Found out x was cheating on me, I want to confront her about it

[Hamish]

I was working away from home doing 4 weeks on 1 week off roster and was doing this so i could start family with girlfriend with the extra money that the job would pull. We had just moved in together and I was doing my last month away before quitting and getting normall job in town. I'm keeping this story very short, there is so much information but basically when I quit my away job we broke up, she was very withdrawn from me from day 1 and kept wanting to start arguments with me, unfortunately I'd argue back and we broke up with in 3 days of me being home. Cause it ended so fast I asked her if anything was going on and she said no, even to this day she says its all my fault cause i kept arguing against her. Yesterday I asked 1 of x girlfriend's old flatmate if she knew anything and she said she heard that the male flatmate of their house rooted my missus at the time and she was also doing the dirty on me with her x boyfriend as well when I was away. That makes me angry cause she's been lieing to me. I want to confront her and get her to admit it, whats the best way to do this????

 

I don't know if the info is true, the person who told me heard it off male flatmates friend, I'm going to have talk to this friend shortly to find out its suspicion or if it came from male flatmate cause my missus at time was close to this guy and she would had told him every thing thinking she could trust him. Unfortunately people talk.

 

I know I shouldn't put anymore energy or thought into her but if she admits to this it will hurt but I will get my closure I need.

[imagine]

I know I shouldn't put anymore energy or thought into her but if she admits to this it will hurt but I will get my closure I need.

 

You picked a Ho. She will come after you if you leave her alone. They tend to feel inadequate if you don't contact them.

 

Towards closure, you may need to examine what you want in a girl before you pick another ho. If you are concerned about yourself: Read the Five languages of Love. Also check out Lovebuster articles at the marriage builders website.

[heavensmesenger]

I've experienced this before with a past ex about 3 years ago and one thing I've learnt is that if they don't want to tell you they won't. Simple.

 

She may very well have cheated on you but she doesn't have to admit it and she never will. One of my ex's went as far to say that she had cancer and that was the reason she was seeing this particular guy when in fact she was sleeping with him.

 

Yes people talk but your not doing yourself any favours in moving on. Leave the bitch to it I say and ignore her.

[Windsurf66]

Are you still in contact with your ex as normal friends? If not, forget it and move on. If yes, confront her and if she was cheating, I don't think you want a cheater even as a friend. Because if she can betray a bf, she can betray any friends

 

If you are not in contact with her, and she comes back to you for friendship/relationship, then expose her and do not be friends with her.

[cavedweller]

Hamish,

 

Drop it and move on..

[Diezel]

What do you hope to gain from asking her about this?

 

Closure???

 

Closure is the biggest fallacy when it comes to relationships. It's nothing more than an excuse to try to get the last word in.

 

You don't even know if the rumor is true.

 

BTW, women have a wonderful way of turning things around on YOU.

Confront her with this and you'll end up falling flat on your face.

 

Obviously, you have nothing better to do with your life than think about what your ex has done. I think it's time to pick up some new hobbies and date some new women.

[Mimolicious]

This is why people shouldn't make life changing decisions for someone that they are not completely committed to. I am assuming you are now unemployed?

 

What are you hoping you get out of comfronting her?

 

I agree with Diezel. The whole "closure" talk could also backfire on you. Don't sabotage yourself and hurt your own feelings by reaching out, digging and creating more drama. You guys broke up, odds are that she in fact cheated, move on!

[Hamish]

I was lucky to get my old job back, things aren't that bad for me, pulling awesome money again but doing the bad 4 weeks away 1 week home roster for now. I'm happy work wise. Got another girl lined up so thats another plus. As far as confronting my x goes I might just sent last and final email telling her what a spineless bitch for not even having the guts to tell me what had really happened. I just want her to know I worked her out and that I'm not an idiot. I guess that would be me trying to get last word in but should make me feel better.

[Diezel]

As far as confronting my x goes I might just sent last and final email telling her what a spineless bitch for not even having the guts to tell me what had really happened. I just want her to know I worked her out and that I'm not an idiot. I guess that would be me trying to get last word in but should make me feel better.

 

And then she'll send you an email back... and then it'll go on and on...

 

Why?

 

Because you CAN'T LET GO.

And that's why you WON'T get the last word either.

 

You'll send her that email and then wonder what she'll say back.

 

Look, be a bigger man, LET IT GO.

MOVE ON

[Mimolicious]

All of that ^^^^ there + she can reply back telling you how she was splacking some dude in your bed and what a sucka you were.

 

Do you really want to have someone have such power to hurt you any further?

 

Some things are better left unsaid!

[jenifer1972]

Just as long as you did the email for yourself and don't expect her to cop to anything or be sorry about it.

 

Now, life is strange, and quite a few times I have found that people who did really terrible things to me found themselves in situations where they were quite at my mercy, and the tables were turned a few years later. Quite uncanny actually... And let me tell you, revenge can be reaaally sweet served cold..