cgracek Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 my boyfriend and i met and started dating 10 months ago when we were both... ready.. in a juvenile delinquency treatment program. i know it sounds crazy but we kept in contact every weekend and saw eachother every day at school. i spent 7 months there and he spent a year. we basically got eachother through it sane. after we were released we realized we were PERFECT for eachother and fell deeply in love. we rarely ever fought unless i did something stupid but he always forgave me. he made me feel SOOO special and treated me like a princess. we were soo close we sometimes forgot that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. we always discussed how were getting married, having kids, etc. recently he begged me to tell him how many guys i've slept with before him and i lied a few times until i finally told him the truth, names and all. he acted like it wasnt a big deal and told me he already knew it was around that amount. he told me he wished i was a virgin, and if i was i'd be absolutely perfect. i told him he needs to get over it because its in my past and i cant change it.. he acted like it wasnt a big deal. but he's been acting REALLY weird lately and broke up with me twice (we got back together. he said it was too hard to leave me,) in one week because he found out about another guy and he was "embarassed". he told me that he doesn't like how people talk about me and he feels like he could find another girl easily that didn't have a promiscuous past like me. it CRUSHED me. now all i can think of is how to help it to get over this! does my boyfriend TRULY love me? i feel like if he did he would be able to get over this. our relationship is TOO good to end because of something that i can't even change. anyone have any tips of what i should say? does he REALLY love me?
Serenitynow Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 You are too young to worry about stupid stuff such as this. You wone beleive me because you are young and think you know everything, but you could date 5 different guys, and given time you will feel the same about all of them, that they all are just amazing. People at your age dont see people for true vaules. All you see is the details on the surface. And anyone that asks about someones past sexual experiances is not very bright. Dont ask if you cant handle the answer. Obviously hes too immature to handle the answer. I believe a persons past is what makes them who they are today. So anything that happened before is not worth adressing.
alyssatranswarrior Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 There is an argument to be made that by "defending" your past you are saying you wouldn't change a thing and it was ok behaviour in your eyes. But since you are a juvenille i'd say your sexual past is a direct result of your acting out nature. You should be as hating of your past promiscuity as he is dissapointed in it. But you don't seem to be, so as I said. Maybe he takes it to mean you ARE promiscious in nature and since you didn't reassure him about the FUTURE he links your past to a possible future. He and you ARE immature but its not your fault. So I think serenity's words are a bit too condesending and simplistic. Sounds like you have a chance with him if you believe and cement the idea you won't be seeking men for sex, make sure he understands that completely, and that you are committed to him. I don't think marriage plans in teens is a healthy thinking though. Stick to building a STRONG relationship as BF/GF and thinking about your post highschool lives (for instance will you go to colleges seperately or both get jobs locally after HS education and all that tricky stuff). And good luck I hope it works out. I have a soft spot for puppy love which this situation seems like minus the past stuff.
Recommended Posts