hearttobreak Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Met this woman a few months ago. Things started off really good, but as of late, have hit a bumpy road. She's going through some financial issues, having problems with finalizing her divorce (legally separated), and has a few medical conditions. Fine with all of that, but she has suddenly over the last two weeks become distant and a bit cold. During sex, strangely enough, she said in the middle, I am not really interested, but lets take care of you. I pulled out and said I'll pass. Sex is better when two people are enjoying it, not one and the other is just laying there doing nothing. Next night we had dinner over at her place. Her son had a friend over (14 yrs each) and we all had dinner. I also brought over some apple pie. Her sons favorite. She was still unhappy and grumpy. Not touching or hugging. A kiss was a quick peck and she pulled away. I said, when we are alone for a bit, what's wrong. She said nothing you can help with. That is fine, but I can be supportive emotionally for you. She said she's unhappy with her situation. Mid 30s, divorced twice, renting, no money, mountains of debt, medical conditions (U.C., thyroid, auto-immune) I said, we can work through it. She said, yea, but I don't deserve you. I know I am not treating you like I should, and it bothers me (she said this). Its just been a tough two weeks and I'll be fine. I said, are you still interested in me? She said she doesn't know. Do you still want to be with me? She said she doesn't know. She said, right now, I just do not know if I can be there for you emotionally, like I should. I said, do you want me to leave? She said, she doesn't know. I then said, you really need to think and tell me what you want. Kissed her good night and left. The next day, she send me an e-mail saying she was so sorry on how she's been acting for the last couple of weeks. Life has been really stressful. I will try to work at it and not let it get to me as much. If you want to leave, I will understand, but I would rather we work at it. I then replied, I would like to work at things. She's seemed to have gotten better and most positive over the last couple of days. We will be spending time together tomorrow and Sunday, so I will see how she is. Another issue. An ex-girl friend, contacted me and wanted to get together night and talk. I said, sure, but as friends. She said do you like me still? I said I am in a relationship, but as a friend, I said sure. Have not seen her in over a year, so the call was out of the blue. I would like to just hang out and see whats going on with her. I do not stray when I am already with someone. Or should I cancel and make it another time? I am confused and do not know what to do. On one hand, I still very much care about the current woman I am seeing for the last few months. On the other hand, she has a lot of issues that seem (rightfully so) take up her time nearly 90%. When everything is good or okay, she's a pleasure to deal with. When things are bad for her, its like the earth is boiling over. She said she's not depressed, just overly stressed. Has little friends as most of the time is spend with her son.
Sarasita Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 I can understand what you are going through. I am dating a guy who is also going through some financial issues, although we are in our early 20's. And as of late he has been very distant and quiet and has said "i just want to be alone" and "you deserve better". I myself am not sure if he is just saying that as in he has lost interest me, or just wants to keep his options open. He has opened up alot to me, but has not been txting me or calling or anything lately , and i reallllyyyyyyyyy care about him! I thing maybe the timing is just off. In terms of your situation, it possible she is just depressed, my mom went through depression and no matter how much we told her we loved her and wanted to support her she just kept isolating herself from everyone. Deep down im sure she loves you, all you can do is be there for her when she starts to come around, and do subtle things to remind her how much you love her, she will appreciate it! Whether you choose to move on to someone else, you'll have to trust your gutt on that one!
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