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Dear Men, cool it with the "biology excuse" for cheating.

whiterook

By whiterook
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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whiterook New Member

whiterook

Posted
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Dear Men,

 

I'm tired of you guys using the biological excuse to justify cheating.

 

"I can't help it baby, men are wired to try to spread their sperm, that's why one woman is just not enough for me."

 

Sound familiar? Well guess what, women are just the same.

 

Biologically, women want their offspring to be as strong and healthy as possible. How do they ensure this? By having lots of different sperm options, so their body can pick the best one to produce offspring. So biologically, women want to have lots of sex so that they can have lots of genetic options to have the healthiest baby possible.

 

But have you ever heard a woman say, "I can't help it baby, women are wired to get as much sperm as possible, that's why one man is just not enough for me."

If a woman said that, she would be called a slut and cast aside.

 

So in short men shouldn't use biology as an excuse not to be monogamous. We're all physically built to be sluts, and that shouldn't get in the way of a emotionally satisfying relationship.

Shakz Established Member

Shakz

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I will go along with that if women will dump the "alpha male," "beta male" fallacy.

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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Women cheat just as much as men. They don't play the biology card, but they do use the "needs" card to death.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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So why do women cheat? They certainly aren't innocent.

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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So why do women cheat?

 

Same reasons men do.

sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

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So why do women cheat? They certainly aren't innocent.

 

Its a matter of vanity and insecurity.

 

The insecurity leads to the giving of sex to more quickly gain the approval of a person they want.

 

Vanity; they are not making love to you. They are making love to their own reflection. The look you get in your eye when you desire a woman. If a woman has seen that go out in her man's eye, and she is an insecure one with low level of communication - she can find herself without integrity (if she had any in the first place) when an attractive new man makes his approach.

 

It can be the same for men. A guy screws up enough by his woman, she stops looking at him like her white knight. If he is an insecure fella, he will seek a damsel in distress that hasn't seen him fail her yet.

 

But for both, if they know their worth beyond the approval from others, they know that the new eyes on them have never seen them at their worst and still loved them. When a guy casts his approval of my appearance, it doesn't matter to me because he doesn't really know why I'm so awesome beyond the wrapping. My husband does though, even when we are fighting.

Serenitynow Established Member

Serenitynow

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I'm tired of you guys using the biological excuse to justify cheating

 

Doesnt matter how tired you are of hearing it its true.

 

Do some research or watch some science shows and you'll find out that its already been proven.

 

Studies are also showing a symptom in women that make them want find a new mate for more kids after they have their kids with their first mate.

 

"Dear close minded people, can you stop discounting science and start realizing there are things that you dont always agree with ?"

 

I agree its not an excuse, but its the truth.

 

Oh can women stop using PMS as an excuse for being b*tches while we're at it ? :p

 

 

 

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Edited by Serenitynow
sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

Posted
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Doesnt matter how tired you are of hearing it its true.

 

Do some research or watch some science shows and you'll find out that its already been proven.

 

Studies are always showing a symptom in women that make them want find a new mate for more kids after they have their kids with their first mate.

 

"Dear close minded people, can you stop discounting science and start realizing there are things that you dont always agree with ?"

 

I agree its not an excuse, but its the truth.

.

 

That's funny, because before men knew they even had a role in creating a child, monogamy was unheard of by both men and women. We both have the biological urge to mate (sex feels good). We just rutted with any old body that happened to feel the urge the same moment we did.

 

Monogamy is the result of inheritance, inheritance is the result of the discovery of paternity. It caused our society to admonish promiscuity in women. It took longer and the creation of religion to make a dent in male promiscuity.

 

And men produce more sperm not just to have children, because most of the sperm in a man's orgasm has the job of inhibiting the sperm of any other male the woman might have been with. Men have three different kinds of sperm and only one of those three seek eggs. If it were biology for a woman to be less promiscuous than a man, men would never have developed anything but egg seekers.

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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whiterook, don't admonish men for saying this. It's a great way to filter out the ones who will justify their own cheating! :p

 

And while I'm using a smilie to show amusement, in many ways I'm serious. Anyone who latches onto any kind of excuse for cheating, whether it's biological or says that everyone has the capacity for cheating behaviour, has a much, much greater likelihood of past, present and/or future cheating.

blair08 Established Member

blair08

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Biological or not, its still a choice. All things are a choice. But, yeah the biological excuse is used up, sorry. :D

Diezel Established Member

Diezel

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So in short men shouldn't use biology as an excuse not to be monogamous. We're all physically built to be sluts, and that shouldn't get in the way of a emotionally satisfying relationship.

 

Men will stop using biology as an excuse when their women will stop trying to hold their vagine over their heads as if it were a tradeable commodity.

 

When was the last time you heard a man say that he didn't want to have sex because he had a headache, or that he just didn't "feel like it"?

sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

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Men will stop using biology as an excuse when their women will stop trying to hold their vagine over their heads as if it were a tradeable commodity.

 

When was the last time you heard a man say that he didn't want to have sex because he had a headache, or that he just didn't "feel like it"?

 

So you're saying the biology excuse is not truthful, but a revenge tactic employed when a woman doesn't offer it up every time a guy requests it?

 

Nice.

Diezel Established Member

Diezel

Posted
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So you're saying the biology excuse is not truthful, but a revenge tactic employed when a woman doesn't offer it up every time a guy requests it?

 

Nice.

 

Both situations are mutually exclusive. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don't.

 

But I'd say 8 times out of 10, a man who cheats is cheating because they don't get something out of their current relationship that they can get somewhere else...

 

If they got it from their current, why would they need to cheat?

 

Does this not make sense?

 

Don't women cheat on men when they are not satisfied somehow in the relationship? We just don't mask why we cheat.

sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

Posted
Posted
Both situations are mutually exclusive. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don't.

 

But I'd say 8 times out of 10, a man who cheats is cheating because they don't get something out of their current relationship that they can get somewhere else...

 

If they got it from their current, why would they need to cheat?

 

Does this not make sense?

 

Don't women cheat on men when they are not satisfied somehow in the relationship? We just don't mask why we cheat.

 

People also leave relationships because they are not getting their needs met. To choose to stay and cheat? Well there is nothing biological about that.

So that doesn't really explain cheating in regards to biology does it?

Diezel Established Member

Diezel

Posted
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People also leave relationships because they are not getting their needs met. To choose to stay and cheat? Well there is nothing biological about that.

So that doesn't really explain cheating in regards to biology does it?

 

And some people stay in relationships and cheat.

 

What is your point exactly? Because mine was made very clearly.

A guy whose girlfriend is denying him sex for whatever psychological reason, will go out and find another way to get laid if that is the case.

 

Yes, he can choose to quit the relationship, but just as WOMEN do, he can also choose to cheat and just stay in the relationship.

 

It's biological because he wanted to have SEX, which is a biological function of BOTH males and females.

 

How is that NOT crystal clear?

Whatever emotional attachment is involved within the relationship is MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE of the situation of sex. Whether a man or woman consciously decide to cheat, that's their indepedent decision, but the reason to cheat is biological... HENCE SEX... HENCE CHEAT.

 

Not everyone will leave their relationships before they decide to embark in another sexual misadventure.

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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If they got it from their current, why would they need to cheat?
No one, man or woman NEEDS to cheat. It's a slimy choice.
Diezel Established Member

Diezel

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No one, man or woman NEEDS to cheat. It's a slimy choice.

 

Agreed.

 

I hope no one tries to interpret my posts as a reason to justify cheating. I'm not. I've never cheated, nor would I ever, but I'm clarifying why men DO cheat from a biological standpoint.

 

You are right that no man or woman NEEDS to cheat, but that doesn't mean that ALL men and women will break off their current relationships before considering someone else.

 

Some people just like to have their cake and eat it too.

Shakz Established Member

Shakz

Posted
Posted
No one, man or woman NEEDS to cheat. It's a slimy choice.

 

Right on! Look, if you commit yourself to someone, and promise to be exclusive, and then aren't, you're a prick. Male or female. It ain't rocket surgery.

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

Posted
Posted
Agreed.

 

I hope no one tries to interpret my posts as a reason to justify cheating. I'm not. I've never cheated, nor would I ever, but I'm clarifying why men DO cheat from a biological standpoint.

 

You are right that no man or woman NEEDS to cheat, but that doesn't mean that ALL men and women will break off their current relationships before considering someone else.

 

Some people just like to have their cake and eat it too.

There is no biological standpoint for cheating. We are human beings who make choices in life. Some people are selfish, others aren't. Some will slime their way around commitments, others stand by their commitments.

 

Right on! Look, if you commit yourself to someone, and promise to be exclusive, and then aren't, you're a prick. Male or female. It ain't rocket surgery.
Absolutely. There are a million excuses people give for cheating within an exclusive relationship. Each and every one of them is an excuse.
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

There is no excuse for cheating male or female. If people want to mess around and they are honest about it then no problem but nobody has to cheat.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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I second that.

There's a difference between being naturally promiscuous, and cheating.

 

I always say this:

Desire is Natural.

Fidelity is a choice.

 

If you commit, then commit, and keep to it, you damn idiot (notice the neutral, genderless implication, there....)

 

If you don't want to commit, and don't think you're capable of committing, then fine. But be upfront about it.

 

If you DO commit, then find you just can't keep your legs crossed (notice the neutral genderless implication, there....) then do something about it BEFORE you CHOOSE to uncross them....

imagine Established Member

imagine

Posted
Posted

 

"I can't help it baby, men are wired to try to spread their sperm, that's why one woman is just not enough for me."

 

 

Is this what you boyfriend said to you after your first post?

Serenitynow Established Member

Serenitynow

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm not taking sides over the male/female debate, simply trying to open the eyes of the people that are dead set on choosing sides before any evidence is heard.

 

There is no biological standpoint for cheating. We are human beings who make choices in life.
Anyone that thinks the above statment is true is extremely narrow minded, and has absolutley no idea what they are talking about.

 

http://www.biologynews.net/archives/2008/09/08/infidelity_dissected_new_research_on_why_people_cheat.html

 

The above link is 1 of a number of studies that can be looked up

 

Another link below that describes a study on why people think that men cheat more, when in reality women cheat jus as much, but are masters at deception and covering things up.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1211104/Think-men-unfaithful-sex-A-study-shows-WOMEN-biggest-cheats--theyre-just-better-lying-it.html#

 

An excerpt from the above link if you're too lazy to read it :

 

"

Women are taught to lie from childhood. Those simple, altruistic lies such as saying we've had a lovely time when we haven't, that someone looks nice when she doesn't, or that we're delighted with a gift we don't really like, are just some of the small ways that lying oils the wheels of our social lives, keeps the peace, and makes other people happy.

 

Girls will lie to protect someone's feelings or to build a relationship. Honesty, in these circumstances, looks highly overrated, and we quickly learn the value and power of being economical with the truth in relationships.

 

Many women also develop a habit of secrecy about smaller issues in their relationship as a way of maintaining some kind of control.

 

It's common, for example, for women to lie to their partners about how much money they have spent - even when they don't need to.

 

 

It's not just a question of avoiding the inevitable row over the 'worth it' factor of a pair of killer heels, but of holding something back in order to maintain a sense of emotional independence, and to balance out the power we might feel our partner has in other aspects of the relationship.

 

A recent survey by a leading building society also found that women are much more likely than men to have a 'secret' account with money their partner knows nothing about.

'My mother always used to say that you should never tell a man everything,' says Clare, 38, 'and I thought it was rubbish. I believed in total honesty.

'But now I agree with her. Why explain yourself over every little thing? Why have a huge row over something he needn't even know about? I never tell him about my girlfriends' secrets, because he'd be judgmental and disapproving. "

 

 

EVERYONE knows that most women constantly tell little white lies on a regular basis, as a way of "keeping the peace" in their social settings. Way more than guys do. This is what gives them the tools to hide an affair better than a guy can. Plus guys usually brag about it like the idiots they are which also gets them in trouble.

 

 

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Edited by Serenitynow
Serenitynow Established Member

Serenitynow

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how many more links do you want before you learn that biology is behind everything ?

 

I'm not saying its an excuse, I'm simply stating that its what drives the urge.

 

The individual can make the choice whether to give in to the urge to cheat or fight it off.

 

http://www.examiner.com/x-42791-DC-Infidelity-Examiner~y2010m4d18-Examining-why-men-cheat

 

http://atheism.about.com/b/2008/09/11/biological-basis-of-monogamy-cheating-bonding.htm

 

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=a5kGdZ7L7vMI&refer=home

 

Excerpt from the above link :

"Investigators have long known the gene that controls the hormone vasopressin is responsible for monogamy in prairie voles, small animals common in the grasslands of North America. Now researchers from the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm have uncovered it in men -- and showed it may play a role in whether they and their spouses are happily married. "

 

 

 

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