chise Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Hi, I am going out with this guy who is truly awesome. He contacts me all the time, make consistent plans to see me and make me laugh non stop. He is smart, funny and hard worker. He had the best time together and we have an amazing chemistry. It seems great but actually it is not. I do not see a future here and RED FLAGS are massive. He expressed many times he is unreliable, like a child that when he had a toy wants a new one, never satisfied and cheat on all his previous relationships. But I cannot stay away. The idea of moving on makes me feel terribly sad and when he talks to me i see a big smile on my face. I know i am heading the worst heartbreak of my life and i cannot stop it. I mean, he is great and our relationship is great but all his comments are a big concern to me. I should be concerned, right ? But why i am hopeless ?
Serenitynow Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I should be concerned, right ? But why i am hopeless ? Because you are a female, and subconsciously you think you can "fix" him, and that all that bad stuff wont happen to you. If the guy was total opposite, and brought no baggage to the relationship, you probably wouldn't even go out with him. Dont think I'm an idiot either, if you spend enough time on this site, you will constantly see women asking why they fall for stupid guys, exactly like you are doing. There will be a ton of people on here that tell you not to do it, but lets see how many women step up to the plate and give honest insight as to WHY they like dating idiots. .
cdubs32 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Hi, I am going out with this guy who is truly awesome. He contacts me all the time, make consistent plans to see me and make me laugh non stop. He is smart, funny and hard worker. He had the best time together and we have an amazing chemistry. It seems great but actually it is not. I do not see a future here and RED FLAGS are massive. He expressed many times he is unreliable, like a child that when he had a toy wants a new one, never satisfied and cheat on all his previous relationships. But I cannot stay away. The idea of moving on makes me feel terribly sad and when he talks to me i see a big smile on my face. I know i am heading the worst heartbreak of my life and i cannot stop it. I mean, he is great and our relationship is great but all his comments are a big concern to me. I should be concerned, right ? But why i am hopeless ? Please see this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t236365/ You're hopeless because you're a woman and you're being stupid. You're being stupid and you can even see it for youself, no one has to tell you. You will always run into this because you don't know how to judge character, let alone notice decent men if/when they approach you. You probably rule them out very quickly because they aren't flashy/crazy/interesting/tall/rich right away. Your only options are to accept your fate, you don't know any better than to attract losers who will treat you like crap, or join a church and become a nun. Good luck!
Sivok Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Chice, ignore Serenity and Cdubs - they're bitter men. You can't help it because the logical and emotional are always at war when it comes to relationships. And you know what? Emotion always wins. Now I don't know if this guy is just saying that or what, but the fact that you feel like you don't have him twirled around your finger and that he can get other girls is causing you to mentally place him on a pedestal - you may feel like he's a real catch. Just make sure what you feel is genuine and not infatuation. My best advice to you is start slowly distancing yourself from him. It might not seem easy now but do this and day after day you'll start feeling less for the guy. Say what he says is true and you know you're headed towards failure. Really, you got two options: 1) Dump him, take the hurt, and move on 2) Wait until he cheats on you, dumps you, hurts you even more at that point since you're more invested than you are now, and then kick yourself for not doing step 1 .
Author chise Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Thank you for your replies. The reason why i cannot stay away is because i really felt for him and our relationship is good and he is perfect with me. I am concerned because of something which does not appears real to me, just like a noise behind. If he was just abusive, careless or not interested it would be easy. Sometimes i want to know that these words will never become true and some times it guess i am not that special to change his character.
Serenitynow Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 LOL Sivok told you the exact same thing I did, but obviously he likes to use occasions as this to butter up the girls when they come here. I dont care about sugar coating on here. I will tell you like it is and thats final. If you cant control your own decisions on your emotional well being than the last thing you need is someone sugar coating the situation for you.
Diezel Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Because you are a female, and subconsciously you think you can "fix" him, and that all that bad stuff wont happen to you. This is it right here. Many women see a raw product (carbon) and believe they can polish it into something finer (Diamond). In the end, most of them end up with nothing more than a lump of coal and a broken pick-axe.
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