what will i do

[messymichelle]

so here it is. i am 28 and my now ex is 32 we were together for 10 years. we have four kids. anyway 7 weks ago he walked out on me and has given me no reason except thathe needs some time by himself.

he is now living at his mums, i have no hard feelings towards his family but they are a bunch of users, three years ago we started a business together and they never helped there was times that we had no money but my family helped. my dad gave him alot of money to get started yet his family wouldnt give him nothing not even the time of day.

i have stood by him thtough everything, we had our wedding booked for next year and i had to cancel it, im in pieces i love this man and would do anything for him, now his family have taken over completly im told lies when i take the kids up to see their dad, that he isnt there even if his car is outside they say that they dont want to get involved, but im not to call up anymore, he was very close to his children and now he isnt bothering with them at all its breaking my heart.

i know from friends that he goes out drinking with his brother and sister every weekend and has been with a few girls, i have tried to not let this bother me but yesterday he asked me to do his paperwork every week because he doesnt know how to do it and niether does his family and if its not done then he will lose his business. this means being in regular contact with him. he asked me if i had been with anyone else and i laughed and said " dont ask me any questions and i wont ask you any" it nearly killed me to say it, i havent been with anyone but i didnt want him to know that, after he left he rang to say that his atm card wasnt working and if i had cancelled it i said that i hadnt but he said that i was lieing and turned off his phone.

my heart is broken im moody, i cant sleep and all i can think of is him out with other girls. i have been going out myself but it doesnt feel right without him.

he did cheat on me before but this hurt that i am feeling is 1000 more than that pain that i felt. i love him i want him back. every one says go nc but if i do that and not do his paperwork then am i risking pushing him further away if he loses his buisness?

i no that this is long but i would really like some good advice because im not coping with this at all. please dont say therapy because i cant afford it and i dont really like talking about my feelings

 

thanks

[brokendream]

Michelle, that's a sad situation to be in espeically since you have four kids with the man.

 

The first thing that struck me is that you are together 10 years and have 4 kids at age 28 and 32. You are both very young to be tied down with that level of commitment. He may feel that he missed out on a lot in his 20's and now he's trying to make up for lost time. He may just need to do his own thing for a while and see other people. Only time will tell if he will decide to come back to you.

 

Maybe he''s not seeing his kids cause it makes him feel guilty about what he's doing.

 

As for the paperwork....forget about it. This man has walked out on you and your four kids without explaination and you are doind favors for him. He will pay someone else if he doesn't know how to do it himself. I doubt he's that stupid to lose his business over some paperwork.