schoolgirlb Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 We were together 3 mos. We fell in love. We spent every minute of our spare time together. Our friends and fam loved us together and we loved being together, He asked me to be his girlfriend and I reluctantly agreed, he told me he loved me and I recently just told him i love him too, but just a week ago he began wanting to spend more time with his friends, and I became clingy.I dont like his friends because 2 out of 4 of them have girlfriends they cheat on and I dont want them influencing my man. Long story short, I gave him an ultimatum of me or his friends, he begged and pleaded to keep both but I denied him. I broke it off and sent 3 very long winded mean txt msgs the same night, the next morning he called and we reconciled, as in apologizing and admitting we're both wrong and that we both love and cAre fore eachother but we agreed to remain seperated so we could figure out if this is what we really want. I havent heard from him since, it's been 6 days. He used to call & text me several times a day and was usually the one initiating contact.I want him back but I'm afraid my freakish clingy display might have turned him all the way off. I'm also scared to call him because even though I wanted a break and he reluctantly agreed to it, I'm worried the reason he's not contacting me is because he doesnt want me at all anymore...If he still wants space with nc I would be willing to give it to him but I just need reassurance that he still lovces me and is still considering us in the future...I'm so depressed I don't know what to do :'( any suggestions or experiences anyone has had like this would really help..thanks
HopeLove Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Hi, I think you should first know if you really want him to decide between you or his friends. This is unfair from your side. If you both love eachother you shouldn't be afraid he'll cheat on you. If you can live with this, contact him and said you really love him and therefore you'll accept he keeps his friends and explain to him the reason why you don't like his friends but that you accept he still meet then. You don't have to meet them too.
Author schoolgirlb Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 I'm actually willing to do just that but I'm afraid that since he hasnt tried contacting me at all, that he is probably over me...Today is day 7 of no contact...From day one he was the pursuer in the relationship almost always initiating contact so I think he may be trying to tell me something by no calls and no text, like, basically he's over me Or maybe he's just hurt that I insisted on ending this and is giving me the space I requested so that he wont make a fool of himself..I'm so confused and hurt...PLEASE HELP!!
spyyder Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I can understand what you did, and can understand him too. Theres a reason why people judge you by your friends - it's because your friends are like you through influence. As a guy I would go totally crazy if one of my girlfriend's friends was cheating on their bf as I would also think that they would influence my girl. Most guys (and probably girls too) would consider cheating if their friends were already cheating....actually it might turn into a situation were your bf might be considered a loser if he was the only one not cheating - horrible society & culture we live in these days right? To be honest you were only together for 3 months. Its not long enough for most, and ONLY the hopeless romantic type of person would choose a 3-month-old lover over friends. Since you made him decide I'm guessing your that type, but since he chose his friends he's obviously not a hopeless romantic like you. My example: When I was going out with my gf for about 2-3 months I noticed that her best friend started to turn into a bit of a skank (practically let every guy have a go at her), so like you I was worried that she might influence my perfect girl. I didn't want my gf being friends with her best friend, but I knew that we weren't together long enough for me to be able to make sure that she'd choose me. After being 6 months together I told my gf how I felt about her best friend and then I made my gf choose - she chose me. We spent most of our time alone together anyway so I already knew she'd pick me. Later on I felt bad so I said that she can still be friends with her but I'd keep a close eye and I felt better as me and my gf became best friends and her old best friend was someone she only saw about twice a week or so. We did break up for a few weeks and during that time she did get close to her friend, but I'm lucky because since we got back together they aren't so close anymore. I think it was a really bad decision to make him choose so early. You should have waited many more months. Actually because your tackling 4 friends (and not just 1) I would have waited a year. He'll only pick you if he thinks that there's a good chance he'll be with you for a very long time if not forever, otherwise why would he pick you? Try to get back with him and say everything is ok. Then make him choose AGAIN in about a years time if you make it that long. gl.
Author schoolgirlb Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 lol!! thanks!! It's not really funny but it Sounds like such common sense idk why I wasnt thinking like that to begin with..Do you have any suggestions on how I should reach out to him though?? Should I act serious, casual should it be a call, in person, or text?? I believe that he loves me but I'm worried his whore friends may have already gotten there hooks into him..I know they suppport this break up 100% so I can only imagine what their telling him or what their promoting him to do...time is of the essence, i'm sure...any suggestions on how to approach him would be greatly appreciated..thanks!!
spyyder Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 I understand. When my gf and I were apart, her slutty friend did say all kinds of horrible things, not actually about me, but about being in a relationship (e.g. you can't do anything you want, your not free, etc) - how stupid is that right? This is definitely one of the reasons why it was so hard for me to get her back. What worked for me (to undo what her friend said) was when I told her if she wanted to end up like her friend as she's taking her advice - someone that is always crying over a guy that doesn't like her back, unhappy that only crappy guys are into her, lives in a **** house because her dad left her cheating mom and is pretty much just a cum bucket. However it only worked for me because my gf knows she would have a great future with me, and her friend has a horrible life so isn't someone to take advice from. I'm not so sure if he'll see the same with you, and I'm not sure if his friends have lives bad enough to consider their advice useless. Heck its possible that they are really happy, cheating on their gfs and everything. Your right, although I don't know any of you I'm sure that his friends are saying things that'll make it harder for you to get him back. I'd imagine they'd say stuff to help him get over you, help him think that there are many fish in the sea and that getting latched on 1 girl is stupid. They will say bad stuff about you. If he really likes you he'll be offended, if not then he'll take it in and start thinking bad things about you and you might not have a chance tbh. Not sure how you should try to get him back, but take what I've said above in mind. Also what ever you do, DONT CALL OR TEXT, see him in person when he's alone.
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