CARL45 Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Well recently I was told by a woman I dated for a while that she saw me as a friend and nothing more. Well when we were dating I would sit with her at work. I stopped doing that and started avoiding her. She avoided me a few times also and didn't talk to me when I was around her. Well when I came into work on Friday she saw me and said "I was wondering where you were" and I said " oh had to come in late today" she goes on to tell me what she had done early in the morning. I responded cold yet respectful manner. I am fine with being friendly, but I am not going to be this woman's girlfriend. I am pursuing another woman(which is going pretty well) and I find this funny that she seems worried because I'm not talking to her and she's not seen me. My question is this normal behavior for a woman to want to espablish contact with a man she put in the friend zone? Or is this simple politeness? I have very little interest in pursuing a relationship with this woman that doesn't want to be involved in one.
carhill Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Of course she wants to talk. The ego gets fed through the mouth
Bangle Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Of course she wants to talk. The ego gets fed through the mouth Plus she sees him as a friend...friends talk, and they talk often.
Jilly Bean Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 She's being polite. She's hoping you're over the rejection, and that you can have a civil and cordial working relationship.
alphamale Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 My question is this normal behavior for a woman to want to espablish contact with a man she put in the friend zone? yes .
carhill Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Well when I came into work on Friday she saw me and said "I was wondering where you were" and I said " oh had to come in late today" she goes on to tell me what she had done early in the morning. This is what delineates the ego feeder from the friend. The friend says 'I was wondering where you were. How did that xxx go and what happened to you and xxx and how's your cat and did you visit your mom?' The ego feeder Hoovers the friendzoned male's time to share the minutiae of her daily life because she *knows* he's attracted to her and has shown that he is a past willing receptacle. OP, resist this. Insist upon proactive and mutual. Any other dynamic is unhealthy for you, contrary to what women will tell you. After all, it is their ego you are feeding. Enjoy
TouchedByViolet Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 This is what delineates the ego feeder from the friend. The friend says 'I was wondering where you were. How did that xxx go and what happened to you and xxx and how's your cat and did you visit your mom?' The ego feeder Hoovers the friendzoned male's time to share the minutiae of her daily life because she *knows* he's attracted to her and has shown that he is a past willing receptacle. OP, resist this. Insist upon proactive and mutual. Any other dynamic is unhealthy for you, contrary to what women will tell you. After all, it is their ego you are feeding. Enjoy Well said. There are many women who like having guys interested in them to make themselves feel better. It's a very selfish thing.
carhill Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 So as not to appear as a generalized negative nellie, the reason I can clearly delineate the difference is because I've enjoyed the friendships of wonderful and loving women in my life and do know how a healthy female friend behaves. That said, attraction can cloud a lot for a male, so sometimes yelling is required, even if it is into the mirror
amerikajin Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 She just wants to make sure that you're okay with the relationship downgrade. You guys work together, so she wants to avoid bad vibes.
carhill Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 OP, try this, assuming that the two of you must 'work together' meaning your jobs require collaboration/sharing/communication: 'I understand we dated for awhile and no longer date. I accept that. We work together and I would like to maintain a polite and professional work-oriented rapport. I hope you understand.' If you don't work 'together', black hole her. The relationship/dating is over. Done. Bye-bye
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