Dear Men, cool it with the "biology excuse" for cheating.

[Diezel]

How can it not be any simpler?

 

What is sex? A biological function of human beings.

 

Why do people cheat? End result: To have sex.

So people cheat to have sex which is a biological function.

Have you ever heard of people cheating just to "hang out" with someone else? Or cheating to go visit a new art museum? Or go to a koi fish pond and throw some pennies?

 

No, the end result of cheating and sole objective is to have sex.

 

Yes, fidelity is a CHOICE, but the reason they are making that choice is because of a biological function. People wouldn't cheat if they didn't want to have sex with the "other" person.

 

This thread ISN'T about whether people should cheat or not, that's a whole different thread altogether, it's about "biology excuse" for cheating.

[Shakz]

Yes, sex is a biological function but it is also a means by which two people express love and affection for one another. Sex is not an essential drive in humans to the extent that it is in other animals. If it were, we wouldn't have the capacity to refrain from it altogether. We can choose to have sex or not, we can choose our partner without regard to their potential fertility, and we can completely disassociate it's biological component. When we enter into an exclusive relationship, sex becomes more than just baby-making, it becomes a bonding ritual. A sort of interpersonal eucharist. When we cheat we break that bond, defile the sanctity of the rite, and our only excuse is to say that we are no better than an animal. That's a piss-poor excuse IMO. How about "I was selfish?"

[carhill]

Have you ever heard of people cheating just to "hang out" with someone else? Or cheating to go visit a new art museum? Or go to a koi fish pond and throw some pennies?

Though I do like the koi pond visual, none of the married women who've 'cheated' with me have done it for sex. Let me see, hmm, I'm up to what, five now, some while single and some while married. I'll define the unhealthiness by verbal expressions of ILY, touching, flirting, sharing of personal intimacies, both singlular and marital. To me, that's 'cheating'. No genitals were involved, though, with the typical indiscriminate male, they likely could have been. These weren't random strangers in a bar, rather people known for years, even decades. Perhaps that was the key. They knew I was 'safe', both sexually as well as regarding their confidences. Hard to know. Maybe they banged someone else. Just glad I'm not in their M's, or any M for that matter, any more. Bye-bye

 

Oh, OP, it's just an excuse. I've cheated and it was a *choice*. The only biology involved was that in my abherant/disfunctional cognitive center. I knew it was wrong and hurtful and did it anyway. EOS.

[bananaboat11]

Women are CRAZY. Men are STUPID.

 

end of story.

[carhill]

Owned, wrt relationships. Maybe there is something to this biology thing.

[bananaboat11]

Owned, wrt relationships. Maybe there is something to this biology thing.

 

 

I have a penis and I know how to use it.

 

Although... I hate the fact I have morals and values. I can't just go around using it where and when I want. heh.

 

When I am with a woman... it's b/c I WANT to be WITH HER... not undress another woman with my eyes. I want to undress the woman I'm WITH with my eyes and let her know in a sexy, but subtle way when I know it's right... so she slams me against the wall and rips my shirt off... and so on and so forth... and i've done that before. I don't know... when you invest in someone like that... the sex is so much hotter, more intense... more orgasmic...

[LSNoob]

Oh, OP, it's just an excuse. I've cheated and it was a *choice*. The only biology involved was that in my abherant/disfunctional cognitive center. I knew it was wrong and hurtful and did it anyway. EOS.

 

Yea right, you knew!! =P

More like weak to resist the temptations.

[samsungxoxo]

Excuses for cheating were made since way before I was born (I'm 23 now) and so there is nothing new about it but pathetic losers.

 

Everyone of us is capable of cheating but would we do it? That's the question. No because most of us value and respect ourselves in the first time. Why the need to seek someone's approval? If you're complaining about your messed-up relationship then get the hell out and once you're single again then you can lower yourself, desperately seeking all the attention you want.

 

I think the only single somewhat understandable excuse for cheating would be out of revenge. If he/she cheated on their partners first and the other one wants to hurt then the same way then why not...

I'm a vindictive woman if a man hurts emotionally so badly (sex with OW) so I might stop at nothing to equally inflict pain on him as well too and then leave right away with a smile on my face.

Then again, I'll leave him right there but if revenge were to come in my mind first then it's unstoppable.

[carhill]

Yea right, you knew!! =P

More like weak to resist the temptations.

Absolutely. I should've booted stbx's ass out years ago. It was nothing other than abject emotional weakness. Ironically, the MC she insisted upon caused many things to change. That said, as women continue to bang men who use the biology excuse, validating that perspective, the dynamic and the stereotype will be perpetuated. Hope it works out for them

[carhill]

Oh, if 'cheating' here is defined as wetted noodles, I didn't cheat. Whew. Thanks, Bill.

 

In my peer group, the only people who seem to talk about cheating are women. The guys seems to keep their lips zipped on the matter. Is that biology too?

[Krytie TV]

OP, have you had a parade of SOs cheat on you and say, "It's biology baby"?

 

You have some seriously strange and crappy luck. You need to tune your radar.

[donnamaybe]

Both situations are mutually exclusive. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don't.

 

But I'd say 8 times out of 10, a man who cheats is cheating because they don't get something out of their current relationship that they can get somewhere else...

 

Yeah. Constant strokes for their pathetic, yawning chasm of an ego.

[Woman In Blue]

Dear Men,

 

I'm tired of you guys using the biological excuse to justify cheating.

 

"I can't help it baby, men are wired to try to spread their sperm, that's why one woman is just not enough for me.".

Another suddenly very popular excuse for getting caught with their pants down is the, "I'm a sex addict!" excuse. Give me a freakin break.

 

All of a sudden, they're all claiming to be sex addicts when they're really just acting like pigs. Big surprise.

[sally4sara]

Seeing as there is no biological reason for women NOT being promiscuous, and lots of biological evidence that women were not naturally monogamous, I'd think men would be more supportive of women also not being able to help it due to being "wired that way" if they are going to use the excuse at all.

 

Yet they seem less able to swallow the excuses when they are on the receiving end. Seems reasonable to me that it has been an just an excuse all along.

[Dexter Morgan]

Dear Men,

 

I'm tired of you guys using the biological excuse to justify cheating.

 

I agree.

 

But by the same token, I'm tired of hearing women, and other women coming to their defense, justifying their cheating by saying their needs weren't met....as if any one person can meet ALL of anyone elses needs.

 

Seems that when women cheat, it is to be understood and it is the man's fault.

 

Justifications for cheating are slung around by men and women alike and all the excuses in the world and those excuses are all bulls##t

[threebyfate]

I agree.

 

But by the same token, I'm tired of hearing women, and other women coming to their defense, justifying their cheating by saying their needs weren't met....as if any one person can meet ALL of anyone elses needs.

 

Seems that when women cheat, it is to be understood and it is the man's fault.

 

Justifications for cheating are slung around by men and women alike and all the excuses in the world and those excuses are all bulls##t

Agreed. It's all excuses, regardless of gender. No one held a real or biological gun to your head. Your choice and free will. If you expect that any partner will meet every single one of your wants and needs, you NEED your head examined. And if your partner isn't meeting most of your reasonable needs and wants, why the hell are you still in a relationship with them?

[lkjh]

Dear Men,

 

I'm tired of you guys using the biological excuse to justify cheating.

 

"I can't help it baby, men are wired to try to spread their sperm, that's why one woman is just not enough for me."

 

Sound familiar? Well guess what, women are just the same.

 

Biologically, women want their offspring to be as strong and healthy as possible. How do they ensure this? By having lots of different sperm options, so their body can pick the best one to produce offspring. So biologically, women want to have lots of sex so that they can have lots of genetic options to have the healthiest baby possible.

 

But have you ever heard a woman say, "I can't help it baby, women are wired to get as much sperm as possible, that's why one man is just not enough for me."

If a woman said that, she would be called a slut and cast aside.

 

So in short men shouldn't use biology as an excuse not to be monogamous. We're all physically built to be sluts, and that shouldn't get in the way of a emotionally satisfying relationship.

 

 

I agree that there is no excuse for men to cheat but I do have to point something out. Women are biologically made to ensure that their offspring grow up and grow strong but they dont do this by having various partners. They do this by nurturing their offspring and protecting them. I just had to jump in on this one because biology is my field.

 

 

Also, I think women should cool it with the "my needs weren't be met" excuse for cheating. Men have needs to

[Dexter Morgan]

I think the only single somewhat understandable excuse for cheating would be out of revenge. If he/she cheated on their partners first and the other one wants to hurt then the same way then why not...

 

why not? because I'd still see no excuse for it.

 

If someone that wants to be with me told me she cheated out of revenge, I wouldn't trust them. because first off it isn't and excuse, and secondly, lets add vindictiveness to her list of traits. Would make me wonder if she'd cheat and excuse her behavior on other run of the mill problems that might crop up and I hadn't cheated.

 

 

I'm a vindictive woman if a man hurts emotionally so badly (sex with OW) so I might stop at nothing to equally inflict pain on him as well too and then leave right away with a smile on my face.

 

and there is my point made very nicely. you are vindictive, and that kind of personality would be highly likely to cheat even if it were revenge for something other than cheating, like an argument where both sides said things they didn't mean.

[LSNoob]

Dexter nails it all the time. Well said _b.

[samsungxoxo]

why not? because I'd still see no excuse for it.

If someone that wants to be with me told me she cheated out of revenge, I wouldn't trust them. because first off it isn't and excuse, and secondly, lets add vindictiveness to her list of traits. Would make me wonder if she'd cheat and excuse her behavior on other run of the mill problems that might crop up and I hadn't cheated.

Ok let's suppose she told you cheating would only happen if they first cheat on her but she would leave the relationship if it had other issues and it didn't work out.

and there is my point made very nicely. you are vindictive, and that kind of personality would be highly likely to cheat even if it were revenge for something other than cheating, like an argument where both sides said things they didn't mean.

I wouldn't cheat after an argument but might not speak to him for several days (depending on what word was said). That is just an issue that's got to be solve within a relationship.

Cheating is total different because it degrades your self-esteem or value as a human. That's not just an issue but it means they completely ignore the meaning of monogamous, committed relationship as well as love. If they were going to bring 3rd person in the picture then why bother being in a relationship. Very few humans are able to work on that and forgive... I wouldn't.

Hence why if a man was sooo much of a coward to totally disrespect me because of wanting to have his needs met (lame excuse ever) then why can't I have my fun as well? He had his fun so it would be my turn... then it would make the relationship 50/50... even...

[Reality Drip]

The biology excuse is used quite often. Fact is, as other posters have said it comes down to needs not being met or self-destructive tendencies. That's life.

 

Women cheat just as men do. It's sad that they are called sluts and whores for doing what men do but that's just male jealousy and ego getting in the way. Personally, I like women being a little more liberal with their ways; be empowered ladies!

 

-Max

[Dexter Morgan]

Ok let's suppose she told you cheating would only happen if they first cheat on her but she would leave the relationship if it had other issues and it didn't work out.

 

then she isn't the kind of person I want to be with. It shows her vindictiveness.

 

someone that would cheat in revenge would have wanted to cheat anyway, just using "revenge" as an excuse.

 

 

Cheating is total different because it degrades your self-esteem or value as a human.

 

exactly, it degrades their value. therefore not much value in me staying with them, whether they did it for revenge or not.

 

 

Hence why if a man was sooo much of a coward to totally disrespect me because of wanting to have his needs met (lame excuse ever) then why can't I have my fun as well?

 

because you would have wanted that fun anyway, just waited for a good excuse. and given your history of liking to get sexual online with other men other than your bf, it makes all too much sense.

 

He had his fun so it would be my turn... then it would make the relationship 50/50... even...

 

if one party cheats, then what relationship?

[dreamingoftigers]

Men will stop using biology as an excuse when their women will stop trying to hold their vagine over their heads as if it were a tradeable commodity.

 

When was the last time you heard a man say that he didn't want to have sex because he had a headache, or that he just didn't "feel like it"?

 

My husband, because he wants to go out and cheat.

[sweetjasmine]

Men will stop using biology as an excuse when their women will stop trying to hold their vagine over their heads as if it were a tradeable commodity.

 

When was the last time you heard a man say that he didn't want to have sex because he had a headache, or that he just didn't "feel like it"?

 

Wait, what?

 

My SO says no every once in a while (more often than I do, in fact) -- when he's sick, exhausted, not feeling well, not in the mood, too stressed. I don't own his body and I don't have a right to 24/7 access to it. When he says, "I don't feel like it," I respect him, his needs, and his desires, and I've never looked at it as him "holding his d-ck over his head as if it were a tradeable commodity" or trying to manipulate me or deny me my needs because it's all about ME ME ME ME ME.

 

Would it make sense for me to get it somewhere else whenever he's too tired/not feeling well? Jeez, maybe he should stop making excuses and let me use his body whenever I want, on demand, so I don't follow my biological impulses to get laid and go find someone else. If I cheat, it's his fault for not putting out whenever I want him to.

[emely]

so shouldn't women would want to sleep with as many men as possible as well if we are to blame biology?

I mean to be sure survival of the tribe, spreading the genetic code is the best right

Why put all eggs in one basket?Maybe one guys turns out to have ****ty genes, better mate with as many guys as possible just to be sure!

 

so women have an excue as well:p