i want him back :'(

[schoolgirlb]

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months. We had a great relationship (so far). We did everything together and spent all our time together. He fell in love first and I followed soon after, we've been exclusive since day one. It all fell apart last week though. He went down to his married couple friends shore house at 8pm on sat., he and I were supposed to hang out that night so I was pissed and told him not to bother calling me back that night and he didnt. I didnt hear from him again until 9pm sun night but at that point I had already decided it was over. I ignored his calls until wed afternoon,He had called me over 60 times at that point. He begged for a second chance and swore the only reason he didnt call all night was bedause I told him not to, I still found it suspicious but I love him so I took him back. On thurs I went to a local bar w/my girls and because I was still mad I gave my number out to several guys, very immature but in a way it made me feel like my bf and I were even. I have zero interest in the men I gave my # to. Well that night I slept over my bf's house and at around 3 am one of the guys started drunk dialing me like crazy, needless to say my bf was livid. I tried to explain to him that it was nithing but I was also very non chalant about it and basically told him oh well get over it. I felt justified for acting like this because of the whole beachouse disappearance. We spiraled out of control from there because on friday he decided he was going out with his friends yet again, this time to a party in philly, I freaked out and told him that if he went to this party it was over b/c we still hadnt fully recovered from the beachhouse and me giving my number out. We argued and he went out anyway, i ended up out with my gf's and he called me the entire time, to check up on me. I went back to his house friday night after going out b/c he and I were supposed to spend the rest of the wknd together. He was on his way to his house to meet me and totaled his car drunk driving. He survived without a scrtch and swore he wasnt going out ever again. Saturday rolled around and we were still on rocky ground but we spent a nice afternoon together just hanging out and in the evening we ordered a movie. We were snuggling on the couch and it was about 7pm when he dozed off.I tried to wake him to go to sleep in his bed but he muttered something about not wanting to sleep the night away. I right away accused him of wanting to go out yet again despite the problems it was causing in our relationship and despite almost killing himself and I was furious. I made him take me home and told him this time I was done for good, I meant it too. I live half an hour away from him and the entire ride I gace him the cold shoulder despite him trying to talk things out with me. When we got tomy house he lingered around and was tryin\g to talk to me and kiss and hug me but I told him there was nothing to talk about and heleft. I called himlater when I cooled down and he told me he had no intentions of going out but that I had been acting so strange and clingy the past few days he only said yes he was going out to see what type of reaction I would give and he said I acted beyond crazy and failed his test.Nevertheless he didnt want to break up and he loves me, I agreed and we stayed together, when we hung up he said he would call me later and never did. At this point I was drained and fed up. I sent him 3 long winded txts basically telling him how he was breaking my heart, and treating me like crap, I called himseveral names, cussed him out and said some mean really mean things in these txts. He called me first thing in the morning and begged to stay together but this time I refuse and I told him not to call or txt me anymore because the situation was out of control, he begged and argued and even got mad but I didnt back down.He txted me anyway though that night talling me goodnight and that he loved me, I txtd him goodnight i love you too. The next day he was at work and even though he usually calls and txts all throughout the day he didnt contact me at all until he got off. I still care about him so I answered and he just started talkin to me as if nothing was going on, basically shooting the sh*t..I started to augh and talk and get sucked into the convo but then I realized wut I was doing and told him we had to stop because it felt fake and nothing was resolved. He became really offended and got off the phone. I cried the rest of the day because I knew we were on the rocks, I didnt want to take a breaak but I felt it was the only way and that I had to stick to it in order for us to go forward in the future, I called him one last time monday evening to tell himthat I was serious about the break, I spoke to him calm and rationallyand I took my part of the blame for this mess and he took his.He told me that he finally agrees and that he loves and misses me and thought of me all day, he told me that he still wanted to hear from me and see me but he didnt just want some booty call connection. I agreed and reciprocated everything he said and he asked if he could call me that night before he went to bed, I told him yes and he never called. I havent hears from him since and now it's been 6 days of agonizing, heart wrenching torture. I see now that we were both acting immaturely and I want him back but I cant even bring myself to call him. I'm so scared that he has moved on already because he hasnt tried contacting me once and all my friends say that if he cared he'd call....How long should I wait for him to vcome around or should I be proactiv and call him first? How do I handle thi, It was all a bunch of petty nonsense caused by jumping in headfirst too fast, I know I want a relationship with him but I also know we need to reach a happy medium, But first I have to get him back..WHAT DO I DO???