morganmedina Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 My boyfriend of 3 years always wants to do weird things in bed. He loves it when I rode him backwards (i did in the dark). He wants to do alot of things that will make my body look weird. I hate doing it with the light on. Im self cautious about my body so I like the lights off. I dont like to be loud either cause i get embarrassed. He wants to do 69. But he will be able to see my butt hole. I guess my main problems with sex are: I hate my body. I dont want to see anything jiggle. I hate when boobs jiggle but im guessing he likes it cause hes a guy (but he loves it) I dont want to make a weird noise and he makes fun (he said he likes hearing me moan) I DONT WANT HIM TO SEE MY BUTT HOLE!! (i just dont like butt holes) I feel like i am not adventurous enough for him. How do I break the ice?
VertexSquared Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 By realizing that the things you are self-conscious over he finds incredibly hot. Just go with it... over time you'll get more comfortable once you realize he likes it and doesn't see it the same way you do. It'll also help you be more confident.
marsle85 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I live by a general rule about men: Don't be embarrassed because practically anything and everything about sex turns guys on. When I have my legs behind my head, I think: wow- my stomach is looking sooo bad right now! But guys are just thinking: her pussy is RIGHT THERE, and she's an acrobat! Girl, get yours!
VertexSquared Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I live by a general rule about men: Don't be embarrassed because practically anything and everything about sex turns guys on. When I have my legs behind my head, I think: wow- my stomach is looking sooo bad right now! But guys are just thinking: her pussy is RIGHT THERE, and she's an acrobat! Girl, get yours! Haha, this is so true.
Author morganmedina Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 When I have my legs behind my head, I think: wow- my stomach is looking sooo bad right now! thats exactly what im talking about. when i have sex i am always looking at my stomach or pulling my shirt down (when we arent naked which is like never anymore). i just cant CONCENTRATE!! but i will try to get confortable and realize that he likes my body. thank you to BOTH of you!
marsle85 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 You aren't hopeless. You're expressing nervousness that a lot of girls feel. I've been that way too, until I MADE myself just LET go of ANY nervousness. Fake it until you make it. This is what I'd do: each time you have sex, make yourself do something you normally don't do. For example- all you have to do the next time is ride him reverse cowgirl with the lights off. Next time? Take your shirt off if you feel like it. But no matter what, reverse cowgirl HAS to be an option. Once you made a rule, you have to follow through. But you don't have to do it all at once. This gives you the security of pacing at YOUR speed, but doesn't let you cop out. Girl. You're missing out. Challenge yourself, it WILL get easier. And your BF will give raving reviews, I promise.
Author morganmedina Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 sounds good. i can take it off when im backwards cause then he cant see my stomach. haha. didi i mention i had a kid 2 months ago?? this is why im insecure right now too.
Crazy Magnet Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 If 75W bulbs are a bit too much for you try lighting some candles. Flickering flames flatter everyone!
VertexSquared Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 If 75W bulbs are a bit too much for you try lighting some candles. Flickering flames flatter everyone! This is what I do, and it works pretty well
harmfulsweetz Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 We all think people judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves when they don't at all. The things you hate, he may actually more than likely, love. When guys are having sex and there's a naked woman in front of him, he isn't looking at the love handles or the little pooch, he's looking at everything else, breasts, pussy, legs, ass. Regardless of what we ourselves think of these areas, he's happy with it, and likes to look. Thing is, we often kill our own buzz by being so self aware when really, there's no need. As Marsle said, push yourself that little bit further each time. I'd start with a confidence booster, get him to tell you what he loves about your body, etc, then leave the lights on, then go on top reverse, or whatever, and focus on enjoying yourself and not on your body, because I'm sure it's fabulous, and I'm certain he thinks so.
reservoirdog1 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 What Men and Women are Thinking When They're Naked Together HER: Do I look fat? Does this light make me look ugly? Is my makeup smudged? Does he really think I'm beautiful? Do I look too jiggly in the wrong places? Does my ass look too big? HIM: A naked woman. Thank you, God.
Knittress Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 ... and yet there's guys in this forum going on about how beautiful, fit, healthy women are 'average 6s.' (Though OPs boyfriend does not sound like one of them)
ADF Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 When I have my legs behind my head, I think: wow- my stomach is looking sooo bad right now! But guys are just thinking: her pussy is RIGHT THERE, and she's an acrobat! LMFAO! That 100% correct--and beautifully stated! Well done.
Chicago_Guy Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 My boyfriend of 3 years always wants to do weird things in bed. He loves it when I rode him backwards (i did in the dark). He wants to do alot of things that will make my body look weird. I hate doing it with the light on. Im self cautious about my body so I like the lights off. I dont like to be loud either cause i get embarrassed. He wants to do 69. But he will be able to see my butt hole. I'll never understand why some women don't like doing it when the light is on. If you are that insecure and think that the guy is going to judge you negatively, why are you having sex with him in the first place? I personally wouldn't want to have sex with a women to whom I wasn't very attracted so seeing a woman naked would not turn me off. I, like most men, am visual and like to see what is happening.
Author morganmedina Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 just because im insecure does not mean that the sex is bad. our sex is amazing. i just always think is he looking at my stomach. i have an O everytime. well i could try the candles haha but we live with my parents right now. we are trying to find a house for our family. economy sucks. this is very true. those thoughts are running through my mind everytime.
Eeyore79 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Erm... riding him backwards or doing a 69 isn't exactly "weird". It's fairly standard; it sounds like he's normal and you're a little prudish. If you don't even want him seeing your butt hole, I don't know how you're going to react when he eventually wants to put his penis in it
Author morganmedina Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 well i wont do that anyway. that is just gross. i wasnt saying 69 and backwards was weird i was just saying a few things that im uncomfortable with because of him viewing that. penis will NEVER come close to my butt.
Engadget Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 I live by a general rule about men: Don't be embarrassed because practically anything and everything about sex turns guys on. When I have my legs behind my head, I think: wow- my stomach is looking sooo bad right now! But guys are just thinking: her pussy is RIGHT THERE, and she's an acrobat! Girl, get yours! Very true, we don't care about that. Sadly the media makes women think we care if you have a tummy, or your makeup isn't perfect. We don't, at all.
Eeyore79 Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 No, men don't care if you have a tummy, or your makeup isn't perfect... they care more about being allowed to stick their penis anywhere they want. I know more than one girl who has been dumped for being prudish, refusing anal/oral sex and thinking that perfectly normal things are weird... not saying that your bf will definitely get fed up, just that I wouldn't be surprised because I've seen it happen before.
Author morganmedina Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 if they would dump me for not giving it the way they want then **** them and i wouldnt even feel bad for myself. that person would look like an IDIOT for leaving a perfectly good relationship because of that. being in love is in the mind. not in the sex. if your in it for the sex then you should be single and **** the whole world and never be in a relationship and not hurt those who want to be a long relationship.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 No, men don't care if you have a tummy, or your makeup isn't perfect... they care more about being allowed to stick their penis anywhere they want. I know more than one girl who has been dumped for being prudish, refusing anal/oral sex and thinking that perfectly normal things are weird... not saying that your bf will definitely get fed up, just that I wouldn't be surprised because I've seen it happen before. I agree. I'm not in any way suggesting you should do anything that makes you uncomfortable, unhappy or anything bad because you shouldn't. I don't personally get women who don't give oral but expect to receive it, mind but that's just my opinion. Most men like a woman who will try new things even if they think it will hurt/gross them out etc, it's more the trying of it than the doing it all the time. I used to think 'no way in hell' to anal, then I did it, and liked it. Pushing boundaries and experimenting are not bad things at all, it's good to try the things that we fear. I actually would class anal in the normal category, most people try it at least once and most men wonder about it. I also agree that any man that dumps you for not giving him anal, isn't worth your time.
Author morganmedina Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 im just simply saying that i am uncomfortable (speaking to eeyore79) i do try things and i do give oral. BUT anal will never happen
Shakz Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 What Men and Women are Thinking When They're Naked Together HER: Do I look fat? Does this light make me look ugly? Is my makeup smudged? Does he really think I'm beautiful? Do I look too jiggly in the wrong places? Does my ass look too big? HIM: A naked woman. Thank you, God. :laugh: Like that kid in Animal House!
marsle85 Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 im just simply saying that i am uncomfortable (speaking to eeyore79) i do try things and i do give oral. BUT anal will never happen Don't feel bad about anal. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Not wanting to have anal sex isn't the problem. Your fear of "butt holes" is. If you haven't realized... practically nothing about sex is graceful or extremely hygienic... bodies are just BODIES. You just gotta face it... good sex means your breasts are going to bounce around, and his balls are going to slap your ass. Sex is SILLY. The sooner you appreciate it for what it is, and get over the material stuff... suddenly it's just fun and really you can do no wrong. Queef? BIG DEAL. He's slamming his dick in your pussy. Air pockets form. It's science. Start looking at sex as more a biological joke than a scene from a romance novel, and you'll enjoy it a lot more.
VertexSquared Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Start looking at sex as more a biological joke than a scene from a romance novel, and you'll enjoy it a lot more. Truer words have never been said, haha.
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