Tree Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 I dated this guy for 8 months. Was madly in love with the guy. He was still dealing with fallout from his failed marriage and being the primary to his 3 kids, so didn't have much to give. We broke things off 3 months ago and it's been NC since then. I have dated other guys since then, I just don't have much interest. They all pale in comparison. I have zero interest in dating, anymore. His b-day is in two weeks and I am dying to drop a "Happy B-day" email to him. Just a couple lines in it, with no further expectation of contact. I almost expect him to ignore it. Somebody save me from myself. Does NC EVER get better? It's not that I'm sitting around with nothing better to do but pine for him. I have a full-time job, I run 4 days a week and lift 3-4 days, and I'm getting revved up to start school in the Fall and actually have a big move coming up. So I have plenty to keep me busy. But in the quiet moments, I can't get him off my mind. 3 freaking months, though?!? Tell me this eventually gets better.
gogarth Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Sorry you're having a hard time. No good will come from sending him a note---you'll wonder if he's going to respond, and if he doesn't, you'll feel bad. If he does, it'll only give you false hope and prevent you from moving on. NC does get better with time. That's because the time apart gives you some objectivity about your relationship and him as a person. You may come to some rather surprising conclusions. In my case, after several months of NC, I realized that my ex and I weren't a good fit, and the breakup was for good reasons. Interestingly, after I've already moved on, the ex contacted me and said he wanted to get back together, twice, once six months later, and another time six months after that. However, I wasn't interested any longer. I think your relationship didn't work out because he just wasn't ready to have anything serious. That's common after a divorce -- it takes time to get over a failed marriage, and there's nothing you can do about that. Just let him be. You have to do it for you. It's the best thing for you right now.
Author Tree Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Thank you. I do agree it probably won't do anybody any good. It just sucks. The romantic aspect aside, he was a really fun friend to have and I miss that part more than anything. *sigh* Thanks again for your response. I'm going to do my darndest to NOT send anything. Want to soooo bad.
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