dmb05 Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Hey everyone. The last week or so, my girlfriend and I have had some problems. We've been together for 2 months. I love her to death, and she says she does me too. She has had a very hard time letting go of her past. She was in a relationship with a guy that treated her like utter crap, lied to her, cheated on her, and used her. It really messed her up, but she has been doing fine. She ran into this guy last week, and it apparently brought all of those bad thoughts back. She then said she couldn't be in a relationship right now because she wasn't giving me what I needed. She wanted to break up, so we did. 2 hours later, she calls me crying saying she can't do this. She has to have me in her life. She then says she needs time to really think about what she wants and to move on from this. So, I give her all the space she needs. 2 days later she calls asking if I'm okay. I tell her yes, but I hate not talking to her and not being with her like we usually are. She said she hates it too. We met up last night and just had a great conversation. The night ended with her being back to her normal self, and talking to me like she used to do. She told me if I would give her a few more days, she'd have her mind made up for good. I woke up this morning with this text from her: If my decision is for us, just know you'll have everything back from me in full. meaning, if I know what I want for sure, I won't be doing this ever again. I will keep every word I say to you. I just want to be sure because this relationship is different from anything in my past. I just don't want there to be any doubts or regrets for us later on. Please be patient with me.... We've been talking ever since and she's seeming like her normal, sweet girlfriend self. We're technically still "together" as well, just haven't been seeing each other much all week. I'm seeing her in just a little bit like last night. Just having a conversation at our local park. Any advice on what to do, and if it seems likely that we are going to stay together? I love this girl and really don't want to lose her.
GrayClouds Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) The advice I will give may not be the advice you want to hear. As much as you care for this girl, it seems she is a bit addicted to drama and a relationship with her will be filled with it for some time. As long as she is holding on to the past, she is only, at best partially holding on to you. It sounds like she is right she needs some time on her to work through her last realtionship, try to understand why she was in a relationship like that. I suspect she still has feeling for him on top of everything. Understand you can not fix only she can fix herself. I would suggest if you do care for her, tell her you do but she needs to spend some time alone and get herself together, and after she does you would love to see if you two would work. She may be a great girl, but just not great for you right now. If you do tell her that, I suspect is he is the type that has a hard time being alone and will bounce to the next one that come along. That would hurt but it also will tell you that she was not that into you she just did not want to be alone. You deserve someone who is 100% into you, and no matter how much you care for someone else, no matter how cute they are, anything less you have to have the courage to walk away. Good luck. Edited June 29, 2010 by GrayClouds
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