mixwell Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 i get whut i want, im top Jesus Chris a troll on this forum ? It's obvious you didn't "get" English class judging by your grammar.. Shouldn't your troll type be on youtube or ebaumsworld for trolling ? This is the wrong website for troll attention.. Seriously.
Author ecto-1 Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 Quit being so traumatic. We are not talking about those type of situations or women. Yeah, it's someone just throwing out a strawman arguement. Very popular, but doesn't hold water in message boards all over.
lolapalooza Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 (edited) I'm in my early 40's with no kids, and I won't date men with school-aged children (minors). I don't want to have to deal with raising someone else's kid, differences in parenting styles, drama with the ex-wife. Unless the guy is just really fantastic, it's just not worth the trouble. Edited June 27, 2010 by lolapalooza
Author ecto-1 Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 I'm in my early 40's with no kids, and I won't date men with school-aged children (minors). I don't want to have to deal with raising someone else's kid, differences in parenting styles, drama with the ex-wife. Unless the guy is just really fantastic, it's just not worth the trouble. Yeah, I kind of have an aged requirement of the kids....if they're HS aged or older, they're kind of low-maint and can be left alone, and typically they have their OWN dating life as well...leaving the single mom to do her dating, too.
soserious1 Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 (edited) I'm a woman in my early 50's, my children are well into adulthood. I've noticed though that many of my peers delayed having children till their late 30's & early to mid 40's.Many have been married & had kids not once but twice, these people are still actively parenting & have lifestyles that reflect this fact. I won't turn down a man with grown children but I'm really not interested in cultivating a serious relationship with anyone who's still rearing kids. I honored my obligations, reared my children into successful adult lives, it was a wonderful period in my life but I am not willing to make the lifestyle changes that being involved with a man with dependent children will bring. My time, my money, these resources are not unlimited & at this stage in my life I'm not willing to share them by signing up to take responsibility for other people's children, nor do I wish to lead anyone on or be forced to engage in an uncomfortable confrontation after I've been seeing someone for a few months & they're feeling that I should be more involved with their kids. The Good ship parenthood made a call to this port but it set sail & moved on a long time ago & I'm quite happy keeping it that way:) Edited June 27, 2010 by soserious1
Author ecto-1 Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 I'm a woman in my early 50's, my children are well into adulthood. I've noticed though that many of my peers delayed having children till their late 30's & early to mid 40's.Many have been married & had kids not once but twice, these people are still actively parenting & have lifestyles that reflect this fact. I won't turn down a man with grown children but I'm really not interested in cultivating a serious relationship with anyone who's still rearing kids. I honored my obligations, reared my children into successful adult lives, it was a wonderful period in my life but I am not willing to make the lifestyle changes that being involved with a man with dependent children will bring. My time, my money, these resources are not unlimited & at this stage in my life I'm not willing to share them by signing up to take responsibility for other people's children, nor do I wish to lead anyone on or be forced to engage in an uncomfortable confrontation after I've been seeing someone for a few months & they're feeling that I should be more involved with their kids. The Good ship parenthood made a call to this port but it set sail & moved on a long time ago & I'm quite happy keeping it that way:) Yeah, I'm 38 and I'm seeing women MY age that have never been married with NO children, if they don't have their OWN kids, they still want them......isn't that kind of risky?
carhill Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Yeah, I'm 38 and I'm seeing women MY age that have never been married with NO children, if they don't have their OWN kids, they still want them......isn't that kind of risky? My mom had me when she was 37 and that was over 50 years ago. Risk is relative. Glad she and dad (43 = old sperm) took the risk. I liked reading soserious1's perspective. Clearly stated. If I had already had children, I'd say exactly the same thing. She also seems to have a mature (not connected at the hip) relationship with her adult children, which to me is a positive sign, and one I alluded to in my prior post in the thread. She lives *her* life and it doesn't revolve around the children/grandchildren. That's what I'm looking for. I love kids but that ship has sailed. Onward
lolapalooza Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Yeah, I'm 38 and I'm seeing women MY age that have never been married with NO children, if they don't have their OWN kids, they still want them......isn't that kind of risky? And then there are those of us ladies in late 30's early 40's that do not want children at all!!
soserious1 Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Yeah, I'm 38 and I'm seeing women MY age that have never been married with NO children, if they don't have their OWN kids, they still want them......isn't that kind of risky? Not always.. a healthy 40 yr old who doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs who's slender & physically fit can have a very healthy pregnancy. If said 40 yr old is also willing to seek reproductive assistance, testing to screen for fetal defects her chances become better. Our society requires more & more in terms of education in order to secure the type of life work that will pay well enough to rear children. Increasing numbers of people delay marriage, child bearing in order to finish advanced degree's & get established in a career. Let's not forget that marrying young, having babies before you're equipped emotionally or fiscally for the sacrifices involved carries it's own set of risks.
Author ecto-1 Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 Another thing I've noticed, women that are in their late 30's and beyond that are single and never married and no kids....typically have become some chronically single due to their pickiness....some haven't probably realized they've reached an age where they shouldn't be picky, but they still are. I find that single mothers of the same age, typically either have learned their lesson from their previous relationship of a cheating husband or abusive husband not to go for that type again, and I think the harsh reality of raisin' kids like changin diapers, wiping runny noses, etc, makes them more grounded in reality and perhaps are able to over look the physical shortcomings of a man....like maybe she'll be more likely to date a short guy or something.
jamal Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Jamal, your exactly the type of man that women want to be with no matter his age because you have a healthy respect for yourself, for women, and for human limitations no matter gender. Women don't want to be with men with Peter-Pan I'm-better-than-women-for x-y- and z" reason attitudes. Because men like this ultimately don't really respect women, and are only thinking of themselves. Everything you said was true. Older fathers do contribute to birth defects just like older mothers. Men experience issues with ED because it's natures way of telling them "they aren't the prime" anymore. I don't really get why a guy would want to wait until he was 50 to have kids. He isn't giving the best of himself biologically to anyone. He isn't thinking about his future children. And he is going to be going to his kid's granduation as a 70 year old man. Thanks for being one of the few men that is honest and real about limitations we all have to deal with in life. I having nothing but respect for you for that. Thanks, Jersey Shortie, for the vote of confidence. I usually like to keep it real when it comes to life in general.
Author ecto-1 Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 If I date a single mother, I'm more of a "I'll take 'em or leave 'em" kind of attitude about her kids. I don't necessarily dislike kids, but more kind of okay with them. I'm not much for forming emotional attachments to other peoples kids, that's why I wait until they're older or something.....like a 40 year old mom with an 18 year old kid or at least highschool aged.
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