Wowww, I am so stressed out. I think my hair is going to fall out I'm so stressed. :(

[Ophelia Rue]

Anyone reading this, I apologize for the length but (greatly!) appreciate your insight.

 

Right now, I am in my mid-20s and so is my boyfriend of almost two years, Ryan. I live in a one bedroom apartment with my cat. I hate my job of fou of four years, I plan on getting out of there as soon as possible. My supervisors hate me because I'm not a kiss-ass. Ryan IS a kiss-ass and works at the same place. He just got a promotion. He's only been working there for 1.5 years. -_- I don't know if I'm jealous or just fed up with the office politics. Sometimes I just want to jump off the top of the building or in front of a car because of my 40-50 hr per week scenario.

 

So, add that on top of the stress.

 

Ryan has a male "life partner". I kid you not. He has been roommates with the same guy, let's call him Tom, since he was like, 19. Tom is cool. I like him. He's nice to me. He's fun to hang out with.

 

About 6 months ago, Ryan and Tom decided it would be a good idea if we all lived together in a fun little townhouse in a complex where their crazy friends live, or whatever. 6 months ago, it sounded fun.

 

I signed a 6 month lease, so it's coming down on me hard. I've got about 2-3 days to cement this.

 

I am so stressed out about this I want to just give up everything and move to Mexico. I don't want to live with them. I'm afraid for my sanity, I'm afraid for my cat (I know it sounds crazy, but I'm afraid they're going to be mean to my cat), I think Ryan is ALLERGIC to cats, I'm afraid of the crazy friends that will live in the apartment next door, I'm afraid of losing my privacy, I'm afraid of what will happen to me and if I'm going to get bitched at if I leave a dirty dish on the coffee table. (They are clean, I am really not all that clean.) I am afraid of walking on eggshells.

 

So, as I was thinking about how to deal with this, I was in Ryan's room, and I saw the townhouse "packet" on his desk, I looked inside and I saw a receipt for 350 dollars. He had already PAID THE EFFING SECURITY DEPOSIT.

 

I really love him a ton and I don't want to lose him. I have so much fun with him and if it was just him and I moving in together, I think I would be OK. But TWO GUYS? Oh man. I don't think I can do this, guys. I don't think I can.

 

I'm in my mid-20s. I know I'm supposed to be all marriage-minded or whatever, but I can't even think about that crap. It would be one thing if I was a career woman but I can't even stand my job, it's even worse with Ryan ABOVE me at the same place. I'm afraid he's going to dump me if I tell him I don't want to live with him and Tom but I just can't do it.

 

Any advice? Anything?! Clearly I have some issues.

 

Love

Ophelia

[Jilly Bean]

Define "life partner".

 

Are they friends? Or lovers?

 

If they are friends, asking you to move in with them means Ryan has no plans to make a commitment to you in the near future.

 

And if they are lovers, then Ryan has no plans to make a commitment to you EVER.

 

I'd move on, hon. Sounds like a lot of drama, and not a very pleasant situation for you.

[Ophelia Rue]

Oh they are friends. I call them "life partners" jokingly because they are joined at the hip.