OKCupid

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Anyone else use this site? I was using match.com for a year and it made me HATE dating. This site seems like a lot more fun with all the questions, and I'm noticing a WAY better response rate already than I ever had on match. The only bad thing I notice so far is that there is a major abundance of extremely fat girls on this site. I mean wow, there's a TON of them. It's all good, I probably won't go on any dates but maybe I can make some new friends or something. Best thing about it, it's FREE!!

 

Why even comment on how many overweight people are on a site no one twists your arm to contact them do they? im not trying to blast you I just don't see the point of that part.

[Ruby Slippers]

OK, so I just reinstated my profile at OKCupid that I set up years ago to take that personality test because a friend was pestering me to. I had to change my location because I was living in a different country back then!

 

I looked at a few profiles, but no one jumped out at me. Some of the profiles were hilarious and stupid -- like this one guy who's super pretentious, had 5,462 bands and movies on his profile, and clearly thinks he's the most fascinating person ever.

 

I haven't put ANYTHING on my profile, no picture, nothing but very basic stats. And someone winked at me within hours of updating my location. haha

 

But I still think the whole thing is weird weird weird. No judgment. Just... so mechanical to me.

[kalikula]

I've tried both PoF and OKCupid.

 

I found OKCupid to have a better pleasing aesthetic, more popular with people my age (very early 20s) and the chat feature definitely made it better. I really liked that because you could just have a conversation with someone more naturally than a series of emails, IMO.

[jamal]

I guess I have been uber lucky on dating sites. Actually my chances increase than in real life since dating sites are like shooting fish in a barrel - all the women there are available and looking for a man. Whereas in RL you have no idea if the woman you are approaching has a boyfriend or even interested in a relationship at this point in time.

 

For me it has always been the free sites and maybe one thing that has helped me is my height (5'11 or can also pass for 6'). I heard that on those sites women basically pre screen men based on height (which is a bit shallow IMO).

 

PoF is a really good one. I live in a metropolitan of 2 million and i get 600 results for women meeting my age requirements. Just for the fun of it I decided to do a search for males using the exact same criteria and the results were also more or less the same as those of the females (in terms of numbers). Anyway, I am an equal opportunity dater and my search was for all races.

[ecto-1]

Anyone else use this site? I was using match.com for a year and it made me HATE dating. This site seems like a lot more fun with all the questions, and I'm noticing a WAY better response rate already than I ever had on match. The only bad thing I notice so far is that there is a major abundance of extremely fat girls on this site. I mean wow, there's a TON of them. It's all good, I probably won't go on any dates but maybe I can make some new friends or something. Best thing about it, it's FREE!!

 

Surprisingly, I've been getting some responses (and some dates) lately. I went out with a woman last night that I had been talking to for a couple of weeks (we didn't see each other sooner, because we had conflicting schedules at the time) but when we got together, she was as cool in person as she was online. We had a lot in common (into the same stuff I was into) and same kind of personality level. He was the overly needy type.

 

She was actually not wanting to see me because apparently some guy she met freaked her out, they had met in person, and he was acting like they were an established couple on their first date, putting his meat hooks all over her and calling her pet names already.

 

Then after the date, he would text her repeatedly and constantly, she didn't know how to deal with it. It was a good thing she met me like she did, because she said she took her personal ad down for this reason...she said she still had a ton of emails in her inbox, and she was like "that's it, no more!"

 

One douche bag almost ruined it for me because of it, but I assured her that I would not do that with her, that I was kind of shy when getting physical with a woman, and I respect a woman's boundaries, etc

 

I put her at ease, and I was able to get her to see me. Yay! lol She was as gorgeous as she was in person as she was online and I felt no awkward moments either like I feel on some "blind" internet dates (I sometimes call internet dates "blind dates" because you're meeting people cold turkey)

 

So we'll see what happens from there. On the first date, I didn't want to make any sudden moves because of what the last ******* did to her.

[alexlakeman]

Why even comment on how many overweight people are on a site no one twists your arm to contact them do they? im not trying to blast you I just don't see the point of that part.

 

It's a head's up to d rest of us of the fatties.

[LivingInMomsBasement]

I'm on OkCupid! ...mostly for the fun tests and talking with people that are just interesting....and yes, there are some weirdos out there. Just have fun with it....

[Shakz]

I prefer pof, and recently I tried averdate, it's new, not bad. The girls there quite decent and got a few reply.

 

Hmm, I looked at that one and before I could even do a search some woman named Emily wanted to chat. I got the impression she wanted to sell me a premium membership. I don't like that sort of in-your-face marketing so I think I'll pass on Averdate.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

It's a head's up to d rest of us of the fatties.

 

How charming no wonder some are single lol

[Stung]

I notice whenever there's posts like these on message board with the "I met my boyfriend online dating", you NEVER hear of a man saying "I met my girlfriend online dating" simply because it's much more rare for a dude to meet a meaningful woman online unlike a previous poster said "a good looking supermodel dude" which I'm not. Oh well, sometimes relationships annoy me anyways. Eventhough I want to make someone happy someday and I feel like I have a lot to offer, none of that really matters to anyone, and I can be happy doing other things.

 

Logical fallacy.

 

Unless you think there's just one or two guys workin' hard sharing all these ladies, it can't possibly be more rare for a man to meet a meaningful woman online than it is for a woman to meet a meaningful man online. IDK, I guess I could be deluded but I suspect my husband finds our relationship meaningful, and I'm pretty sure he's not also Pandagirl's boyfriend.

[Stung]

OK, so I just reinstated my profile at OKCupid that I set up years ago to take that personality test because a friend was pestering me to. I had to change my location because I was living in a different country back then!

 

I looked at a few profiles, but no one jumped out at me. Some of the profiles were hilarious and stupid -- like this one guy who's super pretentious, had 5,462 bands and movies on his profile, and clearly thinks he's the most fascinating person ever.

 

I haven't put ANYTHING on my profile, no picture, nothing but very basic stats. And someone winked at me within hours of updating my location. haha

 

But I still think the whole thing is weird weird weird. No judgment. Just... so mechanical to me.

 

It's a little weird, honestly. I was a little uncomfortable with it, at first--you and I are roughly the same age I think and grew up smug teens snickering at the desperates in the lonely hearts section of the newspapers, right? Anyway, I filled out my profile, answered a buttload of personal questions, and mostly used the site for quizzes and social networking, had fun with it. When I moved to a new city, I used it to make new friends, and that worked out really well.

 

I was kind of negative about the likelihood of meeting someone romantically through a dating site, so I didn't take that aspect too seriously. I guess I was one of those b*tches the guys on here complain about because I didn't respond to the vast majority of notes and winks sent; I paid attention to the match logarithm, and only responded to people who matched me at 90% or higher, even for friendships, and then only if I thought their notes were clever and their profiles interesting. I still dated and hung out with people I met IRL and just considered OkC an interesting experiment, and a tool. I was active OkC for about a year and a half in two different metro areas, I only actually physically met about six potential romantic partners. One date was absolutely disastrous, a couple were just meh, one I dated casually for six months, two I am still in touch with and consider good friends, and the last guy I married. My husband was a match of 98% for me; we were each other's highest match within 1000 miles. So IMO the match parameters actually worked incredibly well.

[Diezel]

I met my current girlfriend on Match.com.

 

I honestly put up a profile just to please my sister, who insisted that after a year of being single, maybe I wouldn't be so miserable if I went out with someone.

 

Lo and behold, Match.com started making me MORE miserable.

It's a numbers game that will ultimately kill any self-respecting male's self-esteem. You better have your head in check because this site COULD very well destroy you.

 

All of a sudden, women that YOU wouldn't give the time of day are turning you down left and right. But I wouldn't want to be the guy who opens his inbox and there's 700 vultures DAILY saying how hot I look... which btw, is what happens to women.

 

I met my current g/f and immediately knew she was completely incompatible with me. She was beautiful, but too shy, too quiet, too reserved, didn't drink, amongst other things.

 

Yeah, I was wrong. She couldn't be MORE compatible for me than some of the other women I had met there on Match.com.

 

So far, 6 months and running strong.

 

STILL, I advocate RL experiences over dating sites. I wouldn't EVER do it again.

[Confusedalways]

OK, so I just reinstated my profile at OKCupid that I set up years ago to take that personality test because a friend was pestering me to. I had to change my location because I was living in a different country back then!

 

I looked at a few profiles, but no one jumped out at me. Some of the profiles were hilarious and stupid -- like this one guy who's super pretentious, had 5,462 bands and movies on his profile, and clearly thinks he's the most fascinating person ever.

 

I haven't put ANYTHING on my profile, no picture, nothing but very basic stats. And someone winked at me within hours of updating my location. haha

 

But I still think the whole thing is weird weird weird. No judgment. Just... so mechanical to me.

 

I totally know where you're coming from. I literally have a dead blank profile with the exception of my age and maybe my sign, and I have gotten 3 or 4 messages with "heyyy what's up." I also think it's really weird, in one of those "cool for other people but not for me, yet I'm doing it anyway" kind of ways. A lot of people list on their profile they think it's weird too, so you're not the only one. You just have to be willing to get past it, I guess

 

I'm curious to hear about your eventual finds, though!!

[alexlakeman]

I signed up on okcupid last night.. there was some selection in my area, but I prefer Match.. much better, more variety, more members...

 

Okcupid does have those cool questions, etc... I liked that... but as for choices and variety? Stick to Match or one of the other leading onlnie dating sights..

[Ruby Slippers]

It's a little weird, honestly. I was a little uncomfortable with it, at first--you and I are roughly the same age I think and grew up smug teens snickering at the desperates in the lonely hearts section of the newspapers, right?

Haha! Yes. I'm 33, btw.

 

My husband was a match of 98% for me; we were each other's highest match within 1000 miles. So IMO the match parameters actually worked incredibly well.

Interesting! I will have to think about it.

 

I'm curious to hear about your eventual finds, though!!

Knowing me, I will have to think this over quite a bit before I go for it. There are many things that hold me back. For one, I own a business and feel weird about plastering my face on a dating site. I even have to ask my friends to use discretion when posting my pictures in their various accounts, because I have had a couple of weirdo clients over the years who have cyberstalked me and turned up the most obscure information on me.

 

Also, a good friend of mine finally decided to try out online dating a couple of years ago. I think she was on Match. She met a great guy who seemed like such a good match for her, but a year into the relationship, he revealed his intense anger issues. The relationship didn't last much longer, and he ended up writing up her this hateful letter that, among other things, said "F*** you"!!!

 

I know you can find crazy people with big old skeletons in the closet everywhere, but this story really freaked me out. I don't think she has gone back to online dating.

[homersheineken]

 

Internet Dating is BAD for men.

 

 

This is just dumb.

 

ONLINE DATING IS SKEWED FOR WOMEN. That is a FACT the way I see it.

 

Then obviously it isn't a fact...

[ecto-1]

Haha! Yes. I'm 33, btw.

 

 

I even have to ask my friends to use discretion when posting my pictures in their various accounts, because I have had a couple of weirdo clients over the years who have cyberstalked me and turned up the most obscure information on me.

 

.

 

Actually, this is quite common for even EMPLOYERS to "Cyberstalk" ya. lol Everyone's doing it! LOL

[lolapalooza]

Anyone else use this site? I was using match.com for a year and it made me HATE dating. This site seems like a lot more fun with all the questions, and I'm noticing a WAY better response rate already than I ever had on match. The only bad thing I notice so far is that there is a major abundance of extremely fat girls on this site. I mean wow, there's a TON of them. It's all good, I probably won't go on any dates but maybe I can make some new friends or something. Best thing about it, it's FREE!!

I have a dear friend who met her now husband on OkCupid. My friend and i are not fat by any means. I tried it out for a month or so, but kept getting winks or chat requests or whatever from either skeevy old farts or young punks just looking to hook up. When I kept getting requests from this loser that didn't have a job and was looking for someone to pay his bills (hey, that's what his profile said!), I gave up on dating sites.

 

I think you meet better people by networking anyway.

[VertexSquared]

I think online dating is extremely efficient if you know how to leverage it properly. I spent a decent amount of time scouring the net and asking for advice for how to improve my profile -- tossing in things that people would find interesting that would allow my profile to stand out.

 

According to my girlfriend (who I met on eH almost 2.5 months ago), most of the male profiles were really lame/creepy. Similarly, most of the female profiles were near-empty or simply boring.

 

However, what I like about online dating is that you can pick and choose a lot of elements up front that I wouldn't be able to do in person if approaching someone randomly. I can filter for people who are after a relationship and have a certain type of sense of humor, education, set of interests, etc. Meeting people in bars is just so less efficient/effective.

 

It would also seem that, in general, the paid sites are the best value. I really do think you get what you pay for. If you're serious about finding someone, paying for the service will ensure you'll only find people who were also willing to plunk down the dough. You're going to have to sift through a lot of crap on CL or the free dating sites.

[monkey00]

While I agree with some others who say it's better to meet people in real life, it's actually not that easy especially in major metro cities. I've been doing that for awhile after graduating from college -and then I tried online dating on and off for the past 3 years.

 

Don't forget though, in the real world (after college) the singles pool shrink narrowly and as someone else already said, you don't know who's single, who's looking, who has baggage, or if they're even interested in you at all.

 

As for my take on online dating, I used to use OkC for 2 years on and off. I met some interesting people, but from what I've seen and the girls I've met I've noticed people from that website either have baggage or aren't relationship material...and some of them were just cool to hangout with. Of course it's only expected because you get what you pay for which is zero. My female roommate also had some pretty bad experiences with dudes who are overweight or bald constantly emailing her with bad dates. I have more examples of people I know who have had bad experiences.

 

On the other side of pay for dating sites. I gave up on OkC and switched to Match and by the second month I met my current gf, and she was the 2nd person I met off of there. So I've had pretty good experiences with that.

[ecto-1]

Don't forget though, in the real world (after college) the singles pool shrink narrowly and as someone else already said, you don't know who's single, who's looking, who has baggage, or if they're even interested in you at all.

 

BINGO....when I was at my college, the students who were finishing up their bachelors or their last years of their Masters, so many of these people had brand new sparkling wedding bands, or women with engagement rings galore.

 

Guess women go to college for their MRS Degree.LOL But yeah, colleges farm out marriages left and right, after that, it goes down dramatically.

[Brady_to_Moss]

BINGO....when I was at my college, the students who were finishing up their bachelors or their last years of their Masters, so many of these people had brand new sparkling wedding bands, or women with engagement rings galore.

 

Guess women go to college for their MRS Degree.LOL But yeah, colleges farm out marriages left and right, after that, it goes down dramatically.

 

 

While most of that is true..i am going to be a senior in college and graduate this December. Never dated in college because i see so many people cheat on their SO that its just not worth it. My school is small and word travel fast. I know many girls in R's but none are engaged.

[USMCHokie]

I've actually had pretty good success with OKCupid, and I like it better than any of the other dating sites I've tried...I've actually gotten more responses from first messages than non-responses...and I really like their Quickmatch feature that matches you up with members that rate you at 4 or 5 stars...as long as you also rate them the same...that way they're much more likely to respond to a first message than some random person who's seeing your profile for the first time...