Confused100 Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Let me just start by saying that I was stupid and didn't quite heed the advice of all you helpful people on here earlier. That's the past, I can't change it. I want to make it better. That's why I need your help. You can find a much more detailed summary of my situation in my previous posts, so I'll keep it to a minimum here. Basically all that needs to be known for background is that I asked my friend out, but she said she just broke up with her boyfriend and wasn't interested in dating right now. That was about a week and a half ago. Last Monday/Tuesday I texted her and told her that I missed those long text conversations and that we needed more again. She replied and said that her mom thinks she's addicted to texting so it'll have to wait until she returns to the city. Then we texted a little after that. Then on Wednesday she wished me happy birthday via text as well as Facebook, it seemed enthusiastic. This seemed like a puzzling sign. Over the next couple days I texted her a few thongs but she never responded. Then on Friday she texted me and said that she was sorry for being so MIA recently, she had been really busy and she said her phone was being stupid. We exchanged a couple texts but that's about it. I sent her a Facebook post that same day and said that I had picked up what she wanted and asked her when she wanted to get it. I also asked when we'd resume working out and exclaimed that she should answer her phone. She hasn't replied yet. (Side Note: She did have a Facebook status Saturday afternoon that she was going away for the weekend with her girl friends. I don't know what that weekend means during the summer and I don't know what away means, but she usually leaves her Facebook on all day and is idle. I haven't seen her online at all the past two days). On Saturday night I sent those drunken texts and told her she was the greatest person in the world and that I loved her. The next day I sent her another text apologizing for sending it so late at night and apologizing for probably coming off as annoying and a doofus. That was last night, but didn't get a response. Think she's telling the truth and I've just had unlucky timing with everything? Or think she's lying and ignoring me? My current plan is to not initiate anything for about a week. If she doesn't contact me, I was planning to text and ask if everything is okay between us since I haven't heard from her in a while.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Let me just start by saying that I was stupid and didn't quite heed the advice of all you helpful people on here earlier. That's the past, I can't change it. I want to make it better. That's why I need your help. You can find a much more detailed summary of my situation in my previous posts, so I'll keep it to a minimum here. Basically all that needs to be known for background is that I asked my friend out, but she said she just broke up with her boyfriend and wasn't interested in dating right now. That was about a week and a half ago. Last Monday/Tuesday I texted her and told her that I missed those long text conversations and that we needed more again. She replied and said that her mom thinks she's addicted to texting so it'll have to wait until she returns to the city. Then we texted a little after that. Then on Wednesday she wished me happy birthday via text as well as Facebook, it seemed enthusiastic. This seemed like a puzzling sign. Over the next couple days I texted her a few thongs but she never responded. Then on Friday she texted me and said that she was sorry for being so MIA recently, she had been really busy and she said her phone was being stupid. We exchanged a couple texts but that's about it. I sent her a Facebook post that same day and said that I had picked up what she wanted and asked her when she wanted to get it. I also asked when we'd resume working out and exclaimed that she should answer her phone. She hasn't replied yet. (Side Note: She did have a Facebook status Saturday afternoon that she was going away for the weekend with her girl friends. I don't know what that weekend means during the summer and I don't know what away means, but she usually leaves her Facebook on all day and is idle. I haven't seen her online at all the past two days). On Saturday night I sent those drunken texts and told her she was the greatest person in the world and that I loved her. The next day I sent her another text apologizing for sending it so late at night and apologizing for probably coming off as annoying and a doofus. That was last night, but didn't get a response. Think she's telling the truth and I've just had unlucky timing with everything? Or think she's lying and ignoring me? My current plan is to not initiate anything for about a week. If she doesn't contact me, I was planning to text and ask if everything is okay between us since I haven't heard from her in a while. I think the girl just has allot going on and on her mind especially with just getting out of a relationship? witch is never a good time for anyone. Also maybe the drunk text freaked her out a little? and she figured its more drama then she cares to deal with at the moment no offence. Honestly op ide give her a good deal of space before you ruin the friendship.
Gallaxia Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Yeah, I agree. She just broke up with someone. She probably has a lot going on in her mind & heart. You might be bombarding her. You do have some some things you are wondering but, she will see it as 'an added stressful' situation. Give her some time to breath and think.
Serenitynow Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Let me just start by saying that I was stupid and didn't quite heed the advice of all you helpful people on here earlier Why start now ? .
Author Confused100 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 Why start now ? . Because I feel like a complete idiot now. I'd like to think I've learned some lessons and am going to give it a legitimate shot now. I'm definitely going to give her some space. It just sucks feeling like I have absolutely no control in the situation.
Yamaha Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 She is backing off b/c she doesn't like you ( like that ). You need to find another girl for a romantic interest. Then she would be willing to txt you when she knows your not trying to bed her.
Jilly Bean Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Dude - if you keep this up, you have a nice, fat, restraining order in your future. STOP STALKING HER. I would find your behavior to be obsessive and scary.
Author Confused100 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 Dude - if you keep this up, you have a nice, fat, restraining order in your future. STOP STALKING HER. I would find your behavior to be obsessive and scary. Am I really stalking her though? I admit, I've been clingy/needy, but it's not like I'd ever threaten her or anything. I doubt she fears for her well being either.
Jilly Bean Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Am I really stalking her though? I admit, I've been clingy/needy, but it's not like I'd ever threaten her or anything. I doubt she fears for her well being either. Stalkers don't threaten, hon. They obsessively contact their object, tell them how wonderful they are, how much they love them, how they are meant to be, etc. That's how it starts. Truly - I would be pretty freaked out by your behavior. Maybe she's not afraid, but she's certainly concerned... BACK OFF. And as the song goes, check yourself before you wreck yourself.
seekandfind Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Honestly op ide give her a good deal of space before you ruin the friendship. This is what you need to do. She is either not ready for any kind of dating right now, or is not interested at all. You gave her plenty of chances for her to display interest.
Author Confused100 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 Stalkers don't threaten, hon. They obsessively contact their object, tell them how wonderful they are, how much they love them, how they are meant to be, etc. That's how it starts. Truly - I would be pretty freaked out by your behavior. Maybe she's not afraid, but she's certainly concerned... BACK OFF. And as the song goes, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Duly noted. Thanks for the blunt honesty, I appreciate it. It's never what you want to hear, but it's what you HAVE to hear.
D-Lish Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Am I really stalking her though? I admit, I've been clingy/needy, but it's not like I'd ever threaten her or anything. I doubt she fears for her well being either. You're coming on way too strong- and that is turning her off. I suspect that she only likes you as a friend, and she is pulling back because you have told her how you feel and she doesn't want to lead you on because she doesn't feel the same way. You're not stalking, but you're being obsessive, and there is a fine line between the two behaviours. Things can't go back to the way things were because you have laid your feelings out on the table. If she just broke up with someone, it's too soon to be going after her so strongly.
Yamaha Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 You're coming on way too strong- and that is turning her off. I suspect that she only likes you as a friend, and she is pulling back because you have told her how you feel and she doesn't want to lead you on because she doesn't feel the same way. You're not stalking, but you're being obsessive, and there is a fine line between the two behaviours. Things can't go back to the way things were because you have laid your feelings out on the table. If she just broke up with someone, it's too soon to be going after her so strongly. I think we both know the validity of the bolded part. Even if she wasn't ready she would let you know that she would be willing to date you in the future. Has she orated any such proclaim? ( not trying to be mean but you need to open up the peepers and see things as they are ).
Jilly Bean Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Duly noted. Thanks for the blunt honesty, I appreciate it. It's never what you want to hear, but it's what you HAVE to hear. You're welcome, hon. I just don't want to see you get further entrenched in this. I would recommend you delete her number from your phone for now, so that you aren't tempted to contact her. Just let the dust settle for a bit. You'll be OK...
D-Lish Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I think we both know the validity of the bolded part. Even if she wasn't ready she would let you know that she would be willing to date you in the future. Has she orated any such proclaim? ( not trying to be mean but you need to open up the peepers and see things as they are ). Yeah, I get the impression this girl isn't interested in anything beyond a friendship. It sucks to know it, but once someone decides it, it can rarely be undone.
Jilly Bean Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 It sucks to know it, but once someone decides it, it can rarely be undone. You changed my mind...
Author Confused100 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) I think we both know the validity of the bolded part. Even if she wasn't ready she would let you know that she would be willing to date you in the future. Has she orated any such proclaim? ( not trying to be mean but you need to open up the peepers and see things as they are ). No, she has not orated such a proclamation. You're probably right. However, she did just reply to me, here is what she said: "Haha don't worry about it, I've received many a drunk texts in my day. I was just out of town all weekend so I wasn't really checking my phone." Edit: Think I should respond with anything? Edited June 29, 2010 by Confused100
Yamaha Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 No, she has not orated such a proclamation. You're probably right. However, she did just reply to me, here is what she said: "Haha don't worry about it, I've received many a drunk texts in my day. I was just out of town all weekend so I wasn't really checking my phone." Means nothing. If you want to keep her as a friend you better look elsewhere for love. It sucks to care when they don't feel the same but that's life.
Gallaxia Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 "I wasn't really checking my phone" ? What does that mean? Either you were or weren't.
Author Confused100 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 Means nothing. If you want to keep her as a friend you better look elsewhere for love. It sucks to care when they don't feel the same but that's life. Oh, I know it means nothing. I was just throwing it out there as another piece of material evidence to see if I was being ignored or if she has been honest with everything thus far It really does suck, and I hope I can find another romantic interest sometime this summer. A little difficult with all I have on my plate (summer courses, hospital work, etc).
Author Confused100 Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 "I wasn't really checking my phone" ? What does that mean? Either you were or weren't. Perhaps. Or perhaps that might be reading a little much into it. I mean, I use filler words all the time: "I'm not really doing anything right now" = "I'm doing absolutely nothing at the moment". DO NOT write her back. Okay. I will not. However, any specific reason it would be a poor choice?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 No, she has not orated such a proclamation. You're probably right. However, she did just reply to me, here is what she said: "Haha don't worry about it, I've received many a drunk texts in my day. I was just out of town all weekend so I wasn't really checking my phone." Edit: Think I should respond with anything? Oh, I know it means nothing. I was just throwing it out there as another piece of material evidence to see if I was being ignored or if she has been honest with everything thus far It really does suck, and I hope I can find another romantic interest sometime this summer. A little difficult with all I have on my plate (summer courses, hospital work, etc). 1st off op women so DO check their phones especially younger ones im guessing your both under 25? No women dosen't check her mobile at least once a day! ive seen guys do that but not women. I wouldn't read to much into her response to me shes trying to be polite in a friendly manner shes keeping it light I don't think shes trying to blantely ignore you. More like keep a little distance between the two of you I would respond but only if you can start to see her as a friend only again and back out of romantic mode can you honestly do that?
Jilly Bean Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Okay. I will not. However, any specific reason it would be a poor choice? Because you need to start pulling back from this a bit. Give it some room to breathe a few days.
Gallaxia Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 The reason? She's not making you the priority you deserve to be.
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