dinner with us! But thanks for coming anyway" Some people might not even HEARD of the town you commuted from for a social life. lol However, to city slickers, people like us "Suburbanites" are G.U. (Geographically Undesirable) For some reason, it's not a problem for me to drive an hour to see someone, not sure why, perhaps it's because I'm used to commuting to the same big city for work? Perhaps it's just I've accepted it completely? But anyone here who lives in rural or suburbs that have met people that won't even date people like yourself even 30 mins away? I guess people in big cities figure that since its DENSELY populated...that exploring BEYOND the borders of the city limits are not even an option....because there's PLENTY of options in the big city? That being said, people here who have come across situations like this, anyone have these rules in place? Do you refuse to travel over 30 mins to see someone? I think people in RURAL areas are more than willing to travel FARTHER to meet people, because there's no options in rural areas...but the complete opposite for city folk? lol
Morals Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 If it were a once a week hook up/FWB thing then it wouldn't be a problem. But the fact remains that anything over a good 30 minute drive (without bad traffic either!) does put a damper on people's connections. I driver to work and it takes me 35 minutes to get there in the morning assuming I leave within a specified time frame. Cities are notorious for having more parking issues and traffic problems versus suburban areas. So traveling from one suburban area to another one is different then traveling from the city to suburban areas (or vice versa). Real relationships it's expected to go on dates 1-3 times a week. Let's take my situations. I wake up at 6:30A. Leave the house by 7:15. Arrive at work 10 before 8. Get off work at 5:30-6:00. Commute back to the house takes longer---45mins. Go jogging and shower. That equals 7:30P. I go to sleep at midnight. That leaves me 4.5 hours. Factor in an hour commute each way to this hypothesized "romance" in the city. Now I only have 2.5 hours to spend with this person. All in one day. And it allows me NO TIME to do anything else that day. Granted you won't see this person every day... But generally speaking it creates issues. I think it would actually be easier if they were truly a LDR. Then you would plan 3 day weekends and stuff around them.
Author ecto-1 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 If it were a once a week hook up/FWB thing then it wouldn't be a problem. But the fact remains that anything over a good 30 minute drive (without bad traffic either!) does put a damper on people's connections. I driver to work and it takes me 35 minutes to get there in the morning assuming I leave within a specified time frame. Cities are notorious for having more parking issues and traffic problems versus suburban areas. So traveling from one suburban area to another one is different then traveling from the city to suburban areas (or vice versa). Real relationships it's expected to go on dates 1-3 times a week. Let's take my situations. I wake up at 6:30A. Leave the house by 7:15. Arrive at work 10 before 8. Get off work at 5:30-6:00. Commute back to the house takes longer---45mins. Go jogging and shower. That equals 7:30P. I go to sleep at midnight. That leaves me 4.5 hours. Factor in an hour commute each way to this hypothesized "romance" in the city. Now I only have 2.5 hours to spend with this person. All in one day. And it allows me NO TIME to do anything else that day. Granted you won't see this person every day... But generally speaking it creates issues. I think it would actually be easier if they were truly a LDR. Then you would plan 3 day weekends and stuff around them. Well, I hear some people make it work, I know this local women, she's dating a guy she met at a week long convention across the entire US, and they're dating exclusively, talk about expensive plan tickets on a constant basis. I think they visit each other once or twice a month, local guys hittin' on her, lol.....some trying to swade her from the LDR.....I've asked her, "So you can handle this LDR?" and she goes, "We MAKE it work" <shrug> Go figure. Meanwhile all her local guy friends are just WAITING to see if this doesn't last. lol
Morals Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Well, I hear some people make it work, I know this local women, she's dating a guy she met at a week long convention across the entire US, and they're dating exclusively, talk about expensive plan tickets on a constant basis. I think they visit each other once or twice a month, local guys hittin' on her, lol.....some trying to swade her from the LDR.....I've asked her, "So you can handle this LDR?" and she goes, "We MAKE it work" <shrug> Go figure. Meanwhile all her local guy friends are just WAITING to see if this doesn't last. lol I'll be honest with you. Relationships, at the core, are investments of time and money. If you have alot of one or the other, it makes things easy to facilitate the relationship. If both are "restricted" then it makes things harder, wouldn't you agree? Those who have the time, can often see their SO. Those who have the money, can find the means to see their SO. Those who have neither the time nor the money are hard pressed to do so.
Nuprin Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 I live smack dab in the 5th largest city in America and the 3rd most well populated downtown dwelling city in America. I live in the most desirable neighborhood, walking distance to all the best bars and restaurants. I live walking distance to the financial district as well. As a well heeled urbanite who doesn't own a car (because there is frankly no need), I would say that any suburbanite is usually out of the running. When I mean "usually," I mean don't expect my city slicker butt to be taking the commuter train to the burbs to see you. You better make all the effort to see me or pick me up. If that is fine with you then there shouldn't be a reason why people in the city and the burbs can't date. That's just my opinion... and a lot of 20 something to 30 something single professionals I know who live around me.
Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 When I was living in LA, I would only date parts of (310) and (323). Everyone else was G.U.
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