nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 I'm a divorcee of 4 years I met a girl going through a divorce very nice. How do I know if she likes me too? I met her from craigslist and she lives in my town. I really like her a lot and we have seen each other about 8 times so far. We havn't hooked up in the last 3 days it seems she has an excuse. Last time we were together everything seemed like normal. If i go more than 3 or 4 hours without texting her she will still text me. She is going through a divorce from a 3 year relationship as of 6 months ago and i've been divorced for 4 years and was together with my wife for 6. Am I doing something wrong by requesting to see her cause all she will write back is i dont know or she is too busy. She is extremely shy and extremely nice and genuine and very sweet person with some health problems but that doesn't bother me any at all. Neither of us has kids but she has a God-daughter she looks after which is her brothers and is 3 years old. She brings her over and says she is impressed how good I am with her. Everything seems right but yet I feel something is holding her back from me. It makes me feel depressed at times. What are the kind of things she is looking for and what am I not providing? We have known each other for only two weeks but it turns out when we met she already knew my dad from her work. I am 28 she is one year younger. We both live on our own. She tells me she likes me and is very shy about kissing. We have what I feel intimate moments at times when we look at each other in the eyes. I want to play my cards right and let her be my one true love. We were supposed to go with her brothers wife to yard sales around town this morning like we talked about last night and I drove over their and it was like she didn't want me to be noticed like she just blew me off but I could tell she didn't want to be like that. I dont know what to do or where we are. She said she just wants to be good friends for now and nothing real serious but I consider grinding on me in the pool holding hands and kissing to be semi-serious. Any advice guys/gals? Sincerely Thanks!
Serenitynow Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 She probably has a few other guys just like you to play around with. .
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 I have seriously already asked her that. She told me straight up her last confrentation with her ex was not a good one and she isn't talking to anyone. I know this makes her sound rough but she is a beautiful girl that works as a car mechanic from her family business. I trust her when she said she isn't talking to anyone else. What kinda moves or what are the right things to say to help us build on our relationship that I can do or that I can improve on is really what i'm hoping to get from you guys. Thanks for the fast replys! mucho helpful!
Diezel Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Stop talking to her. Find someone else. She is NOT your one true love. If this were Super Mario Bros... your Princess would be in another castle.
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 And the reason I asked her that is because we went 3 days without seeing each other and you can just kinda feel like something is shaky or is wrong. Does she feel i'm moving to fast? Is that a viable excuse in this case? You guys.. this is the sweetest girl I've met in over 4 years. I can't help but to feel like we are meant for something great. I got that feeling ya'know? I feel its there I just want to be cautious and make all the right moves.
Diezel Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 FFS. Get a grip. LOOK. Everything seems right but yet I feel something is holding her back from me. It makes me feel depressed at times. The rest of the post will detail what it is that is holding her back. What are the kind of things she is looking for and what am I not providing? We have known each other for only two weeks but it turns out when we met she already knew my dad from her work. I am 28 she is one year younger. We both live on our own. Two WEEKS and you are already talking about her being your one true love. You're needy, desperate, and clinging to someone who you probably haven't even had sex with. She tells me she likes me and is very shy about kissing. A divorced woman... shy about kissing?? NO. What she meant is that she's "shy" about kissing YOU. Which means, she probably won't be kissing you much. We have what I feel intimate moments at times when we look at each other in the eyes. I want to play my cards right and let her be my one true love. Ohhhhhh you two look into each other's eyes!?!?! Well, I was crossing the street today and I saw a cat, and it looked at me... straight in the eyes... it might be my one true love TOO! This means NOTHING. If the most intimate moment you've shared with a woman is how you've looked into each other's eyes... in two weeks, then there's something definitely NOT right. Two WEEKS and you are talking about her being your one true love. Sheesh. We were supposed to go with her brothers wife to yard sales around town this morning like we talked about last night and I drove over their and it was like she didn't want me to be noticed like she just blew me off but I could tell she didn't want to be like that. I dont know what to do or where we are. She said she just wants to be good friends for now and nothing real serious but I consider grinding on me in the pool holding hands and kissing to be semi-serious. She is NOT into you. She said she wants to be friends. She doesn't want YOU as a boyfriend. GET IT? If you consider grinding in a pool and kissing as markers to a serious relationship, then you are truly grasping at straws here. SHES NOT INTO YOU. She friendzoned you and you aren't going to be able to do much about it. Don't worry, you'll probably learn the hard way once she starts talking to you about the new guy she'll be going out with soon.
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 Diezel... ur being a little too negative man. Lighten up some on us. We got puppy love just looking for some advice. Why did she tell me she like me a lot. Why does she compliment me on the way I am with her God-Daughter? I think she is just that type. You dont understand this is a sweet southern belle by the book girl. Very nice and sweet. Old fashioned. Not someone I met at a bar.
Diezel Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Because she wants to string you along. She already knows she HAS you, so she's gonna keep you on the side while she tries to find someone better. If she exhausts all other options, then she'll come back to you, as the "safe" option. But, you don't need advice, from what I see, after 3 weeks, you seem to have her all figured out. Make sure to email me when you post a thread about how she's seeing other men even though she knew she liked you.
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 Diezel sorry if I mislead you on my post. I am looking for encouragement and hope on building this relationship. This is a special kind of girl that I really like and I KNOW LIKES ME as well. I'm looking to go forward with her until a direct U turn or a stop sign flags me along the way. Not looking to immediately put is in file cabinet 13 lol na'mean?
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 Dude are you trying to make me drown myself in whiskey?
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 Two WEEKS and you are already talking about her being your one true love. You're needy, desperate, and clinging to someone who you probably haven't even had sex with. Maybe.. Maybe... and no we have not. She is a more straight shooter like I mentioned before. But desperate you say? She is 27 and both parents are dead. Both of mine are alive and she see's my dad on deliveries probly 3 to 4 times a week. Maybe she is a little jealous of what I have? Do you have anything constructive to say?
Diezel Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Do you have anything constructive to say? Not anymore. I used all of my constructive advice in the replies above. Now, I'm just using up filler time by posting this.
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 One more thing... When she first contacted me from the ad i listed she first mentioned she was just looking for someone to be friends with. But it was from a single man looking for a single woman ad. What do you make of that?
Author nebri8ted Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 I'm not limiting myself. I'm going on a first date tonight with a girl I met from match.com. We are meeting at applebee's at 6. I need to stop drinking and get my head on straight. Any women reading my post please shed some light on my situation if you will please i'm begging you.
Confusedalways Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Yikes. Nebria8ted you seem nice and all but, Diezel has a point here... I'm pretty conservative when it comes to relationships but after 2 weeks not kissing someone? That's... friendzone. It sounds like she is going through a lot and isn't fully ready to jump into a relationship with someone yet. I mean, that's great she compliments you on how you are with her god daughter, but I compliment strangers on how well they treat their kids/ nieces / nephews, and that doesn't mean I'm interested in them. I guess since you're looking for advice to make it work-- all I can really say is ASK why she seems to reserved and try to get to the root of the issue. But unfortunately for you, I don't think Diezel is far off the mark, when I tell someone "we are just good friends," I'm really saying I would never be interested in you romantically. Dropping the friends thing is REALLY a killer for men.
that girl Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 I think the guys are being a little too harsh here, but it sounds like you might be coming on too strong and/or she isn't ready. I also have a few questions, what is your cultural background? I'm getting the feeling English is not your native language and there could be some cultural issues going on here. Did you meet her on the dating side of Craig's List? It sounds like you might be coming on a little too strong. If you're both on the same page, seeing each other all the time can be great. But if she is busy or seems like she needs a break, three days isn't a long time to go without a date.
mixwell Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 I hate to be on the negative bandwagon with Diezel but dude I think you're WAY overlooking all of the tiny things she says/does. I do have to agree with Diezel though and you only knowing her for a few weeks isn't really much ground to walk on here. The ONLY reason I feel like you may be a back up plan is that this womens WORDS aren't representing her ACTIONS.. I've been in that boat where women will say this and that to keep you there as a safety net but act totally opposite.. IF this chick was 100% into you she wouldn't feel "shy" about kissing or seemingly blow you off at that yard sale.. By you mentioning her parents being dead and her possibly being jealous is just your way to justify what could be wrong and by doing that you are only beating yourself up dude.. Diezel may appear to be an arsehole in his posts but I agree with his input and he is just being blunt and honest and I cannot argue against ANYTHING he has said to tell you the truth. You won't accept it though because you've let your emotions get involved and I've been in your boat with a chick i was with 7 years and read all these little signs/sayings thinking there could be a chance and people would tell me I was being naive and stupid and in retrospect I was reading into it to much... Hell I'm even doing it now with another scenario in which I posted.. It's stupid to do this to yourself and sometimes if you take the unattached, unemotional, 3rd party look you'd see that the advice is sound but your EMOTIONS are what tell you "ahh they don't know my exact situation there is a loop hole that is different for me" and sadly dude its wrong.. They're most likely correct but YOU and only YOU can come to that conclusion once you've had enough and THEN and only then you will step back and think "damn you know what ? Diezel was right" or whoever was right. As the old saying goes "actions speak louder than words" and this chick does not seem like she is dedicated.. Hell by her saying she wants to be friends and not move fast is basically saying she doesn't want anything serious at the moment but you are failing at picking up on her hints.. She is keeping you just within distance so if she needs a safety net... That is just my 2 pennies from what you've told us.
mixwell Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 It sounds like you might be coming on a little too strong. If you're both on the same page, seeing each other all the time can be great. But if she is busy or seems like she needs a break, three days isn't a long time to go without a date. Totally agree. Women can smell desperate and clingy from a mile away and you've only known her 3 weeks and say she could be the true love... This right here screams that your'e WAY to clingy and if you've projected this in your words/actions and she has picked up on this THAT could be THE reason why she maybe action a little distant from you.. A sure fire way to shoot yourself in the foot with a new person is to just cling to them, it will make them RUN from you because nobody likes a desperate, clingy person. I would HIGHLY advise trying to just not contact her for a week and see what happens.. If she doesn't contact you back it's a clear sign, if she does then don't get all head over heels but just keep it simple dude.. Hell you've only known each other 3 weeks, you have no idea on WHO this chick REALLY is or what she is REALLY like.. It's impossible.
jamal Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Dude, some prudes might flame me for this but I will have to tell you straight up: 2 weeks of spending time with a woman and not laying pipe is the surest way to the friendzone. Remember, this woman was once married and probably had sex hundreds of times. Therefore, it is not like you will be asking her to do something she has never done before. Your biggest mistake was not having sex with her. Women are conditioned to believe that men are horny bastards who think with their dikks. Whether a particular woman will want to give this horny bastard what he wants is one thing but I can guarantee you that every woman expects this type of behavior from men. failure to exhibit such behaviou emasculates you in the eyes of this woman especially in your case where you have even kissed the woman.
mixwell Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Dude, some prudes might flame me for this but I will have to tell you straight up: 2 weeks of spending time with a woman and not laying pipe is the surest way to the friendzone. Remember, this woman was once married and probably had sex hundreds of times. Therefore, it is not like you will be asking her to do something she has never done before. Your biggest mistake was not having sex with her. Women are conditioned to believe that men are horny bastards who think with their dikks. Whether a particular woman will want to give this horny bastard what he wants is one thing but I can guarantee you that every woman expects this type of behavior from men. failure to exhibit such behaviou emasculates you in the eyes of this woman especially in your case where you have even kissed the woman. I agree dude !! Soo many times I've heard women say "typical guy" or that I am being perverse or "all i think of is sex" and hell this a stereotype for a reason.. Us guys are horny and we project it so it shouldn't be a surprise.. Hell after all we BOTH know what we would like in the physical end game haah
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