Gallaxia Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 WTH? I don’t know what’s going on I was at the grocery store today minding my own business and I noticed the produce guy started getting loud. I tried to ignore it at first but then I realized he may have been talking about me to one of his coworkers across the way. I kept going and a few minutes later, another dude, who I’ve never seen before, cuts thru a closed cashier stand to walk past me and ask if I’ve seen his neighbor. WTH? Dude! I don’t know you! I was a little startled and told him nooo?! (and started thinking back- should I know you?) and he asked my name and if I was single because he was too. Luckily I had popsicles in my cart, so I told him I had to go before they melted. Then I ran into someone I went to high school with and we do a quick like 2 minute catch up. We never hung out back then, we ran in totally different circles –his I didn’t appreciate (for valid several reasons) so I wasn’t too interested in catching up further with him. Now ordinarily I don’t often get approached. I have been reassured that I am attractive but I don’t know, typically something makes guys a bit skiddish in terms of approaching me. That didn’t seem to be a problem at the store though. And I’m not sure why? I haven’t changed anything about 'me'- I was in just jeans & a tee shirt, ponytail, no makeup, flip flops. So I’m trying to figure out what if could have been so I can make the most of future opportunities. What makes one approachable one day and totally unapproachable the next? Or do you chalk it up to the stars just being aligned all funky?
xRJ85x Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Luck. One day you may get weird looks from everybody, another you may have the opposite sex drooling over you. Just depends on who you run into. I've had the same situation as a guy who's been told he's very good looking, one day I've had my confidence punted off a cliff by girls giving me the "What the hell are you looking at?" glare even though I just happened to lock eyes with them, while others I've had girls look at me like I was just voted "World's Hottest Guy." hahaha Not to sound that extreme but just to give an analogy. A tip would be to ask guys (and girls too) that you know if you look better in one style (clothes and makeup or no makeup, some guys prefer girls who are very natural looking to wear no makeup).
Author Gallaxia Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 Yeah I suppose. But is it still luck if it's people you're not interested in? It's never the ones that catch my eye!
Ophelia Rue Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Yeah, weird huh? That happens to me too. For instance, on Thursday night, my hot sister and I were both looking smoking (I'm talking an hour and a half prepping in front of the mirror) and no one bought us a single drink at the bar...lol. Then, yesterday, I was at the beach in the morning, I thought I looked like crap because I didn't reapply my makeup and my hair was frizzy and I was wearing stupid beach clothes, and I just got bombarded with male attention at the mall afterward. Maybe they sense cockiness. o_O My sister and I were definitely a little cocky on Thursday. LOL.
carhill Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 OP, the interesting psychological aspect here is that you remembered these guys and posted a thread about them. That respectful guy, pushing his cart around and minding his own business, not thinking lewd thoughts or 'talking about you', would not even appear on your radar screen, much less be remembered or talked about. What does that feel like, to be approached by someone who might like you in a grocery store? I've probably put six figures worth of stuff in my cart over the last 30 years (yeah, I even shopped during my marriage) and never have experienced that. Guess I'm lucky, right? Simply put, it's a numbers game. Those guys in the store are building their numbers. They have no clue whether you like them or not. They don't give any importance to whether you do or not, in that dynamic. They know for certain that you will never notice them if they mind their own business. That's what it's like to be male. Enjoy As to 'why', chalk it up to random colliding with random humans. Just like outer space, with the stars.
Serenitynow Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 my hot sister and I were both looking smoking (I'm talking an hour and a half prepping in front of the mirror) and no one bought us a single drink at the bar Thats the problem right there with women. You EXPECT to be hit on when you think you have spent all this time on fixing yourself up. Instead you get noticed when you arent all done up. What does that teach you ? Women will never learn that they dont have to spend 1.5 hours fixing themselves up . The only reason you do that is to raise your self esteem. It has nothing to do with guys. This also shows how women have set "time frames" of when they beleive they should be hit on. Both of you made mention of how you dont expect to be hit on when you are a place A, but expect it at place B. Stop thinking like that. You need to OPEN your eyes, and learn that anywhere you go is an oppurtunity, not just when you have your face paint on
Author Gallaxia Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 OP, the interesting psychological aspect here is that you remembered these guys and posted a thread about them. That respectful guy, pushing his cart around and minding his own business, not thinking lewd thoughts or 'talking about you', would not even appear on your radar screen, much less be remembered or talked about. What does that feel like, to be approached by someone who might like you in a grocery store? I've probably put six figures worth of stuff in my cart over the last 30 years (yeah, I even shopped during my marriage) and never have experienced that. Guess I'm lucky, right? Simply put, it's a numbers game. Those guys in the store are building their numbers. They have no clue whether you like them or not. They don't give any importance to whether you do or not, in that dynamic. They know for certain that you will never notice them if they mind their own business. That's what it's like to be male. Enjoy As to 'why', chalk it up to random colliding with random humans. Just like outer space, with the stars. It certainly is a numbers game! But IF 'they don't give any importance to whether you do or not, in that dynamic. They know for certain that you will never notice them if they mind their own business.' How would I know to take them seriously enough to encourage the convo further? Yeah, weird huh? Maybe they sense cockiness. o_O My sister and I were definitely a little cocky on Thursday. LOL. Hopefully that wasn't conveyed in the opening post but I'm not cocky but rather laid back. Thats the problem right there with women. You EXPECT to be hit on when you think you have spent all this time on fixing yourself up. Instead you get noticed when you arent all done up. What does that teach you ? Women will never learn that they dont have to spend 1.5 hours fixing themselves up . The only reason you do that is to raise your self esteem. It has nothing to do with guys. This also shows how women have set "time frames" of when they beleive they should be hit on. Both of you made mention of how you dont expect to be hit on when you are a place A, but expect it at place B. Stop thinking like that. You need to OPEN your eyes, and learn that anywhere you go is an oppurtunity, not just when you have your face paint on I wish you wouldn't generalize. I never spend a lot of time getting fixed up. In fact my showers take longer than anything else . Seriously. Maybe i'm in the minority. And I use minimal makeup, to where it looks natural. So I'm not sure that's it either. I wasn't expecting to be hit on at all...kinda the whole point of the post! I was more so just surprised by the unusual events and wondered why some days and not others?
carhill Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 How would I know to take them seriously enough to encourage the convo further? Good question. Really, only you know the answer. The key, for the male, is getting noticed. These guys were successful in getting noticed by you. Next time, pay attention (this means 'notice', though not overtly) to the guys who are friendly, smile, but are not obvious with gestures, language or behavior. Note the difference (or not) in how you *feel*. I think that's instructive. It's learning what 'works' for you, which is as unique as you are. Personally, I tend to key in on a woman's aura. I can literally feel it and am very rarely wrong. Body language, mannerisms, intonation. It's all important. If these events seem confusing or bother you, perhaps some self-examination is in order. Remember though, every interaction is a random event and all parties bring the unique psychology of the moment to it. No two are alike, even with the same people, IMO. Boy, could I share some doozies BTW, being 'hit on' has nothing to do with you IMO. You could've been any female within the range of the male's attractiveness scale. Remember, he doesn't know you from Eve. He just wants to interact with a female in a sexual way. Enjoy
Serenitynow Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 (edited) Remember, he doesn't know you from Eve. He just wants to interact with a female in a sexual way I could care less about sex at this point. I just want a freakin date. . Edited June 28, 2010 by Serenitynow
Author Gallaxia Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 BTW, being 'hit on' has nothing to do with you IMO. You could've been any female within the range of the male's attractiveness scale. Remember, he doesn't know you from Eve. He just wants to interact with a female in a sexual way. Enjoy Insightful. Thanks! I could care less about sex at this point. I just want a freakin date. . Aww, I hear ya!
carhill Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Not me, I wanna my sex! After over a year of celibacy, based on female response on the street, I guess that switch is ON But, I would prefer to date, so watch a supermarket near you....
Choboto Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Yeah I suppose. But is it still luck if it's people you're not interested in? It's never the ones that catch my eye! you may have had a more approachable aura that day. you can sense when ppl are pissed off at the world, or are happy and friendly looking.
Shakz Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 another dude, who I’ve never seen before, cuts thru a closed cashier stand to walk past me and ask if I’ve seen his neighbor. WTH? Dude! I don’t know you! I was a little startled and told him nooo?! (and started thinking back- should I know you?) and he asked my name and if I was single because he was too. Apparently, sometimes men view a woman in her everyday clothes as more approachable than when she's all dolled up because they don't feel like they have to come up with a smooth line.
Green Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Yeah, weird huh? That happens to me too. For instance, on Thursday night, my hot sister and I were both looking smoking (I'm talking an hour and a half prepping in front of the mirror) and no one bought us a single drink at the bar...lol. Then, yesterday, I was at the beach in the morning, I thought I looked like crap because I didn't reapply my makeup and my hair was frizzy and I was wearing stupid beach clothes, and I just got bombarded with male attention at the mall afterward. Maybe they sense cockiness. o_O My sister and I were definitely a little cocky on Thursday. LOL. Maybe you looked HOTTER half naked at the beach. Plus you probably stood out more during the day showing skin... then at night in the MEAT MARKET. You should post pictures I bet Carhil could tell you exactly why you got hit on more in one outfit then the other. WTH? I don’t know what’s going on I was at the grocery store today minding my own business and I noticed the produce guy started getting loud. I tried to ignore it at first but then I realized he may have been talking about me to one of his coworkers across the way. I kept going and a few minutes later, another dude, who I’ve never seen before, cuts thru a closed cashier stand to walk past me and ask if I’ve seen his neighbor. WTH? Dude! I don’t know you! I was a little startled and told him nooo?! (and started thinking back- should I know you?) and he asked my name and if I was single because he was too. Luckily I had popsicles in my cart, so I told him I had to go before they melted. Then I ran into someone I went to high school with and we do a quick like 2 minute catch up. We never hung out back then, we ran in totally different circles –his I didn’t appreciate (for valid several reasons) so I wasn’t too interested in catching up further with him. Now ordinarily I don’t often get approached. I have been reassured that I am attractive but I don’t know, typically something makes guys a bit skiddish in terms of approaching me. That didn’t seem to be a problem at the store though. And I’m not sure why? I haven’t changed anything about 'me'- I was in just jeans & a tee shirt, ponytail, no makeup, flip flops. So I’m trying to figure out what if could have been so I can make the most of future opportunities. What makes one approachable one day and totally unapproachable the next? Or do you chalk it up to the stars just being aligned all funky? Maybe you were ovulating and the egg really wanted to get fertilized... They say men can subconsiously sense that. I wasn't expecting to be hit on at all...kinda the whole point of the post! I was more so just surprised by the unusual events and wondered why some days and not others? If you're not fat and under a certain age... expect that you MIGHT get hit on anywhere and anytime.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 WTH? I don’t know what’s going on I was at the grocery store today minding my own business and I noticed the produce guy started getting loud. I tried to ignore it at first but then I realized he may have been talking about me to one of his coworkers across the way. I kept going and a few minutes later, another dude, who I’ve never seen before, cuts thru a closed cashier stand to walk past me and ask if I’ve seen his neighbor. WTH? Dude! I don’t know you! I was a little startled and told him nooo?! (and started thinking back- should I know you?) and he asked my name and if I was single because he was too. Luckily I had popsicles in my cart, so I told him I had to go before they melted. Then I ran into someone I went to high school with and we do a quick like 2 minute catch up. We never hung out back then, we ran in totally different circles –his I didn’t appreciate (for valid several reasons) so I wasn’t too interested in catching up further with him. Now ordinarily I don’t often get approached. I have been reassured that I am attractive but I don’t know, typically something makes guys a bit skiddish in terms of approaching me. That didn’t seem to be a problem at the store though. And I’m not sure why? I haven’t changed anything about 'me'- I was in just jeans & a tee shirt, ponytail, no makeup, flip flops. So I’m trying to figure out what if could have been so I can make the most of future opportunities. What makes one approachable one day and totally unapproachable the next? Or do you chalk it up to the stars just being aligned all funky? Sounds like you just had a series of unsettling experiences in short order. That guy that came on to you didn't seem to have any savoir faire(class/style). I'd say if you want to be approached, a smile and a good morning, afternoon or evening should probably make an impression on any man if you're a looker.
Author Gallaxia Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Maybe you were ovulating and the egg really wanted to get fertilized... They say men can subconsiously sense that. Sweet Fancy Moses! I forgot about that fact! Maybe that's it!
Green Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Sweet Fancy Moses! I forgot about that fact! Maybe that's it! If you were they could see it just by looking at ur skin... it would give off a certain glow
Shakz Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 See, there's a rational explanation for everything. Here you were, running around all stinky and not even knowing.
cdubs32 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 WTH? I don’t know what’s going on I was at the grocery store today minding my own business and I noticed the produce guy started getting loud. I tried to ignore it at first but then I realized he may have been talking about me to one of his coworkers across the way. I kept going and a few minutes later, another dude, who I’ve never seen before, cuts thru a closed cashier stand to walk past me and ask if I’ve seen his neighbor. WTH? Dude! I don’t know you! I was a little startled and told him nooo?! (and started thinking back- should I know you?) and he asked my name and if I was single because he was too. Luckily I had popsicles in my cart, so I told him I had to go before they melted. Then I ran into someone I went to high school with and we do a quick like 2 minute catch up. We never hung out back then, we ran in totally different circles –his I didn’t appreciate (for valid several reasons) so I wasn’t too interested in catching up further with him. Now ordinarily I don’t often get approached. I have been reassured that I am attractive but I don’t know, typically something makes guys a bit skiddish in terms of approaching me. That didn’t seem to be a problem at the store though. And I’m not sure why? I haven’t changed anything about 'me'- I was in just jeans & a tee shirt, ponytail, no makeup, flip flops. So I’m trying to figure out what if could have been so I can make the most of future opportunities. What makes one approachable one day and totally unapproachable the next? Or do you chalk it up to the stars just being aligned all funky? I have no idea why anyone would be afraid to approach you with your attitude...
Author Gallaxia Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 See, there's a rational explanation for everything. Here you were, running around all stinky and not even knowing. I have no idea why anyone would be afraid to approach you with your attitude... I figured someone would notice. But realistically, you can't flirt with e-v-e-r-y-body, now can you? There are some people (like I mentioned) who are just crass and start with the whole show & fireworks and immediately you just know there is no way it could work out. And I'm not talking about being shallow i.e. physical features, I'm talking about mannerisms which are a window to one's though process. The "minding my own business" part was purely for story telling purposes...
cdubs32 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I figured someone would notice. But realistically, you can't flirt with e-v-e-r-y-body, now can you? There are some people (like I mentioned) who are just crass and start with the whole show & fireworks and immediately you just know there is no way it could work out. And I'm not talking about being shallow i.e. physical features, I'm talking about mannerisms which are a window to one's though process. The "minding my own business" part was purely for story telling purposes... It's just your attitude isn't exactly in the right place for guys to approach you. You mentioned that guy don't usually approach and hit on you at public places like the grocery store often. Now the sun does shine on a dog's azz every once in awhile which might explain the other day, but it's no surprise it doesn't happen often. As for not flirting with everyone, try to think of it as just being friendly and happy. Positivity and attitude shows a lot, people are drawn to it when it's bright and happy, but they can also smell the negativity across the room.
Author Gallaxia Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Thanks. I will take that into consideration. I had previously mentioned (in another thread) that I was going through something that was affecting me in a negative way and it managed to manifest itself into my 'dating' self. Something to keep working on I guess.
Sivok Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 You and your smoking hot sister might've seemed intimidating to guys on the prowl, that's always a possibility too. You'd be surprised how many times extremely beautiful women DON'T get hit on in bars due to scaring the men away, hahaha. Maybe your more casual look makes you seem more approachable? That's definitely a possibility. For example, I picked up a girl once back in my school. I worked IT and was helping her out on her comp. When I met up with her later that week for a date, I couldn't believe how hot she looked all dressed up, hair down, and the makeup. I would've definitely needed more nerves approaching her if she looked like that on first meet.
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