Engadget Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Deep down I know why from my adoption to my ex, but it truly sucks. I've become so jaded that I feel like if I allow anyone in, I'll end up getting hurt and thus I'm shutting out almost everyone. I recently had a fling with a girl, and said at the outset I was never going to date her yet having it end is seriously upsetting me. I guess just having someone there to talk to was better than being totally alone. I wish I could change this, but I've built so many walls and defenses I feel like I'll never actually get past it.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Deep down I know why from my adoption to my ex, but it truly sucks. I've become so jaded that I feel like if I allow anyone in, I'll end up getting hurt and thus I'm shutting out almost everyone. I recently had a fling with a girl, and said at the outset I was never going to date her yet having it end is seriously upsetting me. I guess just having someone there to talk to was better than being totally alone. I wish I could change this, but I've built so many walls and defenses I feel like I'll never actually get past it. I sort of can relate far as friends wise not romantically as I have my partner but 0 friends! and I need it that way least for now anyways. Ive actually openly avoided making any im hopeful it will pass as well key word there "hopeful" its just so hard when you really trust people only to be let down/used again and again least I can tell you your not alone if that helps at all.
EricaH329 Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 As i've briefly touched on already, I truly believe it all comes down to being 'left'. Becoming comfortable with a person (regardless of who it is) can really suck when the relationship comes to an end. When you are fresh out of a painful relationship (or fresh out of healing from a painful relationship), you are still very vulnerable to the prospect of any relationship you have coming to an end. If that makes any sense. Personally, the way i've dealt with that sort of thing, is knowing who you are and what you want out of any type of relationship (whether platonic or romantic). Once one ends, you realize that it wasn't a right fit for you for various reasons. It should be taken as a learning experience. I do believe you are capable of becoming close to a person, but only on your time. In your own certain way.
Author Engadget Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 As i've briefly touched on already, I truly believe it all comes down to being 'left'. Becoming comfortable with a person (regardless of who it is) can really suck when the relationship comes to an end. When you are fresh out of a painful relationship (or fresh out of healing from a painful relationship), you are still very vulnerable to the prospect of any relationship you have coming to an end. If that makes any sense. Personally, the way i've dealt with that sort of thing, is knowing who you are and what you want out of any type of relationship (whether platonic or romantic). Once one ends, you realize that it wasn't a right fit for you for various reasons. It should be taken as a learning experience. I do believe you are capable of becoming close to a person, but only on your time. In your own certain way. It is that, you're right and it's also something I've struggled with prior to it. If I feel like I'm opening myself up too much the worry is always being hurt, so I usually slam the doors shut and close myself off. I need to find a way to be open, while at the same time being distant enough so that if things don't work out I'm not truly bothered by it. Like I pointed out, I didn't want to date this last girl, and she didn't want to date me and it was all fine. I guess it's just dredging up bad feelings from my LTR or something, but I know my life isn't in order right now and that's why I wasn't dating at all, but this girl basically forced her way in.
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