danis Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Insight needed please. I am a MW, with a friend that is recently divorced. New job, new life, new location everything. My concern is that he has shut out everyone in his life including myself. I want to know if this is normal. He doesn't even like to return to his church because he says it is too painful. His W was never part of his church but he was a huge part. They want him to come back on a regular basis and he says he's not going back, that it makes him too sad to think about his old life. He also doesn't want to see his family. I can understand why he has written me off, as we were way too close. (EA). So I can accept that part. But is it normal to push everyone away, and what can I do to help.
HopelessinDTW Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Well, i'm going through a divorce also. And I can tell you that when I walk by certain places that me and my wife hung out in....I feel a lot of pain. He's trying to put his past behind him, but being around people and places that he spent with is wife is making him once again think of the past. It's a roller coaster ride when you are in the state he is in. It's a tough transition to go from a married life where you're close to someone, to having no-one. It's going to take time, but eventually he will start to come around. Just be there for him regardless of what he's doing now...I'm sure he appreciates it even though he might be shutting you out now.
Author danis Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 So I should just let him be...seems like he just wants me to leave him alone.
imagine Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Danis, he needs to keep far away from you. You need to do the same thing. Right now you need to pray for your marriage and your husband. Sorry girl, you need to get your priorities straightened.
U2RockZz Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 why not get a D for yourself...then put all the care you have on your OM or anybody else....why are you wasting H's time......you definitely seem to care more about your OM's feelings than your H.....why keep him in the dark....with the kind of wife he has it doesn't really surprise me that he(H) is arrogant,nasty.....it won't surprise me even if it is more than that
2sure Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Sometimes a new beginning such as he is having the opportunity to experience includes getting rid of the superfluous parts of our life so that we can really focus on whats important. Maybe he wants to join a different church where no one has preconceived ideas of him. Its possible he considers his relationship with you a mistake and a part of his life he prefers to move on from. You have to let him. Checking up on him in the name of its for his own good or because you are concerned...is to others...stalking.
U2RockZz Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 i just read some of your posts...it seems to be your life time ambition is how cheat on your H....again it doesn't really bother me that your H is cranky.... with this kind of a lady in home who the hell need enemies.....get a D ASAP....at least that guy(H) can live longer with out you
What_Next Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I am sorry to say it but I agree with the responses thus far. Leave this man alone. If you want to pursue him PLEASE have the common decency to tell your H.
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