hl78 Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I meet this girl approx 5 months ago we would talk maybe once or twice a month for the first 4 months then we started going places together with friends and talking and texting for hours everyday. she told her friends how much she liked me and could see me and her being perfect for eachother but did not want to bring anybody in the middle of everything going on in her life right now. i would watch her kids when she went to work and go to doctor appointments with her and the kids. She told me all her secrets even things her exhusband did not know. then she just stopped calling and texting. what should i do or what did i do wrong?? i really care about this girl and her kids and my kids really like her too.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 This: i would watch her kids when she went to work and go to doctor appointments with her and the kids. She told me all her secrets even things her exhusband did not know does not change this: she told her friends how much she liked me and could see me and her being perfect for eachother but did not want to bring anybody in the middle of everything going on in her life right now It sounds like you got to close to the 'middle', so to speak and she is backing away. Anything you do to go toward her, will result in her backing that much further away. If you want to keep this going, you'll have to let her do 100% of the contacting from now on, and you will definitely want to stop doing things that will involve yourself with her children and/or her close friends. It sounds like that is part of what she is trying to avoid.
Author hl78 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 So your saying let her relize what shes missing and if shes not then she want call or text.
deebeechrisyo Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Why did you wait 4 months to actually go out with her? Then after making that leap you guys started texting each other hours everyday. I think you were friend zoned sometime in those 4 months of minor chatting.
Author hl78 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 She was dating somebody when we first meet and im not gonna try and break somebody up for my gain because i wouldnt want somebody to do that to me.
deebeechrisyo Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Ah, that's understandable. I'm glad, I have the same feelings you do Maybe she is just burnt out on dating right now. Pretty lame of her to just drop out of the picture though.
Author hl78 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 i also thought friend zone but after other things happened and meeting her family i figured maybe there was more then friends. then when she just stopped everything i thought maybe we got to close to fast for her. but what do i know. lol
norajane Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 How long has it been since she stopped contacting you? Have you called her since she's stopped contacting you? Have you considered asking her if she and her family are ok, or considered asking why she's suddenly stopped talking to you?
Author hl78 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 ive tried calling and texting and got no answer for several days. i called her at work today because my daughter was going to camp for a week and wanted to tell her bye. After my daughter talked to her she told me she was busy and would call later "i promise" which shes at work and not a place to talk.
norajane Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Then you've done plenty. It's really up to her at this point to either tell you what's going on, or to turn out to be someone who isn't worth your time. You'll know if she's a keeper or not if her "i promise" turns out to be bullsh*t.
D-Lish Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 If she's going MIA for several days, she's not interested in you. I have to point out that it's not a great move to get your daughter involved, you essentially used your daughter for an excuse to talk to a woman that you have feelings for, that isn't talking to you. Using guilt isn't going to further your agenda, it might even make her angry. It would make me angry. This woman isn't into having a relationship, that should be painfully obvious.
Author hl78 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 my daughters got close to her when we would take the kids to the park and do things together with our kids and i got close to her kids too. i dont bring my girls around women that im talking to for the reason i dont want them to get close and get hurt when it dont work out. but this was my fault i did bring them around her because the way things was going i thought she was going to be different but i was wrong. i would not use my daughters to talk to a woman thats not the way to meet anybody.
D-Lish Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 my daughters got close to her when we would take the kids to the park and do things together with our kids and i got close to her kids too. i dont bring my girls around women that im talking to for the reason i dont want them to get close and get hurt when it dont work out. but this was my fault i did bring them around her because the way things was going i thought she was going to be different but i was wrong. i would not use my daughters to talk to a woman thats not the way to meet anybody. But when things weren't going in the way you wanted, you did use your daughter to call the woman. It's tough dating with kids, because kids get attached like adults do, and it's never good for a child to experience abandonment. When adults break up, the child feels the abandonment as well.
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