JCBlayze Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 So this is kind of a long post.. I'm tryin to keep it as simple as possible... I'm a 24 year old male who has been unofficially dating a girl since August of 2009 (we officially started dating January of this year). We met in medical school when I was in my 2nd year and she was entering her first but she is actually one year older than me. She had a very serious bf that she lived with for a year (she broke up with him a year before we met but she still hung out with him) and lost her virginity to, whom she is still in contact with. I'm not the jealous type so I have no problem with this.. she hasn't told him she’s dating someone cause she says that he is crazy.. The big issue is the fact that we have been basically been dating for almost a year and yet we have not had sex. With her ex, they had sex within a month and she introduced him to her parents within 2 months. Whereas me and her have been dating for almost a year and have not had sex and I have not been introduced to her parents. She wouldn’t even let me into her apartment till about a month ago.. early in our relationship there was a lot of passion and we would “dry hump” and she would let me suck her breasts and she’d feel my penis but that’s about it.. she wouldn’t let me even touch her vag.. She told me that in her past relationship, it became only about sex where they would have sex “8 times a day everyday” and that’s it. And she doesn’t want this relationship to be just that.. she also says that she was very sexual before but she isn’t any longer… which scares me about any future cause I consider myself to be very sexual.. but I’ve suppressed it since I met her. I told her that I have had sex with 5 girls which she found disgusting and started saying that she wants to get her HPV before we have sex.. that was back in December.. she still hasn’t gotten her HPV (it takes 6 months for the full course so if she gets it today the earliest we’d be able to have sex is in January)… Although early we had a lot of passion.. I feel like all that has died down now.. her sister was having psychological issues back in March and she asked if she could stay with me and so basically for 2 months she slept over (she’s currently staying with her parents for the summer).. we would kiss but nothing sexual at all.. now it kinda feels like we’re just roommates that kiss occasionally.. theres none of that passion we once had The thing is I really like her.. but I kind of feel like I’m just some replacement who will never be what her ex was to her..
guy.lepage Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 I wouldn't say you are wasting your time but it seems like your GF is dealing with some issues and who knows whether she'll ever figure them out. Obviously sex isn't everything but it is an important part of the relationship. It could be that she's having symptoms of depression and is not really into sex or passion for now. It's up to you to figure out if she makes you happy and whether you are prepared to deal with this.
Author JCBlayze Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 Thx for the reply.. But can w repair the fact that we're just friends now? I want to go back to having passion like we did early.. And I wanna be more then what he was to her
Diezel Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Wow, a whole YEAR? I have no idea how you held out that long. Look, if after a year she STILL feels like there is nothing sexual to come of this, there probably won't be. There are plenty of women out there that would think that you having been with 5 women is a LOW number. BtW, what are you doing telling your girlfriend how many women it's been? I make it a general rule to NEVER find out how many they've been with nor do I tell them how many I've been with. That situation ALWAYS makes for instant disaster. No matter what number you give or get, it'll never be satisfactory, one way or the other. And I hate to say this, but there isn't any passion in the relationship. If anything you have Level 1 Passion in which you might FEEL intimate with her, but you're obviously NOT getting any of the intimacy benefits, which means to me, that there really isn't any passion. You need to find someone who is more sexually compatible for you. I don't see this getting any better. 4 or 5 months? Yes. ONE YEAR. Not really.
AngryTroll Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 She's playing games, she has issues, let her go.
Author JCBlayze Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Yeaa I'm kinda surprised myself that I waited that long.. I wasn't planning on it but somehow it just happened.. I think we both realize how much this is effecting our relationship but we don't know how to fix it.. I really do love her so it's tough to break up cause of sex (although obviously other things are factors too) I'm bad with breaking up tho.. I feel like she's really attached so how do I break up w her without further fn up her head.. Should I wait to see her or should I just do over the phone
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