southernmomma Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Hi all, i found this site this morning and really just needed to vent about my situation with people that can relate. I have been in my affair for just over 8 months now. we met on the internet actually both looking just for friendship and it went from their. Things started out talking 6-8 hours a day. yes literally, then after a few months we both realized that our work was going to hell everything was. so we reevaluated our situation then his mother passed away. well he started talking to someone else while he was talking to me and when i finally found out about it, i put a stop to our relationship he begged me for one more time. i said yes and that was 3 months ago everything is going fine, until he went home one night with a hotel key in his pocket. OOPS. well she did not leave him then and i guess she isnt, well then i guess as my luck would have it, my hubby found out about the affair and we vowed to not end this but just back off for a while.we finally saw each other again after 2 weeks after the outing of my affair and everything seemed great, work has been keeping him busy friday and told he is in the hospital with chest pains. i have tried and tried to end it but everytime he says i love you. i even offered to end it today so maybe the stress level for him will go down. he said no. that he loves me to much. it cant be all about sex because we only see each other 2 a month unless things are calm at his work, we talk multiple times a day and text close to 200 a day. hes bought a prepaid cell just to talk to me. he told me thursday that im so far in his heart that i will never go away, I want to walk away from my marriage i realize after 11 years i just married him to get out of the house. sad reason. OM had a previous affair before that resulted in a child that just graduated from high school this year. and he keeps telling me he would never leave his daughter who is 15. i am just so depressed about this hole thing. i want to end it but then again i cant imagine my life without OM in it.
Owl Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I want to walk away from my marriage i realize after 11 years i just married him to get out of the house. sad reason. OM had a previous affair before that resulted in a child that just graduated from high school this year. and he keeps telling me he would never leave his daughter who is 15. i am just so depressed about this hole thing. i want to end it but then again i cant imagine my life without OM in it. OK...so this is SIMPLE. Not easy...but definitely SIMPLE. File for divorce. If you don't think you're strong enough to do it on your own...tell your husband that you've resumed the affair and that you can't imagine your life without OM in it. Odds are...divorce will come rather quickly. You don't have to wait on OM to leave his wife...in fact, that has absolutely nothing at all to do with YOU divorcing. Step up, pull up your big girl panties, and make it happen. There's no reason to stay in a marriage that's doomed to failure. Time to go!
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Unfortunately, all the love in the world won't fix what broken in a serial cheater. He won't change for you or anyone else. I get that you are caught up in this emotionally but unfortunately what you are engaging in is unhealthy for you. You can continue down that road and allow yourself to get deeper into this mess or you can drop any thought of a future with this guy and get your own life together so that you can move on from your marriage and become a healthy individual with SELF love as well as SELF respect. As things stand you are not only hurting yourself but others as well.
cavedweller Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 southern, You are wasting your time with this OM..He will never leave his wife for you.
piscis Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Hi southern. My MM was involved in an affair before me from whic he has a 10 year old daughter, he loves me but can not leave his W in order to be with his 7 year old. As I read you I realized our situation is a little similar (we work together so we see each other daily) and I can tell you WALK away right now. I should do the same. You are going to engage in an emotional rollercoaster that will leave you without him and without yourself. I try to always search for a good thing inside the bad things the good thing here as I see it is that you realized you are in an unhappy marriage take the decision to leave not considering your OM because I am almost positive he will remain in his M but you can search deeply inside you and if you are not happy in yours leave. Keep posting
2sure Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 My MM was involved in an affair before me from whic he has a 10 year old daughter, he loves me but can not leave his W in order to be with his 7 year old. Just have to ask, not a t/j , maybe useful. His previous affair resulted in a child. He did not feel that child was worth leaving his marriage for even though at the time the marriage had no children. NOW he says the affair isnt worth leaving his child for. You see this right?
CrayonAngel Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 He is a serial cheater. Do you really want to have his W's role? I think you should D your H and start new..don't do it for this loser.
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