solefunknfresh Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 We have been together for 9 months. Officially 5 months. Long distance was a first for both of us. He is 24 and I am 22. broken up now almost a month. My ex was pretty insecure. He had two exes that cheated on him. his last ex was 6 years but he had no insecurity issues with her because she was always around and controlling his life.There has been times when he would snoop on my phone and find texts from guys. He has always told me " promise me it's nothing. i love you too much. please don't hurt me, i wouldn't now how to deal with it." he told me he was really scared but he still loved me alot. Recently, he snooped on my fb and saw that a guy had asked me to go to lunch and i had given my number. i had told the guy i was taken though and was just trying to be friends. i can see why my ex was mad when he saw this. the weird thing is he didn't really confront me right away. he was mad, and said he didn't care. he told me "he was tired of feeling this way. " i panicked and kept asking if he was going to break up with me and he said "i don't know." that night, we had to go to his friend's graduation. i panicked and suggested "let's just be great friends till you figure out what to do." later on when i apologized and said i didn't really mean it...he told me "i was really confused why you asked that..and my instinct was to go with it cuz i was mad." before i left, he just said "we are friends. you made me choose. i need time. i don't want to do anything irrational. " for two weeks, i showed how much i missed him and loved him. he would text me if i didn't respond to his texts. i flew back to see him and i broke down and asked for a second chance. however, he said " i don't want to get back with you just because i don't want to see you sad. I'm not sure if i'm ready to be in a relationship again. i still love you. i still need time. sometimes i still get mad thinking about the message" recently, i snooped on his aim and found a convo between his good girl friend that made me so mad and indifferent and see a different side of him. In the convo, my ex had sent her a email that had my personal feelings in it. Another thing was that the ex told the girl that i was waiting for him and he did not know why.this is a lie because he told me that he didn't make up his mind yet and he was still texting and calling me. [although he insisted he didn't to his friend] also when the friend had asked him if he wanted to get back with me, he said he didn't. also, in the convo, he sounded like he was flirting. i confronted him and he said he had said everything because he was so mad and bitter against me. he said he was just looking for that kind of advice when he was mad. and still said he had not made a decision. in the end, when he dropped me at the airport, i think we both kinda just said "we'll be friends right now." but i kinda was still saying, we'll be friends, and maybe in the future, something will happen. Timing: broke up around memorial day weekend so end of may. he had a family trip to the Philippines lined up around June 17th, and hasn't gone back for 3 years. won't be back till july 4th. MOST RECENT CONTACT: Before he left for his trip, he had given me a facebook message: "Hey! Just wanted to say sorry for disrespecting you. I wasnt thinking and i regret everything i did. You really made me smile whenever i was with you. I know i have to get over my problems and let go. You were a great GF and i still do have love for you. thanks for everything Bee. I know we will be really good bestest friends. haha. This is best for both of us. Well just wanted to say sorry again before i leave for the Philippines. Also, any request for what you want? a pound of Ding Dongs? haha Alright Bee. I will see you sometime in the summer and we still need to go Magic Mountain. Be safe, have fun, no freaking (haha jk) but take care of yourself..I know you can because you're such a strong girl. Alright Bee. BYE!" i didn't respond to this and the next morning, he sent me an im saying "hey. i'm at the HK airport. you're probably sleeping. just wanted to say HI! ok bye." 3 days after, i just responded to the im saying "hey. got your msg. was busy moving and everything else. probably won't be online at the same time. hope you have fun in the PI. most likely, talk to you when you get back." Thoughts: is his last message really a goodbye note and that he has closed the door on reconciliation? should i proceed with NC or LC? should i be friends and see where that takes us? should i tell him in person or email that i can't be friends with him while i still have feelings? is there anything i can do at this point? have i already messed up my chances? is he just bouncing the idea of being friends with me to see if he made the right decision? But has he really moved on to just being friends? is it possible the vacation will give him time to clear his head, or just to move on?? did he just not want to deal with me before his vacation? should i wait and see what happens after he comes back? everything is just a misunderstanding and i wish he would give us another chance.
GrayClouds Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Read and do the following and everything will work out for the best: So you want a second chance? good luck
Author solefunknfresh Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 should i tell him that i cannot be friends? or just nc?
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