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Is she blowing me off or busy or playing games?


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Posted (edited)

I'm 35, divorced for a couple years now, and I get a tip from a friend that this really attractive girl likes me. she's super sweet to everybody, so it's hard to say if she was just talking nicely about me to him and he took it the wrong way. anyway i initiate conversation when we see each other, we meet up as friends once, keep in touch via text for a week or so, then i ask her on a date.

 

we go on the first date, casual, nice, I didn't try to kiss her for some reason. oh well...

second date, nice restaurant, great time talking and we stayed for like 30 minutes after we ate just talking. Dropping her off at her house i went in for the kiss. she sort of sat there for a second and i thought i was rejected and said "oh well" or something stupid. then she came in for what i thought was a sympathy kiss or goodnight peck, but she brought the tongue out and we kissed for half a minute or so. I was nervous, haven't kissed a new girl since i met my ex, except for drunk in a bar, and forgot to take the gum she gave me out of my mouth. so maybe the kiss wasn't as good as I could've made it. but she said call me. (and maybe she was pausing to take out her gum now that I think about it)

 

so the next week, we talk, text, she's all flirty and nice, but when i try to hang out that weekend she says she's too busy. she has a full time job and is in summer school, so that's super busy i know, but I think it's bull****. so i lay low for like 5 days, then text her back and forth and ask if she would like to hang again soon. she instead responds by asking me a question about something else in my previous text. then I answer that question and she responds like 3 hours later "cool, I'll call you soon" I'm half expecting her to call and tell me she ins't really up for dating or some crap.

 

{in between the texts, my friend at work, whom I had told about the 2 dates, only because he was repeatedly suggesting I ask her out, and i told him not to tell anybody, says he told his wife, and his wife had asked the girl about me. so it looks like i'm running around telling everybody all about her. i got a very larry david feeling from that, and wanted to explain it when she called}

 

instead, she doesn't call, but late that night I get a text "I'm sorry I'm just so stressed about work and school but lets catch up soon." I know she's busy, but one would think a person would have time to make a call for five minutes if they were interested or even ****ing polite. so after the text about being busy and stressed, I'm actually pissed about all the run around, but classy as I am i return the text with "no need to apologize, you're busy, that's ok. would love to hang again, but if we just run into each other with some friends, that's ok too. you know where to find me, peace"

 

her response to that was "thank you so much, you're so sweet let's catch up soon" I am so ****ing insulted by that! Why?

 

interesting side note: a few weeks before this (before we actually ever went on a date) she didn't respond to something or other, so I erased her number and forgot about her. a week later she texted me out of the blue, at which point I asked her out.

 

Now my question is A)if she likes me, why would she not make just a little time? or is it dumb games?

B) If she doesn't like me, why would she bring out the tongue when she could've easily gotten out of the car without a kiss at all, and why does she return my texts?

C) did my lame kiss while trying to balance gum in my mouth blow it for me?

D)did the friend telling his wife about us dating ruin it for her?

E) is "let's catch up soon" code for "you're a loser get lost?"

WWWWW TTTTTTT FFFFFFFFF IS THIS???? I hate this single crap. nobody is worth this hassle so i erased her number again. I hope she hits me up again but then again if it's gonna be a damn run around like this I hope she doesn't!!!!1 Is mid thirties dating more games than mid twenties dating was? sure seems like it:mad:

Edited by billy baroo
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Posted

I am a woman, divorced, kids, school, work and all that jazz, so it sounds to me like she really is busy, however, if she liked you for real real? She would make time. I don't care if it's just an hour of lunch, dinner or whatever...she could just come out and somehow see you. When you like someone especially at a new thing like this, you think about them and you want to spend time with them. However, it could also be insecurities...until one gets secure in an official relationship, nerves of "failure" could still linger.

 

On a positive note, she texts you from the blue...but I always stick to the rule that although we are in 2010, us women like to be chased. Pursue her for about 2 weeks straight, if you are still not happy with the results, then back off and move on. Hope I helped!

  • Author
Posted

yeah I already did what you said. just wanted to vent. Made one more run at her and got stalled again, so I called another girl last night. I kinda liked that one but NOBODY is going to jerk me around like that

Posted

Yeah if you stick around long enough you'll get another date with her and hear all about how she just saw a movie with a friend, or went out with a group of friends or how she didn't do much the last weekend because she had plans and they fell through..... and you'll sit there wondering how she had time for everyone but you.

 

If you're lucky like me you'll bump into her dating someone you know and somehow they all of the sudden have every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and random weekday night open for that guy.

 

I pretty much have found whenever I have to ask, "is she playing games?" it doesn't really matter if she is or not, that's just the signal to move on. Even when women are really busy if they want to actually see you, they find a way to fit you into their schedule even for a short time.

Posted
Yeah if you stick around long enough you'll get another date with her and hear all about how she just saw a movie with a friend, or went out with a group of friends or how she didn't do much the last weekend because she had plans and they fell through..... and you'll sit there wondering how she had time for everyone but you.

 

If you're lucky like me you'll bump into her dating someone you know and somehow they all of the sudden have every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and random weekday night open for that guy.

 

I pretty much have found whenever I have to ask, "is she playing games?" it doesn't really matter if she is or not, that's just the signal to move on. Even when women are really busy if they want to actually see you, they find a way to fit you into their schedule even for a short time.

 

I completely agree with all of this! It is so true. Good post.

Posted
Yeah if you stick around long enough you'll get another date with her and hear all about how she just saw a movie with a friend, or went out with a group of friends or how she didn't do much the last weekend because she had plans and they fell through..... and you'll sit there wondering how she had time for everyone but you.

 

If you're lucky like me you'll bump into her dating someone you know and somehow they all of the sudden have every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and random weekday night open for that guy.

 

I pretty much have found whenever I have to ask, "is she playing games?" it doesn't really matter if she is or not, that's just the signal to move on. Even when women are really busy if they want to actually see you, they find a way to fit you into their schedule even for a short time.

 

 

:lmao: or she will be super tanned from all the "busy time" at the beach. LOL!

 

I completely agree with this! How busy can anyone be for a quick call or a text. If you want to linger around for a few more weeks and see what she does, then go ahead. If no changes, then don't resave her number next time she is bored and comes across your number while scrolling.

 

WOA- don't let someone that is not an active or really important person in your life get the best of you and piss you off so bad. Brush off your shoulders and don't let negative energy take over you. Your time will come! Seems to be harder dating in our 30's. I want to say it is because we see things for what they are and it bothers us rather than believing all is unicorns and rainbows.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

I HATE LIFE. I liked that one, and she gave me every reason to think she liked me too, then just jerked me around. I ****ing hate women right now. I really don't want to become one of those woman haters, but all the ones I know are dumb cunts!!!!!! except for the ugly ones. maybe I'm a loser and should lower my standards. or ****ing get a rope and hang myself. this world sucks ass. I want my ****ing 200 dollars back!!!!! but instead I was all sweet about practically helping her blow me off. what a schmuck I am!!!!!!! FML!!!!! I called this other girl but she's not near as hot as the other one. I won't settle for a goddamn half ass chick. but I got dicked over by my ex, and every other one. nice guys do finish last, so maybe I'll become a mysoginist prick and demand my money back if I don't get anywhere after 2 dates. ater all, dating is just legal prostitution where you don't even know if you get what you paid for. in real life I could never act like I'm talking about acting. Just venting. I really feel like giving up though. I spent like 4 months working on this other girl before just to find out i wasn't into her. what a ficking waste of life this is. I am supposed to be married still.

Edited by billy baroo
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