evolove Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 A little context: I've dated a few guys, but the current (5 months) is my first serious relationship. We were crushes in middle school, never dated, I moved away for a decade, I came back last year, he called me, and we started dating after a month. Our first conflict involved him cancelling our plans via text message. I'm not into virtual boyfriends--I want a real person in my life. He apologized, promised to call me for important stuff like that, and I forgave him. Why I'm upset now: I've been having a rough time at a new job for 2 weeks and am feeling really low. He was supposed to pick me up Saturday night, so I called him at 7pm and got no answer. At 8, he called back and told me he had been playing video games and got sucked in. He said he would leave and pick me up by 9. At 10, I called, wondering where the hell he was...no answer. 10 minutes later, he calls back, apologizing that he was still playing the video game and lost track of time. I told him I was going to bed. The next morning, he tries to call at 7:30am, and I ignore it. 8am, he texts me and I ignore him. At 8:30am, he calls and I answer. He apologizes about the night and tells me he's down the street at the park and wants to see me to apologize in person. I ask him what's the point but consent to him coming over. We sit around, he apologizes, and we sit around some more. He asks me if I'd like to go anywhere...no. He tries to kiss me...I tell him I don't want to touch him. He asks me what I want to do for the day...I don't know. I tell him I can't be second to a video game and that he should spend the day with his boyfriend. He apologizes again and spends the rest of the day sitting around in silence. Leaves after lunch, saying he wants to take me out to supper on Wednesday. It hurt me so bad on Saturday night, so I laid in bed crying, wondering how my boyfriend could make me feel so low. I spent all day Saturday thinking about him, and he forgot me for a video game for 3 or more hours. I realized, having moved here recently, I don't have any best girlfriends within driving distance to turn to during times like these. Should I continue to date him and risk feeling this hurt without close friends nearby, or go solo again?
alyssatranswarrior Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Your title is misleading. But I'd like to know other than this time on saturday - does he make you happy? is he affectionate other than in times of wanting sex? Do you NEED that kind of guy? If so, hes not for you if he wants to play video games instead of spend time with you. But you did act cold to him, VERY cold when he apologized twice and called early in the morning without you prompting him to. Doesn't seem like any "*******" I ever heard of (who would likely not call at all and think you are stupid). He seemed to realize he ****ed up, and apologized twice the very next day after phoning you and initiating an in person encounter. You have to ask yourself, do you want an overly attentive boyfriend who borders on being a pussy whipped doormat, or do you want someone who is apologetic when he fails at being attentive 100% of the time. Overall, I'm sorry that you feel alone and that does suck I admitt.
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