IceIceBaby Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 So earlier this week I created a thread about a guy I met online, went to dinner/drinks with and how he asked if I wanted to contribute to the bill. After friends and family telling me this was a bad sign that he didn't treat and mixed responses here, I decided I still wanted to try a second date. So he took control on the second date and came up with the idea that we should go to a baseball game. So he bought the tickets and is telling me about the seats over IM and proceeds to tell me that they were pretty expensive. I start to feel bad and ask him if he would like any money for them. I'm sure some of you will say this was a stupid move on my part, but I guess that was just my manners kicking in. So when I offer he says "I could be generous and say you don't owe me a thing, but something tells me you wouldn't want it to be that way." So I say it's up to him and he says he'll cover the tickets. So now I'm curious and ask him what makes him think I wouldn't want him to pay for the tickets. He says that I seem like a girl who has worked hard for what I have gotten in life and seeing that it's only our second date he thought I would want to at least pay for my ticket. But that he's trying to be a nice and romantic guy by doing this. Now I just feel even weirder than I did before. Why is he telling me all of this? I certainly don't think I give off a vibe that says I never want to be treated to a dinner hahaha. Is this weird or is it just me?
JohnnyDrama Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Never met the guy obviously but he sounds weird and if anything a master of spin.
Jilly Bean Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I hate to say it, because you sound very sweet, but girls like you just beg to be crapped on by guys. He was a tool on the first date, an even bigger dick on the second, and I'm sure he'll be horrendous on the third. Have fun.
Engadget Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Wait, what? The reasoning for why the guy did what he did is right there, and there's nothing mean about it.
Author IceIceBaby Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 I hate to say it, because you sound very sweet, but girls like you just beg to be crapped on by guys. He was a tool on the first date, an even bigger dick on the second, and I'm sure he'll be horrendous on the third. Have fun. I'm actually not that sweet, I just think my manners get in the way. Sometimes I think I need to be b*itchier or more demanding at the beginning of relationships.
skydiveaddict Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 IceBaby; if a guy asks you out, he should pay for you. Simple as that
Author IceIceBaby Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 IceBaby; if a guy asks you out, he should pay for you. Simple as that So what about if he is paying but only after saying what he said to me? In your opinion, should he have flat out turned down my offer to pay?
Engadget Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 So what about if he is paying but only after saying what he said to me? In your opinion, should he have flat out turned down my offer to pay? He's going to say yes, but perhaps he's been on dates with women who got offended by it, or made themselves pay. Sounds to me like he's a little awkward, and mentioning how expensive they were was a bad move. However everything they're saying is a bit overboard and nutty if you ask me.
Jilly Bean Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I'm actually not that sweet, I just think my manners get in the way. Sometimes I think I need to be b*itchier or more demanding at the beginning of relationships. No, you just need to have boundaries of being treated like a lady. This guys a cheap ass loser. You don't have to be bitchy or demanding. When he didn't pay on date one, you should have at that point cut off all communication.
skydiveaddict Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 So what about if he is paying but only after saying what he said to me? In your opinion, should he have flat out turned down my offer to pay? Yes he should have turned it down. A gentleman will always pay for his date, period. This guy is a cheapass
Art_Critic Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 He was a tool on the first date, an even bigger dick on the second, and I'm sure he'll be horrendous on the third. I'm going with JB... He picks the ball game but COMPLAINS/WHINES the tickets were expensive.. WTF ? It's an eff'ng baseball game fer cripes sakes.. If he is bitching about money this early then it will no doubt be in the forefront the entire time you date him.. The guy is a chump... Always make sure you have money/credit card/phone in your purse when you date this guy as he sounds like the type that might leave you sitting somewhere over the check and some misunderstanding over who pays.
Engadget Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Remember people, you get one side of the story here. "He proceeds to tell me they were pretty expensive" could have been "damn i can't believe how much a game costs now!" which is a completely innocent comment. So stop frothing at the mouth, yeesh. It's like a witch hunt.
Art_Critic Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Yes he should have turned it down. A gentleman will always pay for his date, period. This guy is a cheapass SkyDive has it right....
Author IceIceBaby Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 I don't think he's a mean guy and the comment about the cost didn't really seem too whiny. More than anything, this is all just coming off as really awkward to me.
aerogurl87 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I stand by my first assessment, he's a cheapskate. I mean really, who buys tickets and then complains to the person they're supposed to be trying to impress that they were really expensive? That's just plain tacky, once again. But hey it'll only get worse as time wears on so if you two continue to date, have fun.
Engadget Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I don't think he's a mean guy and the comment about the cost didn't really seem too whiny. More than anything, this is all just coming off as really awkward to me. Exactly, it's awkward. He even said he thought you were the type of girl that might be into paying her way, so he has a reason in his mind to do what he did. The LS witch hunt does this though and jumps on things and tears them apart. Go with your feelings on the guy, if it bothers you...don't see him. Simple.
Author IceIceBaby Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 OK that's the second person who told me "have fun." LOL I'm not marrying the guy and clearly I'm doubting the second date. Just putting my feelers out here. So he just texted me saying he's sorry if he upset me and if I want to pay for my own ticket, I can. He just thought it would be a nice gesture. This guy is reading me all wrong. I don't even know what to write back.
Art_Critic Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 In all my years of dating I have never once ever mentioned the cost of a date or tickets.. I also have always paid, even if the date was suckass and there wasn't going to be another.. I would also mention that in all my years of dating I also have never once asked a woman to pay half, there have been many (most) that have offered to pay and that is really great when that happens but I consider myself too much of a gentleman to not properly court a woman.
skydiveaddict Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I don't think he's a mean guy and the comment about the cost didn't really seem too whiny. More than anything, this is all just coming off as really awkward to me. It's coming off awkward to because it is. I would never think of asking a girl to pay
Engadget Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 OK that's the second person who told me "have fun." LOL I'm not marrying the guy and clearly I'm doubting the second date. Just putting my feelers out here. So he just texted me saying he's sorry if he upset me and if I want to pay for my own ticket, I can. He just thought it would be a nice gesture. This guy is reading me all wrong. I don't even know what to write back. Yeah that's awkward, probably shouldn't see him. If he thought you were upset about asking if you wanted to pay that's one thing, but I don't think he has bad intentions.
newdawn Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Generosity of spirit and grace of speech are missing here. Both dates involved issues with money on his part. It's not that money is all important, hence it should not be a focal point, especially this early. I would move on...
Blade Runner Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Yikes. Just tell him straight up what the problem is. If you don't, what's the point of even keeping on with this? Sounds to me like either a) this guy is just clueless b)he's nuts or c) maybe he actually came from a relationship where the woman was totally insistant on paying. It doesn't sound like he's deliberately trying to be a dick about it. So he just texted me saying he's sorry if he upset me and if I want to pay for my own ticket, I can. He just thought it would be a nice gesture[/Quote] So he's either had a bad experience before or just can't read the situation/doesn't know what to do. Just tell him you think it's a really nice gesture to pay and that you didn't want to pay for your own ticket. You obviously need to be super clear with this guy.
Diezel Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I told you to measure the second date. He failed. I've took my g/f to Knicks' games and NEVER ever brought up the money and this guy by the second date is already giving you financial headaches? The most romantic guy is the one who doesn't need to remind you that he is being romantic. Ditch the loser.
Author IceIceBaby Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Well he did tell me that his ex g/f wanted to be a trophy wife and not work or do anything. So perhaps he has some issues from that? Maybe he really wants me to be the type of girl who always wants to pay her own way since his ex was not that way. Now bring me in where my ex didn't pay for anything, sometimes not even himself! Maybe not such a good mix.
aerogurl87 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I'm seeing sirens go off here IceIceBaby. Who brings up something like that coupled with the fact that "you seem like you would like to pay for your ticket" and the fact that the tickets were expensive? Drop this guy and move on, I wouldn't even go for a second date. Guys ask their friends to pay when they hang out, not their potential girlfriends.
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