angelj Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Question: When (at what age/point in life) is age nothin' but a number? We've got Demi Moore and Ashton - a 15 year difference! Don't tell me its just because they are famous... I have male friends who are 27-28 dating 19 year olds... and then there are the 19 and 22 year old's that chase after me (I am 27) So what's the deal with the age thing? Er - what are your thoughts on this, community? There are so many stereotypes when we are in our 20s and 30s (I find) about dating younger. However, once we mature, dipping down in the dating pool isn't fishing in the kiddie pond anymore...
that girl Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Sure, when you're 31 and 44 age is just a number, but in general I think it is more complicated than that. I'm out of college, but since age 18 I've been very leery of guys over 25 who go after girls under 22. My experience has been that a lot of those guys are either very predatory or don't take the woman seriously. And I've never dated a much older guy, this is just from seeing friends go through it and having older guys hit on me. The exception for me is how they know the person. If the older party gets to know the younger party well before dating it tends to be different than if he goes after her without knowing her. My experience has been good guys really pause before getting involved with a college aged girl. They are very concerned with not leading her on or exploiting her in anyway. So I think there is a big difference between someone who happens to fall for a much younger person and someone who goes out looking for it. Because really, once you're in your mid 20s, you're not generally meeting a lot of 19 year olds.
aerogurl87 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 When you become of the legal age of consent, it's no longer an issue to me.
alphamale Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 When (at what age/point in life) is age nothin' but a number? i'd say around 40
Serenitynow Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 The age difference in dating is influenced quite a bit in american culture. There are many other countries where the guy can date and marry a younger female with out anyone thinking twice about it. There tends to be a slight maturity gap between males and females at a younger age, so its common to see the guy a few years older than the female, since females mature faster, and seek a guy a few years older to match up. Myself, I would find it hard to date someone 10 years younger than me (I'm 39) I think the generation gap would be too much, and a female that young going out with a guy my age, probably has some issues, or is looking for a father figure that she never had. Always exceptions to everything, but thats my 2 cents
Author angelj Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 When you become of the legal age of consent, it's no longer an issue to me. So, does this mean dating or fooling around? May I ask how old you are? I am truly interested in your thoughts...and @ that girl - I agree with the predatory thing...men who typically plunge into a "relationship" with a young girl are typically very insecure or controlling. I've watched that as well. I guess it doesn't become "accepted" until you are somewhere in your 30s or 40s. You're right, once out of college, we don't tend to hang around younger crowds.
aerogurl87 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 So, does this mean dating or fooling around? May I ask how old you are? I am truly interested in your thoughts...and @ that girl - I agree with the predatory thing...men who typically plunge into a "relationship" with a young girl are typically very insecure or controlling. I've watched that as well. I guess it doesn't become "accepted" until you are somewhere in your 30s or 40s. You're right, once out of college, we don't tend to hang around younger crowds. I'm 20 and for me this includes dating and fooling around as long as neither party is being manipulated into thinking they are getting something that the other person has no interest in giving them. My ex was 30 when I was 19 and before him I briefly talked to a guy who was 33. I'm mature for my age though and not the naivest young girl, so we were both on the same page about what I wanted out of the respective relationships. With my ex it was a romantic relationship that I got till I realized it wasn't up to my standards and left him. With the other guy it was purely sex which I was upfront about him with, but since he wanted more I let him go as well.
alphamale Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I'm mature for my age though and not the naivest young girl,... everyone who is 20 says this...
Author angelj Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 I do agree that your perspective...thoughts... wishes... entire being changes after 20 and continues to do so throughout your twenties... at least for females. What about males?
aerogurl87 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 everyone who is 20 says this... I'm sure they do, but I grew up around older people most of my life anyway as a result of always hanging out with my sister and her friends. Are there some things I'm naive about still? Yes, but I'm not so naive to believe every word that comes out a man's mouth especially when his actions are screaming "I have control issues" or "I just wanna get laid".
northstar1 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 There are exceptions to the rule and it depends on how mature both people are. Some people just click naturally well, regardless of age. Once you get over 30, the difference really doesn't matter, as hopefully both are done with school, finding some sort of career and know more or less what they want in life and aren't wasting each others time. however, I think a big age gap of dating someone who is under 25 is going to present problems at some point. So, while a 35 year old guy could date a 23 year old girl and share SOME interests, at some point, the generational or maturity gap will present itself. I've seen it happen with a friend of mine who dated a girl 11 years younger. She still wanted to be carefree and see her friends all the time and go clubbing, while he was past those days and after a few months, he began to become tired and jealous of her antics and it broke off. There are exceptions ofcourse, but I think that they will just want two different things in life.
reservoirdog1 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I think it depends where both people are in life. I've just started dating a woman who's 26, nearly 27. I'm 38. However, we're both parents -- her kids are 3 and 5, mine are 9 and 12. It's way too early to tell if it'll work or not, but the initial indications are positive. So far we haven't encountered any significant disconnects.
lab_brat Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 i agree - its so dependent on where each person is in life - i'm 26, and have dated between 24-42 year olds - i wouldnt turn down someone i liked because of their age. I think its only an issue when you repeatedly look to date within a specific age group - like if a man my age was always dating 18-20yr olds i'd be a bit leery.
jason83 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Yep, I'd say it's dependent on where each individual is maturity wise. I have dated women up to 5 years younger than me and women up to 7 years older than me.
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