McGrupp Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 in a perfect world a letter where you tell the other person how much you blah blah blah and blah blah (you know, mushy stuff) would make them say hey this person really cares for me, and i should do something about it. however it seems to have the absolute opposite affect. what about human psychology puts people off about ones expression of feelings for another. and by this i mean someone who you did spend substantial time with and they said they loved you multiple times, not a creepy love letter from the dude next to her in class. hmmmm....
TaraMaiden Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Either you're writing them wrong, or they're reading them wrong. I love it when my partner writes to me...
Username37 Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 I wrote to my ex. I told her how I was treating this break-up. I told her instead of moping around, I was trying to find and fix the mistakes I made during the relationship. I apologized for taking her for granted and all the tears and stress I gave her. I also told her how much I loved her for her and how we both accepted our faults and strengths which made us good. At the end, I gave her time to think about everything said and if she could forgive me and give the relationship another go. Called the next day. Simple no. Then she proceeded to talk trash about me. I thought as I was writing the letter that my ex would just change her mind and say "he cares for me, I should go back to him!" Whatever. It's not bugging me anymore because now I have closure.
hopesndreams Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 in a perfect world a letter where you tell the other person how much you blah blah blah and blah blah (you know, mushy stuff) would make them say hey this person really cares for me, and i should do something about it. however it seems to have the absolute opposite affect. what about human psychology puts people off about ones expression of feelings for another. and by this i mean someone who you did spend substantial time with and they said they loved you multiple times, not a creepy love letter from the dude next to her in class. hmmmm.... Because they emotionally feel nothing for you.
northstar1 Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Writing letters to ex's often come from a place of memory fueled nostalgia. When we write them, we hope it takes them back in time to when things were happy in the hopes it will bring those memories back to the present and make them miss us, or think about us. However, in my experience, it rarely results in that. Most don't like to be taken to the past and the feelings associated with it have either disappated or they are happy with their new lives without their ex. The crushing disappointment comes from when you pour your heart out with emotion and memories, and it is met with indifference or a neutral acknowledgement. Thats why it's best to write them and never send them.
GrayClouds Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Because often letters are not about giving but receiving. Under all the rationalization, most "feelings" letters are written for approval, forgiveness, or confirmation. They a saying these are my feeling and in the very very small print demanding the receiver "do something about it." ps good to see you around Mc. .
Ronni_W Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 in a perfect world a letter where you tell the other person how much you blah blah blah and blah blah (you know, mushy stuff) would make them say hey this person really cares for me, and i should do something about it. Or. In a perfect world, people would express their truths without any expectations or self-interested agendas? I don't think it is that people are automatically put off when others express their feelings, needs, desires, etc. But it is very off-putting when one knows or suspects that the 'expresser' is really only looking out for her or his own interests/wants, without any genuine regard for what the 'listener' feels, needs or desires. I don't think that the quantity or quality of time each has spent with the other in the past ought to be a factor.
Author McGrupp Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iacmRtqrGY
GrayClouds Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iacmRtqrGY Amen my brother
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