soulsister Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 As I sit here reading all these other threads, I can not help but think that I am not as abnormal as I thought I was. About 2 months ago, MM of 5 years discovered my A with the OM that had been going on for about 3 months after he accidently went through our phone bill. I never intented to fall in love with the OM but it just happened and the sexual chemistry between us is like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life. That has been an ongoing battle that MM and I have struggled with for years. At first I thought our 20 min max sex was all because of me and the physical pain it caused me because I would 'dry out' but then after a 3 hour session nonstop with OM (3 different times) and it was the most exhilerating experience I have ever had I realized I was not abnormal in the bedroom. After the whole mess went down, and both my husband and OM's wife talked I decided it was best to seek therapy and try to work things out with MM and also because OM has 2 children that he needs to work things through with. Yet after now 2 months of therapy I still feel something missing and MM also does, saying he feels like we are best friends and that is it. We have had no sexual contact since our trip, which was one 3 min sex b/c he came real quick. How can I feel in love intimately with my MM? I do not know what to do?
U2RockZz Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 (edited) you could have married to a porn star, i don't think anybody can have sex for 3 hrs non stop(even with Viagra effect )....so better get a divorce....date your OM(is he a ex porn star...???) Edited June 26, 2010 by U2RockZz
anne1707 Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Soulsister You may be better posting in the Infidelity forum if you are after attempting to recover your marriage. Also - when you say MM, I assume you mean your husband. On LS, MM usually means a married man who is having an affair so that may cause confusion - the usual abbreviation is H for husband. It can all be confusing when you first come here. You may well get some flak too but you will also get some good advice if you stick around.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 You cannot even begin to hope for intimate connection and pleasure with your husband until OM is a distant memory - so distant that you have trouble remembering his face. It takes time, and rock solid NC with the OP before your marriage can begin to approach some sort of reconciliation. As it is now, your husband is only "not MM". Until you can get rid of the part of your mind that keeps you in a constant state of "not MM" you will be stuck in this awful limbo. The first step is cutting off all, and I mean ALL contact with OM and it has to be permanent - as if he is dead. It is only when he is truly dead to you that you will get back on some sort of track with your husband.
bestplayer Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 As I sit here reading all these other threads, I can not help but think that I am not as abnormal as I thought I was. About 2 months ago, MM of 5 years discovered my A with the OM that had been going on for about 3 months after he accidently went through our phone bill. I never intented to fall in love with the OM but it just happened and the sexual chemistry between us is like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life. That has been an ongoing battle that MM and I have struggled with for years. At first I thought our 20 min max sex was all because of me and the physical pain it caused me because I would 'dry out' but then after a 3 hour session nonstop with OM (3 different times) and it was the most exhilerating experience I have ever had I realized I was not abnormal in the bedroom. After the whole mess went down, and both my husband and OM's wife talked I decided it was best to seek therapy and try to work things out with MM and also because OM has 2 children that he needs to work things through with. Yet after now 2 months of therapy I still feel something missing and MM also does, saying he feels like we are best friends and that is it. We have had no sexual contact since our trip, which was one 3 min sex b/c he came real quick. How can I feel in love intimately with my MM? I do not know what to do? ok your story is very confusing , are there men in the picture ? husband ,MM & OM ?
Corporate Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 As I sit here reading all these other threads, I can not help but think that I am not as abnormal as I thought I was. About 2 months ago, MM of 5 years discovered my A with the OM that had been going on for about 3 months after he accidently went through our phone bill. I never intented to fall in love with the OM but it just happened and the sexual chemistry between us is like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life. That has been an ongoing battle that MM and I have struggled with for years. At first I thought our 20 min max sex was all because of me and the physical pain it caused me because I would 'dry out' but then after a 3 hour session nonstop with OM (3 different times) and it was the most exhilerating experience I have ever had I realized I was not abnormal in the bedroom. After the whole mess went down, and both my husband and OM's wife talked I decided it was best to seek therapy and try to work things out with MM and also because OM has 2 children that he needs to work things through with. Yet after now 2 months of therapy I still feel something missing and MM also does, saying he feels like we are best friends and that is it. We have had no sexual contact since our trip, which was one 3 min sex b/c he came real quick. How can I feel in love intimately with my MM? I do not know what to do? Are you the OW (Other Woman aka Mistress) cheating with a MM (Married Man aka someone's husband) for 5 years, but now, you're cheating on your MM with a OM (Other Man) and you like the sex with the OM, who is also married? I think this is what you wrote, but this is what you meant: You are married to your husband for 5 years, but you have been cheating with a married man for three months. You like the sex with the married other man, but the married other man has a wife and kids. Right? I am so smart.
Author soulsister Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Thank you all for the advice. Sorry I was a bit confused by the lingo here. Yes 'Corporate' you are correct. I have been married to my husband for 5 years, but cheating with a married man for three months. I like sex with the married other man, but the married other man has a wife and kids. Someone said I should try my posts in the infidelity category. I will do that, sorry if I offended anyone here. I really do want to work out things with my H. I have not talked to the other MM in over a month now but it is killing me inside still. It is like there is still something missing here. My H and I have not had much intimacy in a long time. I forgot to mention that I found out that my husband watches porn, smokes and chews behind my back all of which had I known about before marrying him I might not have done so. He is working on these things but I still feel so detached still.
U2RockZz Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 he watches porn, he not banging porn stars, on the other side you had sex with somebody else who seems to be a ex porn star to me based on your description.....\ of course he wouldn't have married to you if had known you as a cheater.....don't get indignant....don't put up an act if you are not interested in this guy....get a divorce....which would save him lots of time,energy,money
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