Guy in his 50's won't date single moms.

[BS76]

I love that you guys think your equipment is going to work forever Age effects men, don't think it doesn't. Besides, unless you have MONEY, an elderly man doesn't have a whole lot to offer a young woman with no children. The world is her oyster.

 

I'm not all about physical sexual prime. Fact of the matter is men hit their max desirability much later than women do. I'd say men hit their stride in their early/mid 30s the same as women do in their late teens and early 20s. Boils down to how the genders view attraction differently. Men get "worldly" and gain status when they're older, women are most fertile when they're younger. Stuff like that. Since men's attraction to women is largely related to indicators of health and fertility and women's attraction to men is largely status, providership, and secuirty, you can see why men who are older are naturally more attractive. We don't get old, we get distinguished. Women on the other hand don't have their benefit, they quickly peak early from a desirability perspective and it's all downhill from there.

 

The most succinct way I can put it is that men have a much longer shelf-life on the sexual marketplace.

Edited June 25, 2010 by BS76

[C-i-C-u]

only a loser would date a single mom its so dumb

Most times it isn't. Women make mistakes, if they have just one child that the guy left then I can understand. And try to date her. Also some of these single mothers are pretty attractive.

[C-i-C-u]

LOL! While I might have a harder time finding someone suitable for a relationship, I have NO problem with offers to get laid . Believe me, I don't really take that as a compliment either.

Yes, as a single mother your only opportunity for a relationship with a man is that he will only want sex and not much else.

[C-i-C-u]

i get hot women without and its easy

Yeah its easy to have sex but to have something meaningful in life. That is not easy. Not that I am saying meaning comes from having a relationship with the opposite sex or anything because it doesn't. But you want to have something special with a woman who means the world to you so much so that you can stare at her beautiful eyes and say what we have is not unique.

[D-Lish]

To each their own, everybody has their own set of specifications and they own them , we don't have to.

 

I'd say this guy will have troubles finding a woman without children in his age bracket- and it isn't likely that a single, childless woman in her 20's or 30's is going to date a man that old. Hell, I just turned 40, and I wouldn't date a man that old (and I don't have kids).

 

As a woman, I find it easier to date without children as some of my single gf's with kids do.

 

I've dated a couple of men with kids, and I hate the baggage. I myself find it taxing to deal with the ex and kids. The lasy guy I dated- his ex wife actually showed up to his house while we were having a dinner date unannounced in order to meet me and see if she wanted me around her children. I wasn't amused as she intruded and helped herself to a glass of wine and threw 20 questions at me. His children were also spoiled and bratty.

 

I don't feel it's weird for your friend to have his convictions, but it's an unrealistic expectation.

[jamal]

Lets face it, men in their 50s are not exactly a catch unless he still has all his hair (salt n pepper is fine), is in great shape, and drives a Porsche.

 

You will be amazed at the rate of ED in men over 45. These guy can not keep up with women in their own age bracket and their cougar women are now chasing after us 30 something males.

 

Things like sperm count also deteriorate once you get to that age and yes a father's age is a factor when it comes to birth defects.

 

I entered fatherhood in my late 20s and will tell you that chasing after a toddler requires a great deal of energy and is not something I would wanna do in my 50s. Now, tell me which young woman would want a 50 something father for her future children?

 

50 year old bachelor reads like "I am not capable of commitment" to a woman. The young women without kids are looking at starting a family and not being some bachelors seasonal trophy.

[tincanman99]

Young women may not want the guy and thats fine. So he restricted his dating pool, as someone else said that his problem.

 

Frankly from my experience if you date a single mom you end up paying for the kids. Both monetarily, with your time and your brain. I dont want to waste ANY OF IT on some other guys' kids. End of story. They are his problem not mine.

 

On top of this there is always all kinds of drama to put up. The ex doesnt want you around them, the kids are spoiled, the ex is hostile, the ex still likes the one you are seeing. Its endless.

 

Who needs the grief.

[stellaluna]

I am getting to the age where women are getting divorced and have kids.

I would be open to it if the girl was awesome, but she'd have to be pretty great to deal with all the stuff that goes along with the baggage.

 

At 55, this dude isn't a catch- no matter what kind of car he drives.

AT the dealership, I see tons of youngish married cougars come in with old flabby rich husbands. ALways, they come back on their own to pick up a car and slip their number or come on to myself or other younger guys in the shop. I am sure the poor guy thinks because he has money that he can have a hot younger wife- but the hot wife is seeking to bang the younger hot guys everywhere she goes.

 

That's not a marriage, it's an arrangement.

[Eeyore79]

Funny enough, women are more accommodating in this regard. Very few women will pass up a man with kids (even those women in their 20s).

 

I don't think that's necessarily true. I'm a woman, and I don't want a man with kids - I want my own kids with my man!

 

Exacty what is it about kids that makes a woman so undesirable?

I guess it's the same reasons why I don't want a man with kids. The kids themselves are annoying, and are a constant reminder of the ex, who continually hangs around and never goes away. Plus the kids cost money, take time and effort to look after, and get in the way. I want my own kids; I don't want my man saying I can't have as many as I want because he already has to support someone else's kids. It also implies that the person with kids wasn't able to make their previous relationship work, despite having a serious commitment such as kids, which is a huge red flag.

[Green]

I am getting to the age where women are getting divorced and have kids.

I would be open to it if the girl was awesome, but she'd have to be pretty great to deal with all the stuff that goes along with the baggage.

 

At 55, this dude isn't a catch- no matter what kind of car he drives.

AT the dealership, I see tons of youngish married cougars come in with old flabby rich husbands. ALways, they come back on their own to pick up a car and slip their number or come on to myself or other younger guys in the shop. I am sure the poor guy thinks because he has money that he can have a hot younger wife- but the hot wife is seeking to bang the younger hot guys everywhere she goes.

 

That's not a marriage, it's an arrangement.

 

Same thing happens with young guys with hot gf's

[craw]

I was really into a single father - but he wanted me to meet his son after the first time we hooked up! I freaked out - now he's dating a single mom and i'm dating an awesome guy with NO KIDS n no criminal record.

[BS76]

Young women may not want the guy and thats fine. So he restricted his dating pool, as someone else said that his problem.

 

Frankly from my experience if you date a single mom you end up paying for the kids. Both monetarily, with your time and your brain. I dont want to waste ANY OF IT on some other guys' kids. End of story. They are his problem not mine.

 

On top of this there is always all kinds of drama to put up. The ex doesnt want you around them, the kids are spoiled, the ex is hostile, the ex still likes the one you are seeing. Its endless.

 

Who needs the grief.

 

Boy does that sound familiar! And it worked out when I didn't continue with the one I was seeing. She ended up moving out of state so her kid could be closer to the dad. That would have ended anything we had going if we'd continued. Who needs that? And this is just scratching the surface of what you may have to deal with when dating a single parent.

[Shakz]

I'm 48 and if I restricted myself to dating only women who've never had kids then the only women left in my town to date would be those few who would not be interested in dating me or any other man.

[ecto-1]

I'd be more than likely to DATE a single mother, but not marry them, because that would mean having to live under the same roof with ALL of them probably. Unless of course the kids are almost adult age or actually adults.

 

I knew of a woman that had no kids, that was living with a guy a little older than her, he had kids, but they were off to college or something. Then when she was cleaning up after dinner, he got a call from his son (he was like 20 or something), the conversation was bout him moving back in with his dad, and he said "Sure no problem, I'll clean up your room before you get here"

 

And HE did this right in front of her without consulting her....but of course he didn't, why would he need HER permission, after all it's HIS son. Why should he have to consult with her?

 

She walked out of that 1 year relationship on the spot.

[ecto-1]

The plus side to dating single mothers, is that they're more appreciative and less superficial.

 

I guess they realize this after having been married to an unfaithful guy or abusive ex husband, they have learned their lesson and have been humbled and will date a short and/or bald guy that they've rejected back in their single days (without kids).

 

Or maybe it's their new found "nurturing" behavior with the kids that kind of carry on to the new man in their life they're dating. They treat him right, stuff like that.

[sally4sara]

My husband has been a great father and role model for my son. He doesn't want a bio child and thinks of my son as his own.

 

I think men who won't date a woman with children (or won't date one seriously but lead on like they will) should stay away from single mothers. They will not likely be a good influence in her or her kid(s) lives. I'm not seeing the sense in giving them grief over it. We should shame them just enough that they change just enough to go after a single mom, treat her shabby and her kid(s) with resentful attitudes?

 

Some people just don't get it and are not qualified to try.

 

Of course, if the guy in question is in his 50s and wants to avoid children, it won't make sense for him to date women so much younger (to avoid children) that they could be his daughter.

[C-i-C-u]

Yeah that's actually not true. I've had opportunities for relationships (with men who like and accept my children). I have a marriage offer on the table now. But I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship so I'm still choosy about who I spend my time with. The assumption that single mothers are desperate and the men who will date them are desperate is incorrect. As a stated earlier, the dating pool is smaller, but it's certainly not dried up.

 

But I wouldn't expect someone who makes such generalizations to see it any other way

Ok generalizations are bad but here comes another one. The thing about single mothers is that once they have a kid they limit the amount of men they see according to financial prospect. Meaning they come become even greedier. Thus limiting the pool of available men and why do they do it? Because they are selfish and fail to lack the responsibility for having a kid out of wedlock and for failing to see the father was not a good man.

[Els]

I don't refuse to use condoms. I'm just not into using them with my seriouse gf.

 

Considering I DON'T HAVE KIDS why should I be willing to date women who do? Maybe if I had kids with a woman I was no longer involved with it would change my mind. BUT THAT IS NOT MY SITUATION.

 

Really? Wasn't it you who started the 'this poster is silly for saying he wants to have sex with condoms on' thread? :rolleyes: The above situation is not your situation... yet. If you ever break up with your gf and have sex with other less-familiar women without condoms though... I'm betting it'll be your situation pretty darn soon.

 

By the way you are probably the ONLY person who thought I meant I would refuse to date a woman I MYSELF IMPREGNATED.

 

I was talking about single mothers impregnated BY OTHER MEN.

Uh, I know? How did you misinterpret the hypothetical situation of you being a 'single dad refusing to date other single moms' to mean that you'd refuse to date the woman you impregnated?

 

I'm sorry if I don't believe in WAITING UNTIL MARRIAGE to have SEX because that really is the only sure fire way.

Oh, Green. Guess what the possible aftereffects of sex before marriage are? That's right, kids! All cool if you don't mind the possibility of being a single dad though. Remember, for every single mom out there that you're scorning, there's a single dad.

[Jersey Shortie]

Lets face it, men in their 50s are not exactly a catch unless he still has all his hair (salt n pepper is fine), is in great shape, and drives a Porsche.

 

You will be amazed at the rate of ED in men over 45. These guy can not keep up with women in their own age bracket and their cougar women are now chasing after us 30 something males.

 

Things like sperm count also deteriorate once you get to that age and yes a father's age is a factor when it comes to birth defects.

 

I entered fatherhood in my late 20s and will tell you that chasing after a toddler requires a great deal of energy and is not something I would wanna do in my 50s. Now, tell me which young woman would want a 50 something father for her future children?

 

50 year old bachelor reads like "I am not capable of commitment" to a woman. The young women without kids are looking at starting a family and not being some bachelors seasonal trophy.

 

Jamal, your exactly the type of man that women want to be with no matter his age because you have a healthy respect for yourself, for women, and for human limitations no matter gender.

 

Women don't want to be with men with Peter-Pan I'm-better-than-women-for x-y- and z" reason attitudes. Because men like this ultimately don't really respect women, and are only thinking of themselves.

 

Everything you said was true. Older fathers do contribute to birth defects just like older mothers. Men experience issues with ED because it's natures way of telling them "they aren't the prime" anymore. I don't really get why a guy would want to wait until he was 50 to have kids. He isn't giving the best of himself biologically to anyone. He isn't thinking about his future children. And he is going to be going to his kid's granduation as a 70 year old man.

 

Thanks for being one of the few men that is honest and real about limitations we all have to deal with in life. I having nothing but respect for you for that.

[threebyfate]

Good gawd, people should have a right to their preferences for dating. Children aren't like having a little ear hair. They're for life and any man or woman who doesn't want to date someone with children, I commend them for being honest.

[alphamale]

Main question here is gentlemen, as you get older, if you had taken issue in the past of dating single mothers, are you more likely to date single moms as you get older if you're still single?

 

Have you found yourself changing your criteria because of this?

dating womem w/ kids has its pluses and minuses

[that girl]

Ok generalizations are bad but here comes another one. The thing about single mothers is that once they have a kid they limit the amount of men they see according to financial prospect. Meaning they come become even greedier. Thus limiting the pool of available men and why do they do it? Because they are selfish and fail to lack the responsibility for having a kid out of wedlock and for failing to see the father was not a good man.

All I can think of reading this are all those 9/11 widows who became single moms because terrorists flew a plane into the building.

 

Greedy, stupid women should have known better.

[ecto-1]

Jamal, your exactly the type of man that women want to be with no matter his age because you have a healthy respect for yourself, for women, and for human limitations no matter gender.

 

Women don't want to be with men with Peter-Pan I'm-better-than-women-for x-y- and z" reason attitudes. Because men like this ultimately don't really respect women, and are only thinking of themselves.

 

Everything you said was true. Older fathers do contribute to birth defects just like older mothers. Men experience issues with ED because it's natures way of telling them "they aren't the prime" anymore. I don't really get why a guy would want to wait until he was 50 to have kids. He isn't giving the best of himself biologically to anyone. He isn't thinking about his future children. And he is going to be going to his kid's graduation as a 70 year old man.

 

Thanks for being one of the few men that is honest and real about limitations we all have to deal with in life. I having nothing but respect for you for that.

 

I thought it was the older woman that contributed to birth defects (or maybe it's both of them?) I just heart that woman approaching 40 who are still wanting kids (surprisingly) would be taking some risks there.

[C-i-C-u]

All I can think of reading this are all those 9/11 widows who became single moms because terrorists flew a plane into the building.

 

Greedy, stupid women should have known better.

Quit being so traumatic. We are not talking about those type of situations or women.

[mixwell]

I was talking to this guy, he's in his mid 50's, apparently he's tried a stab at dating single mothers, and just found out it doesn't work for him.

 

The dude is in his 50's, and I kind of looked at him shockingly, "But you're 55, most kids of women YOUR age are adults!!"

 

And he says, "Doesn't matter, you still have to deal with them in some way."

 

That being said, I'm in my late 30's now, and I USED to have a "No dating single mother policy when I was younger, but now as I get OLDER, I'm finding most women to have children.

 

So I am thinking, "Well, I'm 38, I might as well be a bit more flexible, because most women my age that single, never married, and no kids....are still looking for their 'prince' with their unrealistic expectations"

 

And single moms, being as plentiful as they are around my age, well, I'll should be more flexible.

 

 

Main question here is gentlemen, as you get older, if you had taken issue in the past of dating single mothers, are you more likely to date single moms as you get older if you're still single?

 

Have you found yourself changing your criteria because of this?

 

My mom (im 27) always used to tell me as you get older the chance of you dating a chick your age with no kids grows slimmer because it is true.. At 22 The pool was larger with chicks that didnt have kids as opposed not @ 27..Even still since ive never had kids i refuse to date a chick with a kid.. if i had kids and she did as well it would be a different story because you're both on the same level but if i never had kids and met a chik who did, i would never be with her and as i get older the odds are slimming up on me because it's natural for people in their early,mid,late 20s to have kids...