Pink_orchid Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 (edited) Just feeling guilty and not sure why. Worked with this woman for a year or so about 3 years ago. We both did the same job so we sat together. We got on quite well and went to lunch together sometimes. I left the job abruptly as I was unhappy and treated badly and I walked. My coworker, and from what I gather, most of my other coworkers, were supportive and understood my reasons. The thing is, this lady kept in touch with me afterwards and was always phoning and texting me, which was nice of her, but I wasn't as keen to reciprocate. I wanted to put that chapter of my life behind me, after leaving the job under a cloud and so on, and I have not advanced in my career since then or in my personal life as I would have wished and I don't want details of my life to get back to my former bosses. As I think they might feel quite smug. (Oh they were a bitchy lot, I was stabbed in the back, that's why I left). Also, she and I don't really have much in common. There is a large age difference (15 years), and culture difference, she is a younger single girl with no kids or close family (due to a family rift), and she was always telephoning me with a host of problems and being quite depressed about everything. I would spend an hour or more on the phone talking to her about her problems and in the end I started to get tired of it and distanced myself; not returning texts and calls and so on or not answering the phone when it was her (I have caller ID on my phone). This lady has continued to try and contact me for two years without me responding! I recently had an invite to a party she is having, and she has texted me this invitation, AND phoned me and left a voicemail, AND a few days later she sent me an e-mail asking if I was still on the same number and I hadn't been in touch with her(??), AND later sent me a facebook message (she's not even a FB friend, as I had deleted her!). It's all a bit weird. I don't want to be horrible or involve the Police or anything of that nature, it's just bugging me so much that she won't leave it, and also I feel guilty. I have never turned my back on anyone so needy but I just can't handle it and don't want to either. Any suggestions please. Should I say something (I don't want to go to the party or resume contact) or just carry on ignoring everything. Edited June 24, 2010 by Pink_orchid
Ronni_W Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Not that you handled your side of things very well but, after 2 years, I'd say just let sleeping dogs lie and maintain 'no contact'. I would also block her from all phones, emails and other accounts -- for my own peace of mind, given I have no intention of ever getting in touch with her again.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Heck, I don't know what you expect??? You are being completely passive aggressive here. TELL the woman how you feel. You want to call the police because she hasn't figured out that you are ignoring her. That she and her problems were too much for you to handle. Do both of you a favor and TELL her that you no longer want to remain in contact or to have anything to do with her. Let her know that it wasn't any percieved hurt by her (so that she doesn't try to appologize for what she didn't do) just that you can't take her neediness as well as your own insecurities about what you have or have not accomplished in your life. Why put the onus on her to understand why you are ignoring her when you can't bring yourself to be honest with her yourlself? Call the police?? Because she hasn't gotten the fact that you are a coward and can't stand up for your own beliefs?? Just let her know what you've told us and tell her you don't want to be in contact with her. Do it by email if you must.
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