Girlfriend broke up with me.

[ElToroGrande]

Heya, hows it going guys this is my first post here but i really need to speak to someone about this as its really hard and im sick of acting all macho in front of everyone. Bare with me this may be a bit long lol.

 

Basically i have been dating my gf since last October, she is a wonderful girl! beautiful, smart and funny basically everything i have ever looked for and more. We instantly clicked and had the best times together! but when we first started seeing each other she was seeing another guy as well, we were not exclusive so that was ok. She chose me over him and we started going out. Unfortunatley the guy she was seeing is also her best friends cousing so he was alaways about, i got really jealous and the fact that he text her one night saying he still liked her didnt help matters, but still i got over it and got on with it.

 

Fast forward my gf and her friends book a holiday with 6 guy pals, and yep he's there! this causes major problems! loads of fights and stuff but we always got over them. I thought a break up was best then because it was going to be too hard but she begged me to stay with her and that we could work through anything, she called me every day on holiday and even wrote me a letter for every day she was away with little gifts inside. Plus she dais the guys were only going to be there for 10 days instead of two weeks. This showed me she really cared and wanted to make it work so i tried. On holiday though she completely changed, she became really selfish and her phone calls were cold! we argued a lot again and had a BIG arguement on her last night when i was really drunk.

 

So when she gets home she comes up, says that she doesnt feel the same anymore, says we arent being decent to each other anymore and that our spark is gone. Says this relationship is making her a person she doesnt want to be, and that she has started lying to me, nothing big just little daft things but thats she knows it will only get worse and she scared she might cheat on me one day. I tell her that i love her more than anything, know i was wrong and things will change, she says she doesnt know what she wants to do, because she doesnt want to know that theres never a chance we can get back together someday if we break up. She says we should take a break for a while to find ourselves. After a few days though i text her and say that a break is no good, if she wants to give this a trye then so be it but im not going to put my life on hold.

 

She phoned me last night and said that its not going to work, she loves me but doesnt feel in love with me anymore. Doesnt feel like she used to and couldnt say to herself 'i love that boy so much!'. So thats it we are broken up, and it hurts like hell! i feel like my world has come crashing down! i tell her that we shouldnt talk anymore and that i have deleted her facebook, she gets kinda mad and is like but cant we be friends, i want to know what your doing from time to time, dont you want to know what im doing? i tell her no because jealousy will only fester and its best we make a clean break. She reluctantly agrees. I know that this holiday has changed her, she's really buzzing right now about all her holiday friends and i get the feeling that the rush of being just back and always hanging out with them is clouding her judgement.

 

Thing is she has to come over during the week to pick up her DVD's, how should i play this? is there any chance we could get back together? iv not contacted her again, but iv left my facebook open and started messaging other girls, bit cheap i know but jealousy is a powerful tool. Any help would be greatly appreciated, i feel like **** and i just want to get her back. I kinda feel like she might change her mind down the line, she hasnt spent even one day herself since we met up on thursday, i think that because she has been surrounded by friends and partying she isnt really processing this properly. Maybe when she actually finds herself alone with herself she'l see things differently. But then again im probably just clutching at straws

[whatadeer26]

Holding onto hope will only prolong your healing. I am going through this right now and I fell like **** all the time. I can't sleep or eat. I feel like my heart was ripped out of my body. Girls hate to see you having fun. It's July 4th next weekend. Go out and have a great time. Go no contact and move on. I know it is easier said then done because trust me I am probably doing exactly the same S*** you are, but I know it to be true that their are plenty of fish in the sea. Do not look at her FB, because it will only make you sad and jump to conclusions. You will find someone better who loves you and that makes you happy. Go out and find her. Sitting in worry about your Ex won't help you.

[ElToroGrande]

Cheers for the reply mate. Sorry to hear your in a similar situation mate, hope all goes well for you, its always comforting to know other people are where you are and have been in the same situation...though kind of sad at the same time. Wouldnt wish this feeling upon anybody.

 

Your right though its best to just forget about her and get on with my life, cant help but feel she is going to feel differently in a few weeks though but im not going to hold my breath. Best thing we can do now is go out and meet other girls.

 

Ahhh this is horrible, like a swinging pendulum of feelings from extreme sadness to being optimistic at building a new future. This is gona take a long time to get over. Need to get this stuff off my chest though, i act like a macho man in front of my friends and parents and its getting hard to keep it up. Need to vent, thanks for listening.

[JacquesA.LeFrancais]

You know I read this and first thought to myself that maybe you should give it time, be her friend and see what happens.

 

Then I thought of what someone i once loved did to me. I think most people have been where you are. The daunting task of dealing with a hurt you never wanted or expected, you never thought would come.

 

Cast aside and easily replaced...something that I admit to you, that I am afraid of. Of meaning so little, that I could be replaced easily and without second thought.

 

Here are the things you need to know and do.

 

1. She doesn't want you, harsh as that is the faster you realize it the better you will be

 

2. She doesn't respect you. There is no one, I don't care who it is that can say it is respectful, in any relationship to have the conversation "Hey X is going to be on vacay with us, isn't that funny, he texted me JUST the other day saying 143, <3, I still wuv joo". To put herself in that, for any reason is wrong. I am sorry it is.

 

3. She is shagging him. Harsh again, but realistically you will do yourself better by ignoring her.

 

4. NO CONTACT...STOP MESSAGING HER, ALL YOU ARE DOING IS HURTING YOURSELF AND MAKING YOURSELF PATHETIC.

 

5. Put those DVD in a box, on the day she's picking them up. Leave a note on said box "Here are your DVD GL & HF" Go to a pub or coffee shop. Watch the last few remaining games of the world cup. Buy another girl a drink and strike a convo.

 

6. Take the time and find new happiness for yourself

[whatadeer26]

I know how you feel. I am all over the place with emotions. It is comforting to know you are not the only person going through it. It happens daily and we need to just move on. I've tried to just talk to my ex, but she refuses to let me. I wish I could just move away and not worry about ever seeing her again, but we need to be strong. I just want my hurting to go away. I wish I could just forget her and move on.

 

It is going to take time for the both of us and venting on her is a great tool. Talking to friends helps a lot also. They all have probably been through the same thing. You should let your guard down. I actually cried for the first time in about 5 years. It is ok we are all human. It probably won't be the last time we get our hearts broken or we do the breaking. It's life and we need to deal with the sad reality. Both of us will get over her.

[ElToroGrande]

You know I read this and first thought to myself that maybe you should give it time, be her friend and see what happens.

 

Then I thought of what someone i once loved did to me. I think most people have been where you are. The daunting task of dealing with a hurt you never wanted or expected, you never thought would come.

 

Cast aside and easily replaced...something that I admit to you, that I am afraid of. Of meaning so little, that I could be replaced easily and without second thought.

 

Here are the things you need to know and do.

 

1. She doesn't want you, harsh as that is the faster you realize it the better you will be

 

2. She doesn't respect you. There is no one, I don't care who it is that can say it is respectful, in any relationship to have the conversation "Hey X is going to be on vacay with us, isn't that funny, he texted me JUST the other day saying 143, <3, I still wuv joo". To put herself in that, for any reason is wrong. I am sorry it is.

 

3. She is shagging him. Harsh again, but realistically you will do yourself better by ignoring her.

 

4. NO CONTACT...STOP MESSAGING HER, ALL YOU ARE DOING IS HURTING YOURSELF AND MAKING YOURSELF PATHETIC.

 

5. Put those DVD in a box, on the day she's picking them up. Leave a note on said box "Here are your DVD GL & HF" Go to a pub or coffee shop. Watch the last few remaining games of the world cup. Buy another girl a drink and strike a convo.

 

6. Take the time and find new happiness for yourself

 

Thanks man, harsh realities but i suppose i need to come to terms with this. Though i really dont believe she would cheat on me, she really isnt that type of person, i think that maybe she has developed feelings for him and now wants to give it a go but i really dont think she would cheat...that and the fact she knows i would probably kill him both of them! lol.

 

But reading everything you have said its making me wonder why i still feel sadness and want her back?? i should be angry at her for doing this to me! this is the weirdest most lost i have evr felt in my entire life, i honestly thought we would be together forever!

 

I think when she comes for DVD's im just going to act friendly but non emotional. Show her that i can be happy without her and she no longer controls me. Of course try to look my best as well, if she's breaking up with me i just want her to feel some sort of regret and doubt! its the fact she can just cast me aside so easily which makes this hurt so much more!

[ElToroGrande]

I have a question though, is a post holiday breakup a common thing? do like people ever have periods of confusion when they return from holiday and break up only to realise later down the line it was a bad idea? not trying to get my hopes up or anything but its just an extremely weird set of circumstances. I know when i get home from holiday and in holiday mode the people i was with are all that matters, i want to party with them all the time and do stuff...that wears off quickly though and i kinda get the feeling this might be the case. Im not going to wait to find out though, if she wants me she'l come back, if not im DEFINETELY not going to chase as it will effectively push her away even further.

 

Thanks again people, your help has been greatly appreciated.

[jond77]

I have a question though, is a post holiday breakup a common thing? do like people ever have periods of confusion when they return from holiday and break up only to realise later down the line it was a bad idea? not trying to get my hopes up or anything but its just an extremely weird set of circumstances. I know when i get home from holiday and in holiday mode the people i was with are all that matters, i want to party with them all the time and do stuff...that wears off quickly though and i kinda get the feeling this might be the case. Im not going to wait to find out though, if she wants me she'l come back, if not im DEFINETELY not going to chase as it will effectively push her away even further.

 

Thanks again people, your help has been greatly appreciated.

 

I think that this is true. A similar thing happened to me, but my girlfriend went away on a work trip. But yeah the excitement of the new can make people change their minds about the future etc. Still hurts though.

[ElToroGrande]

I think that this is true. A similar thing happened to me, but my girlfriend went away on a work trip. But yeah the excitement of the new can make people change their minds about the future etc. Still hurts though.

 

How did that turn out in the end mate? i just know thats what has happened to her, she's going out with them all thursday, friday and saturday. How can she ever think clearly about what we have/had when she's constantly surrounded by people who have more than likely talked her into this. Awk im just so messed up the now, one minute i think i should just pursue other woman till the sen goes down and then i immediantly pendulum swing back to sadness and regret. I wouldnt wish this upon anyone, even my worse enemy.

[ElToroGrande]

Okay so she calls me 10:30pm, i dont answer then call her back. She's all like 'me and my friend are going to some party, is it ok if we spin by before it and pick up my DVD's?' she's like its ok if you are doing anything (she knows i wasnt doing anything as i play football every wednesday night) I tell her ok i was going to go round to a friends but i had to get washed and stuff so what time would she be up at. She says il text you when i figure out what im doing.

 

Half an hour passes so i text her 'you comin for them tonight or tommorow?' trying to be civil and non petty, this is the first we'v spoke in 4 days. She text back its ok go for your bath just now because im going for my friend then i will come up. Fair enough, i text her 'sure thing give me a bell when your heading up'

 

Not heard from her in two hours now! its obvious she wont be up tonight because well its far too late but why the hell would she do that!? she broke up with me so why would she now start playing mind games!? seriously **** like this winds me up to no end! lol.

 

Maybe im an idiot who cant see whats in front of them but my vision is clouded right now with confusion?? lol

 

Update: just got a text saying 'just realised i dont have your hat its pointless doing two journeys so il come by tommorw afternoon...sorry just i know u want it back xxx'

 

Dont even know wetehr to text back or not, just pretend i never bothered anyways and went to sleep??? cheers for listening people lol.

Edited July 1, 2010 by ElToroGrande