PlumPudding Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 This is a question unrelated to anything but something I've thought about nevertheless. Realize I'm not applying it to every situation. But it seems to me many people give up on relationships too easily. I'm not including relationships with abuse or where both people are miserable or try to make each other angry on purpose, or people dating a short time, etc. The general feeling I'm getting is that people tend not to want to really try to make a relationship work. They aren't willing to compromise. Sometimes, yes, people deserve better, but I feel a lot of it is people believe in this delusional fairytale of a man/woman that will fulfill all their needs and all they'll have to do in return is kiss and make love. Or they hit a roadblock and don't make the full-hearted attempt to try and solve things, but decide to move onto "someone better." This is just my opinion, through the experiences I've seen in my life, but I'd like to know what others feel about this topic.
Issues & tissues Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 The problem today is that we live in a consumer society. We have been brain-washed into constantly changing the old for "a newer and improved model" from mobile phones, TVs, cars to friends and relationships. These are very sad and precarious times we live in!
cdubs32 Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 OP you hit the nail on the head. There's no dedication anymore, people of our generation are too used to instant gratification and laziness. What people don't understand is that relationships and marriage are like anything else of value....you only get out of it what you put into it. No one makes the effort to work through anything or put effort into making the other person happy anymore. Marriages are all about status, and later they're all about the kids. That's why there's so many divorces AFTER the kids leave the house, the parents don't know each other anymore and don't know how to handle it because they don't have kids to raise anymore. These people ask themselves: why put effort into working through our problems or preventing them when there's a cheap way out call breakup or divorce?
TaraMaiden Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I don't agree that most people give up on relationships too easily. If anything, more people stay in bad relationships much longer then they should. QFT (. . .) LS is full of posts by people who have been waiting for years for marriage proposals that never come; there are endless posts by couples who have been mired in vicious break-up/make-up/break-up-again cycles for years; there are countless posts by people trying to get exes back rather than moving on to new relationships. Unfortunately, I don't think that all these are signs that people are trying their damnest to make it work, or that people aren't giving up on it. The majority of these situations arise because people fear leaving a relationship. They fear they will never meet anyone else, and consider that where they are is difficult to get out of, because of insecurity, and the fear of the unknown. People aren't sticking with these relationships out of determination. people are sticking with these relationships, because they're stuck. The wails of "I'm scared I'll never meet anyone else!", and "Is it too late for me?" or even "What if I end up alone?" are what prevent people from leaving. Not a desire and determination to make it work. Grit, guts, Effort and Commitment are not present, a lot of the time. What is present, is Fear of being alone.
Author PlumPudding Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 There is this huge lie in our culture that in generations past, people divorced less because they were more committed to marriage. HOGWASH! They stayed married because they HAD NO CHOICE. Yeah, what you say is true, but I'm not necessarily comparing it to "the olden days." I'm just taking a look around and seeing many people who don't want to put in the effort to making a relationship work that could be beautiful. They end it before they have to put invest a real part of themselves into it. I agree with a lot of what other posters have said--it probably has a lot to do about finding the new and better model, eh? I'm thinking that a lot of people--including many who post on these forums--really do try hard to make their relationship work. And there's two sides to that coin, too, the other part of their relationship might be one of the masses who don't wish to input the amount of work it takes to keep something going.
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