clandestin Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Here's the story in a nutshell: I've known my current girlfriend for two years, which were very varied. First few months were just magical, then followed a year of very high highs and very low lows (we were often communicating on long-distance with nasty talks, but even if we were close we would emotionally abuse each other). January this year, she breaks up with me, and only a few days later, she gets together with another guy at a party. She calls me, I come over to her place and we talk it through, but she dates him anyway. This goes on for a month, while I am still waiting and trying to convince her to drop him for me, but she keeps being rude. Eventually, she breaks up with him, only to start a life of fun and pleasure, involving drugs, kissing different guys while being naked, etc. At the same time, she goes through a rough period at work, and I keep trying to support her, both as a friend and as someone who loves her like crazy. She ends up playing games with me, sleeping with me once then hooking up/falling in love with others again, seemingly having no problem with this lack of coherence in her actions. Eventually, we do get back together, but I am very scarred by all that has happened, all that has been said, etc. Unfortunately, she does not manage to actually show some empathy, and she only gets pissed from every mention on how much of a horrible person she has been. Recently, however, we went on a great travel, this kind of life-changing experience travel which was very very good for us, and made me regain trust in her. However, now we are at home again, on long distance, and she starts writing things as "i'm not sick of you. i'm just feeling a bit weird. but i don't want to talk about it." and "i'm going through a strange period." and being a horrible bitch as ever before. Why is she doing this? Is she cheating? Is she just a borderline personality? And more importantly, should I, despite the fact I love her more than anything else in the world, continue in a relationship with her and continue doing positive efforts, or should I stop it and look elsewhere?
ALombard Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD RUN! RUN AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK! IN FACT BURN THE PATH BEHIND YOU! I say this simply because I went through the exact same thing with my ex. It was horrible. I did get her back eventually but by the time that happened my trust in her was ruined, she started tripping out think I was going to do the same thing to her (i love how the cheaters are always the ones freaking out the most). We lasted on and off for another year and then the relationship just imploded. I wont lie it was a sh*t storm of regret and emotions at first. Feeling like I could've done things differently, been better to her, etc. But after 2 months of being without her I realized that if I could turn back time I would go back and make it TRY to work with her. I would've just cut her out of my life back when we first split up. Before I went through what you're going through now. I am telling you, the time, effort, and money you're going to put into this girl are not worth it. Also, the physical, mental, and emotional anguish you WILL go through isn't worth it. Like I said I went through months of that crap and I did eventually get her back but the 7 or so months I had to fight for her wore me out and I literally become a shell of a man. It consumed me, she consumed me, and I came out of it as a man whose entire world revolved around one girl. Listen to me it really isn't worth it. Break up, leave her, go through the sh*t feelings and lonliness you will have a for a bit and find someone new. Girls like yours and my ex never change. They just become better for a moment then snap back into psycho mode
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