Chilean Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Alright, so i'll lay out the situation for you all. Its kinda a novel so bear with me please. About a year ago I met this absolutely amazing woman, however when we met she had a boyfriend. During this time we became great friends and even messed around while she was still dating him. Anyways, the relationship ended but unfortunately I moved for work. However, one month ago she called me on the phone out of the blue and since we have been talking every night. Last week I had a break from work and I drove the 4.5 hours to go see her. I went in with no expectations (I wasn't really sure if I still had feelings for her and I wasn't sure she still had them for me). In fact I was more or less planning this to be a conclusion to the relationship. I stayed with her for 4 nights and we had a great time every night. We got physical every night (everything but having sex) with her initiating most times. She said we shouldn't have sex because of the implications of becoming a couple.. which just wouldn't work being so far away. I actually was okay with this. Anyways, for the past week I've been pining over my feelings and thinking they would have changed by now.. or at least grown less severe. I'm terrible with relationships, I have an incredibly hard time telling those I love how I feel and an even harder time growing close to someone. However, with her it feels so natural. She keeps telling me she is avoiding a committed relationship and she doesn't want one, until last week I felt the same. My question is... Should I take a chance? I haven't fallen for her but I can't help but imagine what if, and what I could possibly be missing out on. I feel like she is only saying that to protect herself from getting hurt.. what do you all think? If I do tell her how I feel I would prefer to do it in person.. but thats just not an option here. Is a phone call appropriate? How should I do it?
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Well, I think only you can answer that question. Listen to your heart and do what it tells you to. If really want it to work out with her, I'd say go for it
spyyder Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Well, I think only you can answer that question. Listen to your heart and do what it tells you to. If really want it to work out with her, I'd say go for it Sorry but I disagree. Listening to your heart is good when you have to do stuff like picking between two great girls, or deciding between your job or your family. My point is only listen to your heart is both choices are good choices. It's obvious this girl will be bad for you later on. Most would consider 'messing around' with someone else cheating. So, she cheated on her bf with you, so what makes you think that she wouldn't cheat on you with someone else? She's certainly capable of doing so! When I was in university I got involved with a girl who had a bf. I went crazy over her and I can say that I never experienced so intense love (now I can say it was actually lust). After a while I realized that it wasn't right so I decided to not see her anymore. It was painful (I seriously considered leaving Uni!) but I knew that it was the right thing. Later on I found out she actually slept around with 20+ guys, so yeah that just reconfirmed my decision. Bottom line is, she isn't trustworthy..heck she even told you that she doesn't want any commitment! Trust me, many women lie when they say they want a commitment just to cover their back, but when they say they don't, they really mean it!!!
Feelin Frisky Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 How the heck does one get physical four nights in a row w/o dying of blue balls?
Disintegration Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 It's obvious this girl will be bad for you later on. Most would consider 'messing around' with someone else cheating. So, she cheated on her bf with you, so what makes you think that she wouldn't cheat on you with someone else? She's certainly capable of doing so! I would most defintely agree. She cheated on her boyfriend with you. Do you really think she will be faithful to only you? Can you trust someone like that? If she can do it with you, she can do it to you. That is a major red flag.
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 It's obvious this girl will be bad for you later on. Most would consider 'messing around' with someone else cheating. So, she cheated on her bf with you, so what makes you think that she wouldn't cheat on you with someone else? She's certainly capable of doing so! Oh, good point. I didn't read the original post carefully and missed that part.
Author Chilean Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 To the blue balls comment.. it was definately rough . But she did "get me off" each night so it was bearable. And to the cheating/untrustworthy comments, we were both extremely drunk (she has since sworn off drinking and I know this for a fact). Though I know that doesn't excuse the behavior this isn't a big deal to me. So ignore that part completely. I was really just hoping to get some feedback on her telling me she wasn't serious about commitment. I know she has been hurt in the past and I wonder if she is just saying that to protect herself from future hurt. Can you ladies relate to this? Or like a previous poster said does this for sure mean she isn't interested in anything serious?
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 She only wants you for your blue balls. She kept them blue on the only time you were in her prescence. Blue ball controller! haha jks jks I think that for sure you should just cool it and feel those emotions out. See if they still feel strong in a week or two. Then chose to bring this up on the phone or on webcam (always a big/needed option for LDR)
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