brokendream Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 It's 4 weeks today since the break up and I feel worse than ever. I'm not angry anymore but really sad and depressed. I can't eat, don't want to go out with friends and can't stop thinking about him. He contacted me on friday to send me some stuff so maybe that's what triggered it off. That God for loveshack. Spening the weekend reading through old posts has really helped me. Made me see full NC is the way to go and no good ever comes from contacting them
Meaplus3 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 The early stage of a break up is the hardest part. It's as time goes on that thing's will get better. Your choice to go NC.. will help to move that along. Try to cheer up. Know there is hope for healing and thing's will get better. I'm rooting for ya! Best wishes. Mea:)
Author brokendream Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Thanks Mea. It's seems I'm getting worse before I get better...
BeagleGal Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 BrokenDream: I understand where you are coming from. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago and not only did it blindside me it was WHY he broke up with me. I can understand when a relationship runs its course and both parties agree to a mutual breakup or if its not working out, try to part on good terms as much as possible dep on the situation. In my case, my ex dumped me, got me out of the house in almost a heartbeat despite the fact I had no apt to go to, I find out from a coworker he'd been cheating on me and not only that but the OW ended up getting pregnant and they're now getting married end of July. So I can tell you the last couple of months since I found all this **** out has been extremely difficult and what makes it worse is me obsessing over him. Its horrible. I go over everything prior to our breakup, during, after... it just doesnt stop. It also didnt help that about a month ago, he started contacting me again and I stupidly replied back to some of his texts. I dont really have any advise for you, all I can say is you're not alone. I go on this site and others like it to get support and words of encouragement as otherwise, I know I'll pick up my phone and initiate contact. Its been 10 days NC and its hard. I've thinking for the last week what excuse to use to contact his cheating, lying ass and for what??
Author brokendream Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 That's how I feel beagle, everything is going through my head...like when we first met, the time we spent together, even the plans we had made together. We broke up over his cybersex addiction and I don't think he can stop. Otherwise he wouldn't have let me go. All I can think of are excuses to contact him and see how he is. I'd like to know if he's getting help but I know in my heart that if he decided to get help and change he would contact me. I have to stay NC
BeagleGal Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 (edited) We give these guys too much credit. I mean even after all the hurt and bull**** they've put us through, we're still pining over them. Its pathetic. I'm sorry but it is. If anything, they should be pining over us for f**king up a good thing. Especially in the case of my ex, he knows he's f**ked up but he has to keep the facade that he's this upstanding guy when now everyone knows he's a piece of ****. Trust me, I'm thinking of excuses to and its stupid. Last night I came so very close to texting him, I punched in his # and all and I stopped myself last second. I can't wait for this to finally pass. But remember, we also are in control of how we feel and what we do so we can't entirely blame the situation or them for having "control" over us. In the end, we decide what we will or will not do. Edited June 28, 2010 by BeagleGal
BiAxident Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 It's 4 weeks today since the break up and I feel worse than ever. I'm not angry anymore but really sad and depressed. I can't eat, don't want to go out with friends and can't stop thinking about him. While I'm terribly sorry to hear about your situation, congratulations on reaching the one month point! It should all be downhill from here! I can certainly understand being sad, depressed, obsessed, and not feeling the desire to eat. However, I think you really should at least try to peel yourself up off the floor/couch/bed and spend time with your friends. Friends, family, and Loveshack are your resources to vent and receive encouragement. Your friends likely want to help you deal with this. If you simply dont want to go "out", perhaps you can invite them over for a movie/boardgame night? Or try to set up something similar at one of their houses if you simply dont want to go out in public. Above all else, keep posting, and try to stay positive! You may suffer another setback, and another, and another after that, but life goes on. There are hundreds of stories on this site from which you may be able to gain perspective. If nothing else, it should keep you busy.
Author brokendream Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 Thanks for the advice. I was kind of avoiding my friends because I couldn't tell them the truth about what happened and they are all very fond of my ex. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone beyond our parents...cybersex addiction is not something everyone is going to understand and I don’t think it’s fair to be telling people other than family. What I think is bothering me most is that I want to know if he is getting help for this addiction. After researching it on the internet I found that it's a serious problem that can really **** up your life badly especially if you've been addicted for years. It can also take years to recover from and there are a lot of ups and downs. Now this really puts me off getting involved with him again...even as a friend. But at the same time I care about him. I know he can't stop this on his own. I relate to him in a way because I was bulimic for years, which is basically another form of addiction. I would have pushed away anyone who discovered my secret. I need to get out now and stop moping. I've planned to meet one of my friends for coffee later this evening. I'm not looking forward to talking about the break up at all. No one knows I'm going through this. Outwardly I appear fine and look like I'm moving on but I feel like I'm just going through the motions every day. Thanks again to everyone for the advice here. I don't know what I would have done without loveshack. Something stupid no doubt!
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