monkeymaid Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 my ex going on 4 months now is pissing me off, and every time i find myself thinking about her, i feel as if she is more and more of a cheating whore. i called out of work today, and i work for her mom (my boss). the boss tries calling me today and i dont pick up becasuei was busy, then just plain old forgot. at 10:30pm i get a text from the ex: are you ok? then half an hour later i got a call. really? ...i tried blocking her number but att wont let me. the next step is changing the number, but thats gonnabenearly impossible as i just started a business using my number, and i kind of need to use it! ...i didnt get **** for her caring when i went down on my motorcycle, or on my bday, why today? all i did was not call her mom back. thoughts? i think the universe is toying with me. the last 3 days have been hell formeas far as the ex goes, and now this . ...hurray!!!!
DenverBachelor Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 i called out of work today, and i work for her mom (my boss). You work for your ex's mom????
Author monkeymaid Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 yup, i met her through her parents. ...i dated the bosses daughter for just under 2 years. ...worked for her parents for 7
heavensmesenger Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 *sigh* Never dip your pen in the companies ink... Oh yeah just ignore your ex
Author monkeymaid Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 thanks bud, but your preaching to the converted
Author monkeymaid Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 jeebus freraking kriste! ...i cried over her today. ..wtf? why have i seemingly lost control of myself? i was the mother freaking man, and a simple text crumbled me to my knees. i did not resopne, i will not respond, but this has incapacitated me more than i ever imagained it could. ....i must have really loved this girl. more than even i knew. i dont get it at all!!!! why does she want to care now after not giving a rats ass for nearly 5 months?? my self esteem went from 200% to about 2% in a matter of seconds. 5 mile run, and a 45 minute workout afterwards, and i still had tears in my eyes. exercising is not doing it, reading didnt help. ...i worked today and that helped a whole lot, but as soon as i was done, boom. ....back to crying. an hour drive to my aunts house tonight and i was wiping tears for all of it. **** i hate you you stupid bitch whore!!!! die a slow firey violent death and may you rot in a vat of cum for the rest of eternity!!!!! i hate you more and more with every breath! im not sure this sort of contempt is good, but just writing it felt nice
northstar1 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I hear you man. I've had my confidence go from high to low from day to day with my ex. One day I'm feeling great, been spending some time with another girl lately and enjoying life, feeling like it was best we'd broke up, and then the next I feel like I'm just just running in place and it's all a smoke and mirrors show that I'm truly over the relationship. All we can do it keep going forward and work on ourselves.
LoveTruthChaos Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Let it all out, it's okay. I'm just starting to leave my third phase of anger, which has lasted 2 weeks. My ex ended it almost 3 months ago now. How many angry posts I have made! And all the times I posted in the 'Post here when you want to contact your ex' thread, it's ridiculous. My anger just masks my pain. The more I hurt, the angrier I get. Mainly coz I want him to hurt SO badly...I understand where you are now. Keep posting. You'll be okay. We both will.
heavensmesenger Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 It's ok to be angry, its just another stage of the grieving process and thats what its all about. It's the realization of the unknown, the future that you had planned with you ex has been taken away and it leaves you confused, alone and in unfamiliar circumstances. I'm on day 8 of NC and I don't even know what the **** I'm doing. Everything is backwards and upside down. All the while she enjoys her new bf who she dumped me for after cheating on me. Their probably laughing at how great it was going behind my back. It's hard but we gotta keep going. I want her to hurt so much like I am, how they have hidden the cheating from all her friends and his so they make me out to be the psycho ex. I want people to know what the pair of them are truly like.
cdt76 Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Dude, I work with the A$$ my ex left me for....they are still together. I KNOW your anger. It's been a year since she left me. A year. That just hit me, but I still have enough anger in me for him to power a small city. Everyday, I have to go to a place where bumping into him and seeing him is unavoidable. I have to find a way to control my hatred long enough not to hurt him. A year later and I'm still wondering what I'll do when I see him out in public..... Just do your best to not have any contact with her.
Author monkeymaid Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 ltc, this is my fourth distinct grieving cycle, and has been the worst yet. ...they are getting more and more distinct and emotion filled. at times, i think i am bipolar. and her contacting me just the little bit is triggering it!! i snapped at her mom this morning. i actually worried some of the girls i work with because i have this i really dont give a **** and you can take this job and shove it straight up your ass attitude that i am seemingly in zero control of. i feel like i am worse at this moment than the week following the breakup. i may have to start writing in my thread again. ... here it is if you guys want to read it. ...http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t224418/?highlight=damn+girl
Author monkeymaid Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 cdt. ...dude, thats got to be hard working with the guy. ...respect for not beating his ass as yet. ...i would have beat it long ago, and every time i saw him. i have zero self control when exposed to things like that. ...my exes rebound is lucky as **** i stopped working at the location with my ex cuz i would have beat him into a bloody pulp. ...he knew we were together, and chased her anyway. ...show no respect for me, and will show you that i have none for you. at this point, i am not turning another cheek. messenger. ....for someone on day 8 of nc, you seem pretty level headed. make sure you dont push that **** down. ...let it all out brother! if you hold it in, you will blow up at a later date. wow, i cant imagine what i would have done if i had held my **** in! scares me just thinking about it. hhahahahahhaah, i jus trealized that this is definatley the anger stage. yoga is my frien, yoga is my friend. ..breathe!
LoveTruthChaos Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 MM - you're in the 4th stage? Yikes. I was kind of hoping that this would be it! But yes, this third stage has been the worst, but I think I am starting to leave it somewhat. I do get the feeling that I will be hearing about what he's up to in the next few days though, and that will set me back....just waiting for it is painful, coz I know I will hear it. *sigh* something keeps telling me that I will be okay sooner than I think tho. I have to trust that feeling, that's all I have. Nothing but faith to keep me warm!
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