ChemicalFire Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 (edited) My ex and I had a chat on IM, and she said this: Blue: Blue sighs Blue: listening to lot of the songs that reminded me of you Rob: I've avoided them Rob: I took Secondhand Serenade and Flyleaf off my iPod because they reminded me too much of you Blue: awwwh Blue: *hugs* Blue: im sorry i've caused you so much pain Rob: *sigh* Rob: it's not your fault Rob: it's not your fault that the love wasn't there anymore because no one has control of that Rob: but it has hurt Rob: and it still does Rob: but it's in perspective now and I just get on with it Blue: ne, it hurts me too.... Blue: i remember everything, beleive me if i could go back i would, but its impossible She doesn't seem to want to move on, or isn't making an effort to move off of me and misses being with me, or at least she claims she does. At the same time however she says she doesn't feel she can trust me as a boyfriend again as I broke a promise I made to her. What does she really want? Is there anything I can do? She seems to keep changing her mind each time I talk to her. Edited June 26, 2010 by ChemicalFire
feelinggood Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 I guess you should give each other some time to clear things off. Although everyone has been saying NC is the best thing to do, but I don't recommend it. She'd think you have given up on her and the last chance will be gone. Maybe you can contact her like once or twice a week. How long has the break been? Try to make her feel comfortable and joke a little. Or do the things that will make her happy. BUT, don't push her too much as she's still a little fragile right now. Take things slowly, you want to get her back and not scare her away. I wish you the best of luck! I'm actually going through the same thing as you as well. But trust me, my situation is worse than this. Be strong, boy!
spriggig Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 When they really want you back they come crawling on hands and knees and won't leave you alone. She's probably just feeling lonely and wanted some assurance that SOMEONE still wanted her. "im sorry i've caused you so much pain" An apology is not a declaration of love or desire. "...if i could go back i would, but its impossible" She said it's impossible. She doesn't mean it's impossible to go back in time, she means it's impossible for you two to be together. Go back into NC and ignore her, she's just using you for support while she plays the field. You deserve someone who wants and loves you not this sorry excuse for a "friendship". Her true colors will show if you ignore her.
Author ChemicalFire Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 (edited) I guess you should give each other some time to clear things off. Although everyone has been saying NC is the best thing to do, but I don't recommend it. She'd think you have given up on her and the last chance will be gone. Maybe you can contact her like once or twice a week. How long has the break been? Try to make her feel comfortable and joke a little. Or do the things that will make her happy. BUT, don't push her too much as she's still a little fragile right now. Take things slowly, you want to get her back and not scare her away. I wish you the best of luck! I'm actually going through the same thing as you as well. But trust me, my situation is worse than this. Be strong, boy! It's been about 2 months. Recently I had been intense with her and she seemed to hate me. Though upon me saying that I was going to cut contact for both our sakes I came back to my computer to find a message that said she forgave me for that. I have a feeling she either doesn't know what she wants, or is just using me for emotional gratification, though that doesn't seem like her. Edited June 28, 2010 by ChemicalFire
feelinggood Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Yea sometimes I have that feeling of him using me too. He told me it's impossible to go back too, but he's coming back now. Anyway, I'm not asking you to have high hopes of her coming back. Every break up has its own story, and the person you love is different from others, you know her the best, so only you know what is she thinking. In some cases, it's the best to go NC. But some cases you don't have to, depending on yourself and the situation. What's the reason of the break up? Is there any third party? If you can control yourself and stop thinking that she will come back, then stay in contact, minimum contact that is. Always prepare for the worst, and when the good comes by, you will be thrilled. Anyway, everything is depending on you. Follow your heart. Everything I said is just my opinion, it doesnt guarantee anything. Talk to your friends, go out more often and enjoy your single life now. I'll support you no matter what decision you have made
Author ChemicalFire Posted June 29, 2010 Author Posted June 29, 2010 For a bit of detail, here is the conversation we had: Rob: I will miss you... Rob: So, yeah, Goodbye. I hope that me not being around stops the sad days. Rob: Blue: *nuzzles* Blue: i forgive you again Rob: You shouldn't tbh Blue: i do Blue: add me again Rob: ? Rob: where Rob: I've not deleted you from skype yet Rob: I'm just on invisable Blue: ah okay then Then we had a pretty normal conversation and she seemed to be enjoying it.
ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 (edited) She's playing around with you. Girls do that. They like to know they still have you on a little string. Nice huh? Cut off the ties, nothings going to come from her but more pain. You're reading too much into this, just hoping and wishing. Move on. Because I'll tell you...if someone wants you back, THEY WILL TELL YOU. Plain and clear, or be at your door. Otherwise, they don't want you back at all, OR they are playing little games. Steer clear of people who play games. Don't let her have you in her life, she needs to get what she asked for when she broke up with you, which...is no more you. In anyway. By this I mean, she broke up with you. It's done. She doesn't get the pleasure of still talking to you. Righto? Righto. NC NC NC NC is the way to go. Edited July 5, 2010 by ahashakeheartbreak
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