beatingheartbaby Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 ex-gf of almost 6 years dumps me out of blue. we were ready for engagement and moving in together. long story short. dumps me. cites all usual bs reasons, time and space, needs to find herself, blah blah blah. so my birthday was today. i have been dreading/looking forward to this day for a while. i was delusional. i thought maybe she would call and want to talk things over...i mean, we dated for 6 years. she dumped me, and we went NC...7 weeks worth. then i get the text. "happy birthday. hope you have a great day" i was appalled, as well as relieved. appalled because i was delusional and was expecting a call/her to come to her senses and realize it was the biggest mistake of her life. relieved because it was as if today was it. it was the end of false hope and delusion. i realized that she really doesnt want anything to do with me. more importanatly. i realized i dont want anything to do with her. i replied. "thank you' thats it. not regretting my decision. but a few thoughts cross my mind in retrospect. (as always) 1. why? why wish me a happy birthday? you havent talked to me in weeks. you broke my heart. you knew i had an engagement ring ready, and you broke my heart...and on top of it, wouldnt give me a reason as to why you did it. why? to wage guilt? to feel like a nice person? why? you've done the dirty work. youve thrown me out of your life. youve made your stand. keep it that way... 2. ... well i guess i only had one question...lol. it just seems lame. trust me, i have no false hope. i wouldnt take her back if she paid me. but it just seems funny to me. its like i feel like they are trying to be nice, but in turn, all they are doing is being really, really mean. all that could possibly do is give someone false hope. just stick to the plan! you broke my heart. you are a total jerk. wishing me a happy birthday will just make me think. "oh maybe she doesnt want to burn bridges, maybe she wants to reconcile one day" no chance. im not doing it to myself. happy birthday to me. and a happy official death to this relationship.
Treasa Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Happy belated birthday, and I know what you mean. My ex told me on Monday that he missed having a girlfriend but wasn't certain I was the one he wanted. I never replied to that email, because my pride wouldn't let me. Yesterday morning he emails me a link to something he knew I'd find funny. I didn't answer. Last night, even though he had ALWAYS said he never wanted to join Facebook and would never join Facebook, he joined Facebook. I only know because his joining started appearing on his wall because I had invited him or something, even though he hadn't yet accepted my friend request. Maybe he wasn't going to. I don't know. But it was such a mind**** to see that, being that it was the second time in a day I was forced to be reminded of him. I immediately blocked him, but it messed me up all night. Ex's do such strange and cruel things, usually under the guise of being nice, don't they? It's like, you dumped me, so get the hell out of my life now. Let me heal without your presence. Sorry, but I do know what you're going through.
ADF Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 It is perfectly normal for someone to feel ambivelant after a split, even of they were the ones who ended things. Your ex probably feels guilty for hurting you. There are probably moments when she misses you. And then there are the times she doesn't. Her behavior is erratic because she in torn within her own mind about things.
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 It is perfectly normal for someone to feel ambivelant after a split, even of they were the ones who ended things. Your ex probably feels guilty for hurting you. There are probably moments when she misses you. And then there are the times she doesn't. Her behavior is erratic because she in torn within her own mind about things. I agree. And there's also that "But I also like you as a friend/person and I'd wish friends or even acquaintances happy birthday, so why not you?" logic.
Hurting101 Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Since there's been nc for 7 weeks, I'd say that this was just her trying to be civil and friendly without giving you the wrong impression, the message was very brief. Birthdays are hard to ignore.
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