Mary3 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 No one is absolving her. His anger issue really has nothing to do with what she did or didn't do. He has a right to be angry, yes, but expressing that anger in an inappropriate manner is still his problem. We know he did wrong by yelling at her and making her feel afraid. It is a separate issue from the actions she took. Those will also have to be addressed, but never should it be "well I wouldn't have yelled at you if you hadn't done x". Those are classic words of an abuser. It's really the same as "you made me hit you". I've been on the receiving end of that and it's not pretty. Beautifully Spoken
Author jason83 Posted July 1, 2010 Author Posted July 1, 2010 Just wanted to say thanks again to everyone who responded! My gf and I spent all day together yesterday. We talked through everything and she kept getting really close to me throughout the day. We spent the day at my place and she even stayed the night with me. We're back to saying "I love you" and kissing, etc. Again we addressed all of the issues that came forward and neither of us have had a drink since. Today was her mom's birthday and she asked me to come over. Never did I apologize although I did consider it but never felt like I had to. I think everyone knew that this was ultimately between my gf and I and things went back into the normal routines fairly fast with her family. I was going to leave early and her mom actually got upset that I was going to leave. So I spent all day there again today and again everything was more than great between my gf and I. I won't say that everything has been forgotten but we are definitely moving past this and making our relationship even better than before. It really does look and feel positive and that's the main thing. Just had to give everyone here a brief update and say thank you to all of those who chimed in
Mary3 Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Just wanted to say thanks again to everyone who responded! My gf and I spent all day together yesterday. We talked through everything and she kept getting really close to me throughout the day. We spent the day at my place and she even stayed the night with me. We're back to saying "I love you" and kissing, etc. Again we addressed all of the issues that came forward and neither of us have had a drink since. Today was her mom's birthday and she asked me to come over. Never did I apologize although I did consider it but never felt like I had to. I think everyone knew that this was ultimately between my gf and I and things went back into the normal routines fairly fast with her family. I was going to leave early and her mom actually got upset that I was going to leave. So I spent all day there again today and again everything was more than great between my gf and I. I won't say that everything has been forgotten but we are definitely moving past this and making our relationship even better than before. It really does look and feel positive and that's the main thing. Just had to give everyone here a brief update and say thank you to all of those who chimed in Jason Great ! Slow and Steady....she wants to trust you again and with patience and a little advice / guidance and there you will be back right where you were. I am glad you guys cut out the alcohol. At least for now. Later maybe a drink or two and see the reaction of both of you Find out if the liquor aggravates things and maybe work to totally eliminate it , if you think thats for best
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