k934 Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Hi everyone. For the last few years Ive found it very hard to take a positive stance on the whole dating and girlfriends area. I think the reason for this stems from two areas which I just want to briefly explain to you now.. When I was in yr 10, 6 years ago now.... I like this girl a lot. unfortunately because I did nothing she ended up going out with one of my friends/aquaintances for a year but then he left to another state and they broke up. Before they started dating I thinking there was some attraction between us and after they broke up I think it came back. Me being my smart self asked her out over msn (stupid I know) and her response was for me to ask her again that coming Saturday at a party we were both going to.This implied to me she was going to say yes. Saturday also happened to be valentines day so I got her this necklace (too full on I know). I kissed her that night and after I asked her out and she said no to my shock. She said her ex was angry and she wasnt ready. This was along time ago when I was only a teenager but it really devastated me then. So Moving forward 3 years I met this other girl in a class at university. I really liked her immediately but the feelings were not returned by her and I was unaware she had a boyfriend partly due to my naivety and to her not telling me. So me oblivious to this fact tried msging her and asking her if she wanted to get something to eat after class. She rejected me all of these times but I believed her excuses. SO for the rest of that year I would msg her once in a while only asking for instance how the holidays were going. And come new years eve I was so upset with myself that I just wanted to know how she thought. I dont know why but at the time sending her msg to her email asking her if shed changed her number cos i' tried contacting her, seemed like a good idea. Her response was that no she hadnt and her boyfriend didnt appreciate the msg's. This devastated me worse than the previous incident as I like this girl so much more than the first. What made it worse was that she was happy to be friends with all the other guys that cracked on to her and I was never like this. From this point till now I have been in many ways miserable. Nothing else in other areas of my life such as university studies, sports etc. has gone wrong. But I have found it so difficult to be positive since. Again I know this is not something women want in men but I am so emotional and untrusting of even my own friends. Its been 1 and half years since this event and I still like her and I am so scared that my friends are going to meet her and she is going to be happy to be friends with all of them when she barely looks at me? I have no confidence, I dont smile much (having said that my normal face is fairly serious anyway) and I am so pessimistic about girls and dating. I cant find a way to move forward right now and am talking to someone but this is helping slowly. Is me being so worried about my friends normal? Can anyone offer advice as to what I should do? I am so jealous of all the other guys out there who have girlfriend after girlfriend. One thing I wanted to make clear is that now I honestly would be happy to be friends with her but her rejecting me in that respect makes it all even worse.
BiAxident Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Personally, I dont think that being worried about your friends in this way is particularly "normal". However, feeling hurt about all this business with the ladies is. As for advice, take whatever steps you can to increase your confidence. Get some exercise, which will make you feel better both chemically, as well as knowing that you are doing something good for yourself. Read some inspirational books (not necessarily self-help books, though those can help, but also books about people overcoming adversity, I highly recommend "Child of the Dark"). Beyond that, there are tens of thousands of posts on this board for you to wade through. Lots of stories of heartbreak, and some of people overcoming that heartbreak. Stay strong friend.
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