Lucky555 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Well here i am again. Just give me some sound advise please! I am never the best at thinking through things particularly with my own drama. Started a relationship in jan which I ended at the end of two months since he "was busy" after that second month to even see me. Never called, never took me on dates like to dinners or dancing or anything!! I did see if he would make time to go to a "special place" i wanted to visit with him. NOPE, he told me straight out he didn't want to. otherwise my interests were not important. I took busy as a sign of losing interest along with the other factors. I left and he didn't seem too upset. He also had told me he was aware he was not too committed or involved in my life. I decided to stop talking to him but somehow we connected again after i had said that him being too busy was not the case. i told him if he really wanted to be with me he would have made time. So he said that we will figure it out. We agreed that we would see each other again. He and I had continued our great conversations but i noticed they were only ONLINE conversations. I was still getting the vibe he was "stringing me along" because we had not made plans but i let him know that he should tell me which days he had available so we could make arrangements. Well soon i saw via fb that his ex gf had posted on his account that she was going out to dinner with him. This indicated he didn't tell me that he was meeting up with her, she was in his place, and on his computer, then they were going to dinner??? I was so mad. I refused to talk to him. He had told me before that he rarely spoke with her. Ok so why is this happening??? The guy then calls my friend. tells the friend the story. the friend said that what he did was wrong. but the guy rationalized it by saying we were "broken up" and i had stopped talking to him for a month. Actually we had been communicating for quite awhile. so then he loses a loved one and I send him a message giving him my regards. I know he was very upset and of course i still cared. A month went by and now he is talking to me again. My friend said that he is not interested in his ex gf. (Why did he go to dinner with her and had not asked me out when we had not seen each other for a couple months??) Something seems wrong there. My friend says he is interested in me. I find this hard to believe because of the crap that had gone on since the beginning of this year!!! I have not initiated contact but i have talked with him. I was seeing what he was going to say. Was he going to apologize? Make time for me now???!! Did he realize that his feelings were very strong and he didn't want to lose me?? Well he has not said anything except casual stuff. I just brushed off his first convo, but then at my work place a couple of his family members come in and i am assisting them. They knew who i was but i had never been introduced to them by the guy. The guy did not know where i worked but i think he found out through our mutual friend. His mom just looked at me with sad eyes and kinda smiled and nodded. I did not say anything except assist them. I didn't think it was the right time to discuss anything. Then a couple days later the guy contacts me and leaves hints about working and i got the hints that he knew where i worked and that his family was there. I was really emotional when i saw his family. I was shooken up for a couple days. I didn't think he would talk to me again but he did and again i am emotionally disturbed. Our mutual friend thinks he and I should be back together. The break up was only because we didn't have the same days off to spend time together. (this was the ex's words not mine). Now i have known the my ex for quite awhile. I think he freaked out when he felt that he was in a committed relationship with me. WHICH HE WAS. He was hurt badly in the past. However, I have too but I was willing to take a chance. I guess I put up with a lot because i understand how scary it is to try to become emotionally close to someone else when you have been hurt in the past. Now i really have thought a lot about what has happened throughout these past months. This guy makes me laugh and smile like no other guy. But i realize how much he has hurt me so far. Also the fact that our friend kept talking to me about how this guy wants to be with me...but I find it hard to believe when he just became "too busy." Also the fact he met up with an ex gf really was not impressive and truly broke my heart since at that time he was trying to "rekindle" things with me. so now the only way to stop him from breaking my heart is to cut him out of my life. I really don't want to hurt again. I don't understand why he is contacting me as if NOTHING happened!! It seems like he is testing the waters to see where he stands. It seems like i have been hearing about his interest from out mutual friend and not directly from him! UGh. I am fine with my life. I really am happy. I just get emotionally disturbed because its like there are wounds that are healing.
Green Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Cutting people out of your life who need to be cut out and TIME will heal those wounds.
Author Lucky555 Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Cutting people out of your life who need to be cut out and TIME will heal those wounds. Ya very true. I have been thinking a lot about it because I know he is contacting me because he wants me. However the same issues would be there this guy had his chance and chose to blow it. I dated him in the past and he had committment issues now this time he claimed he was with me but he did not invest himself. plus the whole baggage stuff. I have closure because I told myself if he didn't step it up this time then that was it. So glad I took a chance to find out though. I have no regrets. I know the best thing is to cut him out of my life because he is manipulative as I found out. I can't have him in and out of my life. I know he is going to be upset with me and I will hear it from our mutual friend but really this guy was not meeting my needs and I have already wasted too much time. Thanks for your post I already feel better. I just get sucked back into the drama.
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