samanthaelizabeth88 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 My name is Samantha and Iam 22 years old. My whole life I have identified as straight, I have only dated men. I recently met a lesbian through some friends and we became friends really quickly. We were hanging out with some friends the other day and she asked me to go on a date with her.I asked some of my really close friends for their opinions and the conclusion I got from them was that I should be offended and disgusted that someone who knew I was straight would even ask me out to begin with. But I am not offended. I find it flattering that another woman finds me attractive and/or interesting enough to go on a date with. I thought about it for a day and I agreed to go on the date. We talked about it on the phone and she said she has no expectations she just wants to have a fun night. So my reason for posting this is because we are goin on the date friday night (tomorrow in Australian time) she is picking me up and we are having drinks and dinner , and I have suddenly begun to get really nervous. I have no idea what to expect or what is appropriate. Who pays? If she wants to kiss me or hold my hand or any of that kind of stuff am I supposed to let her or would that be leading her on?? Even though she knows I usually date men is it leading her on by even agreeing to go on this date?? If iam really into the date and into her is it ok for me too kiss her??
Fay Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 It's just like a date with a guy. If you end up feeling like you're into her, do whatever feels comfortable. Do you kiss or hold hands with every guy you go out on a first date with? No, right? Exactly. First dates are no-expectations. Just don't do anything you feel uncomfortable doing and you'll be OK. As for the check, you can either adhere to the "whoever invited pays" rule or you can split the check down the middle.
Arbitrariness Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 My guess is if she respects the fact that this is something new to you, she will try not to make you feel uncomfortable. I think she would be considering this as she has asked you to dinner and not to go clubbing. People like to catagorise others into straight, gay ect. but the truth is that its not always so black and white when it comes to ones sexuality. That being said if you truly feel no attraction to this girl, it would be prudent to let her know. I think you should pretty much treat it like a normal date and only include intimacy if you are both comfortable.
Shakz Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 It's just like a date with a guy. If you end up feeling like you're into her, do whatever feels comfortable. Do you kiss or hold hands with every guy you go out on a first date with? No, right? Exactly. First dates are no-expectations. Just don't do anything you feel uncomfortable doing and you'll be OK. As for the check, you can either adhere to the "whoever invited pays" rule or you can split the check down the middle. That's some pretty good advice, Fay. OP, I'm sure this woman knows you've only been involved in straight relationships. She likely won't try to pressure you into anything your not comfortable with. Just let nature take it's course. You're obviously bi-curious since you were flattered rather than offended by her attention. That doesn't mean you're a lesbian, or bisexual, just curious.
Fay Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Also, are you "leading a guy on" when you agree to go out on a date with him? No, you're getting to know him. Unless your usual dating practice is "date = guaranteed sex". The only thing you're telling her is that you're willing to get to know her and you're bi-curious. Which you are. You know you are. Otherwise you wouldn't have accepted the invite.
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