Author guarded Posted July 1, 2010 Author Posted July 1, 2010 so what should i do? i just can't seem to leave it alone. is it wrong to be feeling this way?
angelj Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 It's never wrong to feel. It's not wrong to feel that way. Those are your feelings. You're entitled to them. I have spent 3/4 of my twenties over-analyzing my relationships. Now, with 2.5 years left of them, I have this to offer: what you're describing (lightly obsessing over) is too difficult. It shouldn't be this confusing, misleading, tricky... He's still young. He may (likely story) come around but it (if it happens) will take a long while. The chapter will be closed in your eyes then you will have a tough choice to make. Look, anything that requires this much thought, analyzing, confusion, probably is not going to be beneficial to a rewarding relationship. I read somewhere that if a buyer doesn't want your goods, it's not a reflection of what your goods have to offer. Simply put: sometimes the buyer can't afford it, likes something else, isn't ready, doesn't have a clue in hell what they want... So what, you shot him down? Rejection happens and you guys were kids. If he's using that as an excuse... It's just that. How great of a friend is he anyway if he's letting you strip on a web cam and then not talking to you for a month? Don't sweat this. Or him.
Author guarded Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Thanks angelj, i just hate how i've been with this guy. i've never really been one to over-analyze every little thing in my relationships until this one came along. granted im the one to blame for the position i put myself in, i feel so damn stupid for not being able to get myself out of it. I can't believe how much i've fallen (if its the right term) for someone i never even saw that way. You know when you get that feeling that there's something there but you're just not entirely convinced until you hear it? i can't shake that feeling, i know its probably misplaced but i feel like he has feelings for me too, if its just sexual i dont know but there's something there right? i know this may seem like a redundant question, but, what should i do to get over it? his moving to another state soon, would it be a good idea to turn up at his work to give him a hug goodbye? and as Kamille suggested: "Tell him that if he ever feels the same ways and wants to take you out, he should get in touch with you" or is that just too much?
torranceshipman Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 To be honest he sounds like a player to me. Blowing hot n cold, saying he needs to make up his mind or whatever, showing interest when he was seeing someone else then asking you for advice about her when he knew you liked him, saying he'd lost interest in you all of a sudden, naked webcam action....sounds like a playa. You need to drop off the face of the earth - I bet that'd get him calling again. But if that is what it takes, don't go there because it obviously requires game playing to keep his interest and that's just stupid! And dont turn up to his work place unannounced - I think he'd be a bit horrified!
Author guarded Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Thanks Torranceshipman! You're so right. Guess my plan of rocking up lookin sexy and all has just been blown. He works in retail so i thought pretending to buy something wouldn't look so bad or freaky. lol Wow talk about my desperation to get an ******* to notice. what is wrong with us women, we blow off great men and get attracted to the *******s? Im a woman and it still baffles me.
bittersweet memories Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 me selfish? wow this is going to sound so wrong but.... it took me awhile to realise what a great guy he actually is and i feel like i missed out. he wanted me years ago and his words "i shot him down", we lost touch and he held back from contacting me because he thought i hated him, but i never did. ever. i didnt know how he felt so i couldn't avoid the fall out from happening. i guess i just want a chance, i just want him in my life. you know try and pick up where we left off? is that just not possible with men?[/QUOTE] Maybe he's just not that into you anymore.. let him go!
bittersweet memories Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Thanks Torranceshipman! You're so right. Guess my plan of rocking up lookin sexy and all has just been blown. He works in retail so i thought pretending to buy something wouldn't look so bad or freaky. lol Wow talk about my desperation to get an ******* to notice. what is wrong with us women, we blow off great men and get attracted to the *******s? Im a woman and it still baffles me. Don't do it! You will come off as a bunny boiler!. Give him his space, you'll never know...maybe he'll come to his senses.
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 what is wrong with us women, we blow off great men and get attracted to the *******s? Im a woman and it still baffles me. You just want him because you haven't been able to have him. That is all.
Author guarded Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 OMG i dont know what to do...... After 2 months he messaged me yesterday and apologised for being an ass... i didnt reply so he messaged me again and said that he wasnt expecting to hear from me and wished me well and all the best. and sorry again then he sent a 3rd message and said that if i wanted to talk he was online i still havnt replied........ am i supposed to acknowledge these messages or is it best to ignore them? if i do message back what should i say??
Reality Drip Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 You're done with this guy. The whole thing is just strange. He's waffling back and forth about being with you and just being your friend. He's a boy. He still hasn't figured out what he wants. The reason why you're hung up on him: you can't have him. Just ignore the situation and move on. There will be a clean slate and a man that's easier to read right around the corner. Don't waste anymore time into this...you guys missed your opportunity and that happens in life. Best of luck... -Max
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